(Your Point of View)
People have asked me many times about my own love life. The thing is it's not as simple as it is for other girls. I've been a bigger girl my whole life. And because I am no guy has ever shown interest in me. It's a tricky thing to mess with. You can find, it but not want it because you're a workaholic. You can have it too much of it and not know how to give it to someone in healthy ways. You cannot have it at all but want it so much that you'd do anything to get it. You can feel it for one two many people at the same time and play both parties.
There's so many ways you can have it, use it, some people even abuse it. There's family love, friend love, and romantic love. Theres even people who would say they love you with all of their heart. But it only being a lie and it only turning out to be a fantasy. A big hopeless dream you thought would be real. And then some people think they don't deserve it, that they shouldn't be aloud to love. Some people are afraid of loving someone else in fear that they'll get their heart broken again.
It's sad really...Because, I thought I found it, I thought that I would be with him for ever. I thought that he loved me back. And I believed him every time he said I was beautiful. As hot tears ran down my cheeks. I only thought of one thing. That I'm the BIGGEST idiot in the world.
Why would I think that he'd love me. Why did I think that he would want to take care of me. Why would he want me as much as I wanted him? Why didn't I just turn away from my feelings from him like I always do. What's so special about him that would make things differently? No matter what people say or do it always comes to the same ending for me. I get torn apart, my heart always ends up broken into pieces on the floor. But then why?
Why do I want to try again with him?
What's so different with him then any other guy on the streets? Why do I feel like the love he feels for me...is real?
Could it truly be different this time for me? Would this actually end well for me? Does he truly and honestly love me? As I stood there he still held out the flowers for me. He nervously awaited my for my answer. But I was still in just so much shock when he asked me to be go on a date with him.
My heart was telling me to try one more time.
To give love one more chance to redeem themselves. But why is my head telling me not to? God I hate it when this happens? Why does it keep on saying not try? Maybe it's because of the fact that it always ends up with my heart getting broken.
He's my best friend, he's sweet, kind, funny, and he can have bit of a temper as well. But he's handsome, loyal, brave, and cunning. He sighed as he closed his charming green eyes as he gave me the flowers.
Oh Raph...why did it have to be you? I never thought that you'd love me? Why do you you feel such things for me?
You deserve so much more then what I can give you, why me?
R: Sorry ta bother ya...I get why ya don't wanna go on a date with me. We cool? Bromance not romance? Heheh.
"H-how...why me? There's millions of other girls out there. Why pick someone like me?"
R: Cause your kind, ya get my humour, ya put up with me and my brothers. Ya the most creative person I've ever met. And you are really gorgeous there princess.
"Gorgeous? Red, look at me. I'm no where near the word pretty or beautiful. I am not gorgeous..."
R: Yer right there's not a word in the books to describe yer beauty...
He looked down at his feet, his hands in his pockets as I looked at the roses he gave me. Looking back at him I see his hand reach for mine as he lifted it up. He gave out a sweet gentle kiss on the top part of my hand.
R: I know it doesn't mean that much coming from me but I think your perfect.
"Red...I-I"
He placed a hand on my cheek as he looked at the flowers. I was just so speechless as I started looking up to my eyes.
R: I know I'm not perfect, heck I'm a giant mutant turtle but...I want you to keep something all right? Just please don't ever give it back.
"What is it..."
A second later I felt his lips on mine, no ones ever kissed me before. I've had boyfriends but they would refuse to kiss me or hold hands. Saying that they wouldn't kiss someone as fat or ugly as me. But I let my heart lead my body, as my mind protested my arms were still wrapping around his neck. Leaning myself on him.
This couldn't be love, could it?
If it was it wouldn't be like this. He wouldn't be the one wrapping his arms around my waist. And he would definitely not be the one pulling me in closer to him.
When we broke the kiss in need of air I looked into his eyes as I smiled a true smile. Something I haven't done in a long time. It feels nice. I looked at my hand that was placed over his heart.
"I promise I'll keep it as long as you don't break the one in your hands..."
We hugged as we fell to the flour as we both stared to tear up and cried happy tears.
R: I promise that I'll take extra good care of your heart princess.
He took a shaky breath as he held onto me tighter. I'm trusting you Red, to show me what love is. Because I need you, I need you to show me what that word really and truly means. So then I can give it to you.
