CHAPTER 7

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I can't go home. Mother will understand.

The district feels like a prison cell, small, congested and...suffocating.

I need air, space -to think.

***

I stumble through the Seam and reach the Meadow. I'm putting everything -my family, her family, the Hob- at risk.

Katniss and I usually don't hunt after the reaping. It's risky with so many Peacekeepers crawling around. Above that, there is electricity almost throughout the entire day, effectively trapping me inside. But I don't care.

I crash near a loose stretch in the fence. I reach for the fence when I hear the hum that indicates that the fence is live. Somehow this leaves me even lonelier.

Having lost the will to do anything, I lay on my back, right there, in plain sight. I don't bother of being caught, it's getting dark anyway.

I stare at the sky, the darkness of twilight merging with the soft shades of sunset.

Katniss.

***

I sit up straight. The constant hum I've been listening to has stopped. I turn back. Silence. The district has settles down for the night.

I scramble beneath the loose links of the fence and run into the woods.

I don't even stop to arm myself. Reckless. I keep running without a sense of direction. The cold air cuts my cheeks but I continue running nonetheless.

Katniss.

***

I finally stop when my body can't take any more cold. I collapse by a tree and lean against it, out of breath.

I tuck my legs beneath me and breathe into my palms. I hadn't brought my jacket nor had I armed myself. I'm such an easy catch for any predator. 

Terror strikes me hard.

What if she's stuck like this? In the cold, being hunted down? With no weapon? What if-

Gale, I slap myself, she's an experienced hunter.

She's coming back. She gave me one job to do and I will do it without hesitation.

***

I need to get back, to my family, to Prim.

Katniss is on her own. She can take care of herself. But Prim is still young and soft. She needs someone to protect her.

***

The Seam is quiet.

I slowly open the door, careful not to wake anyone up.

A small flame flickers in the dark. My family sleeps in the bed. I kneel beside the candle.

So it is true that people look younger when they are asleep.

My mother could be the same woman she was before the explosion that took our father.

She looks so peaceful.

I brush the hair out of her forehead and stand up. I can feel my eyes sting. I turn around to leave when I feel her hand on my shoulder. She pulls me to her and I bury my face in her hair.

"Why her Ma?" I ask her. "Why her?"

"I don't know" she whispers.

I cling onto her tightly. Her hand caresses my back but I barely notice.

My mother's hair becomes damp. I pull away slightly. I reach for my face. Tears.

"I should have volunteered too."

***





AUTHOR'S NOTE

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