Feelings Within The Rain {{MewGulf}}

☂ Chapter 12 ☂

"it's because you got used to being with him all the time, you are just yourself when you are alone with him, but when smth serious happens, that's when you will start to notice yourself"

"you will get jealous of other people touching him" brother said

"you will want to keep him by your side all day long"

"just don't be too possessive"

"he will be more important than anyone and anything for you"

"you will even start imagining and even planning for your future together"

"wait maybe you already feel all that now, just ask yourself, don't you want to be with him all day?" sister asked

"how do you feel when you see him happy? Or sad? Or troubled?" I looked down searching answers inside me, answers that were floating on the surface all this time

"do you care about him? Do you respect him? And mostly do you trust him?"

"did you experience all those new feelings with someone else before? If not that proves that he is different from everyone else" I kept looking to my lap not finding the words to express myself, I kept getting confused but felt closer to discovering my feelings, my brother pated on my shoulder

"real love is the sweetest, most tender feeling so take your time opening your heart"

"if you truly love him you will accept everything about him, his past, his flaws and him himself" my sister finished as I nodded understanding them, once I got back I sat by room's window watching the cloudy dark sky answering my siblings questions

I want to be with Gulf all the time, his presence became like water in my life, even now I'm holding myself back from going to his place. When he is happy, I feel relieved and contented, when I saw him looking sad, I felt bitter and wanted to comfort him, to hold him tightly and assure him that everything is fine, when he is troubled, I will do my best to help him, the same goes for me, when I'm happy I can't wait to share my happy news with him, if I'm down I'd like to be with him, just his presence sooth me and when I'm troubled I'd talk to him, he could have a good ideas on how to solve those troubles and help me.

I've met him 5 months ago, I did hate him at first but after getting to know him, I found myself more comfortable around him, I started to actually care about Gulf as if he is a part of my family, I also respect him, I respect everything about him, his work, his life and I slowly found myself trusting him, I feel so safe with him, I even let him take all kind of embarrassing pictures of me because I know he will never share them with anyone.

I never felt like this with anyone before, many tried to approach me but I never got interested in them, I was curious about love and dating but no one caught my attention, except my family, I'm always on my guard even around my manager, all my friends and co-actors are careful with me, but Gulf was different from the beginning, he acted naturally, he is honest and straightforward, he was so normal with me as if I'm not a famous person.

One thing I also noticed, I never got the urge to touch anyone before, at some point I started to believe that I'm both aromantic and asexual and started to give up on those things yet since I met Gulf, I remember myself starring at his lips, they captivated me for some reason and slowly I started wanting to touch him, to feel his warmth, to stay close to him and feel his skin, I can't deny that I even find his body so alluring... because of him I turned into a pervert, well, it's better than being cold I guess

However, I've never felt jealous, I've seen him surrounded my many people during filming and parties but I honestly felt nothing, I don't understand the possessive thing that my sister mention and imagining a future with him... I just can't, I'm enjoying my time with him now and that's what matters for me.