the night we met | minishaw

chapter 10: changes

something was happening to simon, something he didn't like, something harry didn't like either.

everyday simon found himself constantly snapping at harry over the littlest things, literally everything he would do would annoy him. it could range from spilling his drink to breathing slightly loud. it all got on simon's nerves, for no reason.

on a date harry had tried stealing a meatball from simon's plate and simon just yelled at him for it, called him an embarrassment and told him to stop showing him up. he immediately felt bad afterwards, and harry didn't smile for the rest of the night. just stared at the table with a sad expression on his face that made simon feel like even more of a shit human being.

on harry's mums birthday he had a go at him for wanting to see her, meaning he would leave simon in the apartment all day. harry didn't see why that would be a problem and even offered for him to come with, that made simon even fucking madder. he told himself that he was acting like this because he was jealous, he couldn't see his mum on her birthday so why should harry?

harry just ended up yelling at simon back then leaving in a rage, didn't come back til 2 days later. simon spent those 2 days wallowing in self hatred and pity, feeling bad for harry but not bad enough to text him 'sorry', he just couldn't bring himself to. he still made up for it when harry finally got home though, simon made him a huge, fancy dinner and let him take whatever food he wanted off his plate. but even, in the back of his mind, he was still angry at harry, for no clear reason.

a couple weeks later harry came home with a new jacket that cost £200, of course simon blew up at him for it, he tried so hard not to yell, he fucking hated himself for it, but he couldn't stop treating harry like shit.

simon could tell that harry was growing more and more distant too, he was almost afraid of simon and what he had become. he wasn't a total monster no, but he was still a piece of work, always picking on him for the littlest of things, harry didn't know how much more he could take. he tried his hardest to pretend not to care when simon would yell at him over stupid shit like how he forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste, yet a minute later would cuddle up to him in bed like nothing ever happened.

harry kinda knew that simon felt bad about it, so he would never retaliate, always just brush it off, it still hurt though.

simon stayed up late one night thinking about it, why couldn't he stop? why was he like this?

then it dawned on him that he was becoming more and more like his parents. his addict, alcoholic, deadbeat, shitty parents.

his dad would do this all the time, blow up over the smallest things, and simon would watch his mum not say anything back, just apologise and go about her day like nothing happened. simon always wondered why she did that, why she didn't just leave his sorry ass.

now he knew, and harry was going through the same thing.

this couldn't continue, he had to stop letting his anger overtake him everytime harry would do something, he needed to learn to control his temper and make both of their lives better, because right now he was dragging the both of them down.

the next morning harry woke simon up with his snoring, but he didn't say anything, he just took a deep breath and told himself he wanted to get up early anyway. then he went the whole day without saying any shitty thing to harry, that day became a week, which became two weeks, which became a month.

harry was evidently a lot happier now he wasn't being shat on for the smallest things, it was a lot better now.

but simon still felt awful, everytime he looked in the mirror or heard what he was saying all he could see was his dad.

his worthless, good for nothing dad that left his mum to die and moved to a country thousands of miles away, that's what he was turning into.

something his mum once said to him when she would get annoyed at him was playing on repeat in his mind.

'like father like son'

there was no way simon could keep doing this, he didn't wanna end up killing harry the same way his dad killed his mum.

he couldn't let himself do that.

something had to change.