Was She Ever Mine?

Prologue

Ever had that feeling where you suddenly feel like your life is perfectly planned out just by looking at someone's face, from the sparkle in her eyes and the warmth of her smile? I know I have and I know that this girl is the one.

The future is something that we can never foresee and what will happen will happen, but we're the ones who make decisions like some RPG character that lets you pick the choices but has its own program to carry on. As for me, I feel like I have these choices where I would either be with one girl my whole life or seek out there in the ocean for more. I guess, in this case, I just voided out my choices.

One girl for life wouldn't kill me, would it? Besides she is the most fantastic girl a guy could ever have and ask for. She's the best friend I had who stays with whatever it is that I am. She appreciates me more than anyone. She is the love of my life and nothing can ever go against that. Each day, our love grows stronger and each day, we fall deeply in love with each other.

"Baby! What took you so long?" She looks frustrated and a bit haggard from all the heat.

I smiled and placed a sweet kiss on her cheek, "You look beautiful."

"Like that answered my question," she said sarcastically. "What's that behind you?"

"A white rose, I presume," I said

"Who's that intended for? Are we going to visit my grandad? Cause he sure need some white rose right now to sit on his black tombstone."

I smiled and laughed, "You're cute and no, it's not for your grandad. It's yours. I saw this and I thought you'd appreciate it. So, where are we going?"

I can see that she's blushing, I love it when she blushes. With her fluffy cheeks turning rosy pink and her iridescent smile that she can never hide.

"I love you," we said in unison which made us laugh, creating permanent smiles across our faces.

The thing about this girl is that she's my opposite yet we are each other's counterpart. Maybe that is why I love her. I gaze at her as she watches the sun set in the horizon. God, she's beautiful and she isn't even wearing any make up.

"I know you're looking at me. I know how pretty I am, but do stop it. I'm getting creeped out." She likes it though.

"If you say so." Turning my attention to the sunset and the can of soda.

"Love, let's go home now. I think I'm tired of eating too much takoyaki and book shopping."

"Kiss me first just like the sun kisses the horizon." I smiled cockily.

"What the hell?" Her voice softened and whispered," The universe favors our kisses when we do it privately, I owe you one make-out scene. Just not out here ok?"

And that made me love her even more. Innocent as a rose yet bright as the sun. I love her, and God knows how much I do.

Life is bound to have ups and downs whether there is a person to carry life with. All people have their own burdens. Some knows how to handle it well and some are a mess. As time pass by, lovers have their own catastrophes. Seeing your partner feeling depressed and distant will always make you feel the same way. That's the time where we rethink of what had happened. An oil spill of emotions gets us all stuck in that situation until we clean it out.

I knocked on her door, a tub of ice cream in hand. She opened it few seconds and welcomed me in with a sullen face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked as I pull her in for a hug. Knowing that a hug is what she needed and knowing that it is her favorite pill.

She didn't respond and burst into tears as she eats the ice cream I bought. I kissed her forehead and hushed her until she fell asleep in my arms. I watch her sleep and couldn't help but worry of what is it that she isn't telling me.

The next morning as soon as I woke up, I noticed she's not wrapped around my arms anymore but cooking some omelets. I smiled, knowing that she feels a bit better and it did feel like a good sign that she's cooking my favorite breakfast. I hugged her from behind but there was still no response, I let it pass knowing she must've had a tough time. I don't want to pry for answers.

We ate breakfast normally. She was smiling and talking. So, I asked her what's wrong but her mood changed. The next thing I knew, she is pushing me away with bottled up emotions that I knew she can never hide from me. Furious, I did what I was told. Thinking why the hell did she push me out? And what the fuck was her problem that she couldn't even tell me?

I knew I should've understood her and comforted her, but I guess my anger took over. As soon as I calmed down, I went back to her apartment. Much to my dismay, I was too late. Her warm apartment turned into a cold empty room. I stood where the couch had once taken place and saw a letter by the loose floor board where she would put her stash of Maltesers, Mars Bars and KitKats. It was meant for me as soon as I saw her beautiful handwriting.

I felt tears streamed down my face just as hers when she wrote this letter. I screamed as loud as I could while thumping my fist in the floor boards. I finally came to the part where I buried my face on my knees as I cry my grief away. Knowing for a fact that the love of my life had slipped away from my fingers forever.

Taking all hope and dreams away, she left me lost in the dark. Lost in the dark and away from every single light of reality that was her.

Morning came,  I was awakened by the sudden creak of the door as it opened. I stood up bracing myself that it might be her that came back and tell me she wants me back. I couldn't help but grasp upon the idea that she's coming back for me, knowing that the light house lights up again to guide the lost ship that I was. 

I was expectant of her. Maybe even desperate.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know- Oh my God! What happened to you?" It wasn't her, but she treated the wound I got from all the rage release last night.