The Christmas Party

All of You

"Maybe you don't know me at all."

I laughed humorlessly. "If you want to tell yourself that to make you feel better, then fine. But you and I both know I know you. I know the real you. I know the you that took care of her brother for years. I know the you that put herself through law school. I know the you that will let my nieces braid her hair and sled with her. I know the you that loves Christmas and snow and cheesy movies. I know the you that loves her brother more than anything else in this world. I know the you that loves sweets and having pajamas days and loves the rain. I know the you that can't sleep in, that loves going to bed early, and has to have her bed made a certain way. I know the you that hates her kitchen being dirty. I know the you that wants somebody to listen, to wait, to care enough to pay enough attention to her to notice all of these little things about her, like how she thinks she has to do everything alone and fight anyone every step of the way until that personal finally breaks through and shoulders some of her burden.

"I know all of you. Everything. I know that scares you, that someone else besides Luca could possibly care about you like, could know you like that, but you have to let someone in. You can't live a life in isolation, Thea, it will kill you. I know you're worried, but there isn't one aspect of you that scares me, that I dislike, that I'm not all in for and I think of anybody I'm in a position to tell you that truthfully, honestly. Look at me. You know when I'm lying, when I'm dishonest. Look at me and tell me that I'm lying to you."

Thea stood there, silent, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"I told you I loved you and I meant that, Thea. I didn't just mean I love you conditionally. I didn't mean that I will only love you if everything is perfect. I know there will be bad days, I know a relationship is work and just because it's easy right now doesn't mean it always will be, but Thea I love you. For me this isn't some game or some passing feeling. This love for you isn't fleeting. It's deep, it's personal, it's all consuming. I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to grow tired of you. I love you endlessly." Then I started to cry and I whispered to her. "I will always love you, despite what happens. This is stupid, I know it is, but I just—I know with you. I know you're it. I know you're the one I want to be with, even if it has only been ten days, I've known you for three years and maybe it's only been the last ten days that I've known I've loved you, but it's always been there.

"I won't get over you. I can't. I just. I love you Thea. I love you. I love every part of you and nothing scares me, nothing makes me want to turn away. And, God, I wanted to fight you. I want to fight for you so badly. I want to scream in your face and tell you how stupid you are. If I could stand here all night and tell you all of the reasons I love you, all of the reasons why should choose us, I would."

I took a deep breath and watched Thea, who still stood, silent, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I think I've overstayed my welcome," I said. "I want to respect you and what you want, but please know I don't want to leave. I never wanted to leave. I want you and you're all I'll ever want. You're all I've ever wanted and I would never let you lose your family again."

When Thea still said nothing, I pulled open the door. The rush of cold air hit my face. I turned to look back at her one last time, to take in her face one more time before I let her go, because I had to. I poured out my heart, but it wasn't enough.

"I thought," I whispered, taking a deep, shaking breath. "I thought I was your family."

Thea was kissing me. I don't know how she moved so quickly across the room, but the door was shut, the cold was pushed away and warmth spread through me. Our tears mingled together on our cheeks and our kiss was salty. Thea cradled my cheeks in her hands and kissed me, her mouth full of words she was unable to speak. It said I'm sorry. It said please forgive me. It begged me to love her. It begged me to never leave her. It thanked me for staying.

"I love you," she said against my mouth.

I pushed my mouth against hers, tangling my hands in her hair, pushing every unspoken word of love and desire and passion through my body into hers. I need her to know this was forever for me. I needed her to know that I would never leave. I needed her to know I was her family.

Thea pulled off my coat and scarf and pulled me closer. My heart beat so quickly in my chest, not wanting to lose her, not wanting to be apart from her for even a second.

"Stay with me," she whispered. A plea. "I'm sorry."

I pulled back to look at her, to wipe away the tears, to promise her. "I won't let you push me away."

Tears bubbled up and poured over again. "Thank you."

"Never thank me for loving you. Never thank me for staying. It's the easiest thing I've ever done."

"How are you so good?"

"Because someone like you deserves that. Someone like you deserves the world."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you."

I pulled her to my lips and kissed her, parting her mouth with mine. I felt life flooding back into me. I felt rejuvenated. I felt alive. I felt Thea becoming whole against my body. I felt the woman I love come back to life in my arms.

"I love you, I love you, I love," I whispered to her. A thousand times. A million times. Enough to make her never forget.

And then Thea was pulling me down the hall until we were in her room and the door was locked and she was peeling off my clothes and I let her. I undressed her slowly, kissing every inch of her as I stripped away the layers of insecurity that kept from me.

We stood before each other, vulnerable, trusting, loving.

Thea laid me down in bed, kissing me, running her hands over my body like she was ready to take possession of it, like I belonged to her. She kissed my mouth, my neck, my collarbone, kissed my down my chest and to my stomach and I felt like I was hers, completely, wholly.

"I'm sorry," she said to again.

"Please stop apologizing," I whispered.

"What can I do?"

"Love me."

Thea covered my mouth with hers and pulled me close, her strong hands supporting my back. She kissed back down my neck, nipping at the skin and making me sigh. She worked her way down my body, telling every inch how much she loved me. She caressed my sides, my shoulders, my breasts and slid further down until her head was between my legs. She kissed the insides of my thighs. My breath came out in ragged strains and I closed my eyes, feeling her on my skin.

When her tongue pressed against me, I cried out her name. She gripped my hips and pulled me against her, her tongue flicking all over me. My back arched, the pleasure making me shake. I moaned her name. She looked up at me and I looked down at her. The eye contact was all consuming; I lost myself in her eyes, in her love, until I came against her tongue, shaking uncontrollably, and still, she didn't stop. She kept going until I was begging her to stop, until I was sure I couldn't go on and then even, then she pushed me over the edge once more before kissing her way back up to me and wrapping me in her arms.

I never knew I could miss the feeling of another's person's skin on mine until I felt her pressed against me, smelled the scent of her. I inhaled her as much as I could, never wanting to forget the feel of her body or the smell of her skin.

She held me close, running her fingers through my hair, the other arm wrapped protectively around my back, holding me. When I recovered, I tried to reciprocate, to make love to her, but she wouldn't let me.

"Tonight is about you," she said. "Let me love you tonight. Let me give you all of my love."

I did. I spent the night in her arms, our naked bodies pressed tightly against each other, like we were worried if either one of us loosened our grip the other wouldn't be there.

We fell asleep before midnight, but it was still the best New Year's Eve of my life because I fell asleep with her in my arms and I knew she'd be there in the morning.

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A/N: Thank you for reading, voting, and commenting!

Update 3/3 for the day! I hope you all enjoyed the little rollercoaster I put you on (I'm so sorry lol), but I told you there would be a happy ending! Let me know what you thought of the chapter / the mini conflict :)

Tomorrow will be the last chapter!

Cheers everyone!