A Seeker Betrayed

10. Is It Love?

Soft white light scattered across the stone floor and the soft chirping sound of nighttime creatures filled the air. Even so, the room was humid, and hot, and A'Gahtay swayed gently, like a pendulum.

His bound hands were tingling and his shoulders were taking a lot of his weight. It fucking hurt.

He strained to keep some semblance of balance. He was tipped forward, his wrists tied at his back and pulled into the air behind him so he was forced to stand on the balls of his feet. He wanted to put his heels down, but his shoulders hurt enough already — there was no slack left in the suspension line so flattening his feet meant pulling disagreeably hard on his hands and hurting his shoulders. It was impossible to hold still and as he moved, he rotated.

He turned towards the doorway, and there was quiet for a few seconds, then the rustle of cloth as Tellurin came through the entrance and grinned at him. A'Gahtay was still rotating and he could see from the side as Gamman's best friend made his way to a bench off in a corner and sat down.

The sound of rustling continued from the doorway, and then Sur'ten also sat. That left Gamman.

Gamman padded in, his soft leather boots making no sound as he crossed the floor.

A'Gahtay had to strain to look up at him. He loved the reddish tint that accented his lover's light brown hair and he could see that Gamman had tied his soft, shaggy mane behind his head. A thin leather cord doubled twice around his neck and held a trident pendant from the bottom strand. The small pendant sat gently in the thin veil of body hair that the ken loved so much to touch. It glinted in the light as he moved and drew attention to the musculature of his upper torso. The sharp tips of the trident angled together and pointed downward, towards the closure of the rust-colored leather breeches that hugged tightly against his hips. The laces that were knotted through the closure sat just below where the mat of fur on his pelvis began to thicken.

Despite the distracting pain in his shoulders, A'Gahtay imagined pushing his fingertips through the fur and unlacing the leather. The same thought, when it crossed his mind in idle times at night, always turned him on.

This time it didn't. Gamman had never meted out a punishment this harsh before. Usually it was an assortment of whips, with some pinching and slapping and verbal teasing. Stinging pain and verbal humiliation — A'Gahtay could overcome that, with the right stimulation. At the moment though, the pain was intense, and he just wanted down.

Gamman moved behind him. "Look at that pretty ass... Sur'ten, peel his britches down for me."

"Glad to." Immediately, the other ken was up and running his hands up and down the outside of A'Gahtay's thighs. "This boy has such creamy skin, and such a sweet crack." His hands came up to the waistband and he tugged.

All of A'Gahtay's weight was thrown to his shoulders. "Owww..." he complained.

He opened his eyes to find Gamman standing near his face, unlacing his pants. "You're not to play with Shamahan anymore, understand?"

It hurt, but A'Gahtay realized he had better make his feelings clear now, or it might be too late. "Why? I'm not going to sit and wait around for you if you're out with someone else."

Gamman stopped playing with his pants and grabbed the ken's hair. "You're not in a position to make demands."

"Then I don't want to play anymore."

Tellurin whistled. "Told you so," he said.

A'Gahtay's heart raced. He heard the sneer in Tellurin's tone and it bothered him. When Gamman stepped away he panicked and said, "Wait."

"Wait? What is it?"

"I do want to play." Utter silence was the only response. He wobbled and it hurt, and tears dripped from his eyes.

"Do you love me?" Gamman asked.

For A'Gahtay 'love' was not a word to use lightly. He didn't have people to love. His family had apparently sold him when he was four, and as a ken who was a foreigner, there was no lasting love to be had with his friends here.

His mind knew it, but his heart had a different response.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Put his feet down," Gamman said, and in just moments the ken's heels were back on the floor. "Get the leg wraps off."

He was swiftly released at the knees and ankles but A'Gahtay stood still, wanting to change his stance but wanting even more the permission to do so.

He was rewarded with praise. "You're my sweetest boy." Gamman, who had crouched to remove bindings from his ankles, was still underneath him and he looked up into A'Gahtay's face with a patient expression.

It was too much, and A'Gahtay started to cry. And once he started, he couldn't stop.

"Shhh," Gamman rose from underneath and held his head. "Bring his arms down for now." To A'Gahtay he said, "Shhh... you've never cried on me before. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

A'Gahtay leaned into him and sobbed, gasping down air between violent bursts of wailing. How many others had cried in front of this man? He tried getting words out but after several attempts all he could get out was, "I..."

Gamman rubbed his shoulders and wrapped his hands around the back of his head, nuzzling in his hair.

Finally, with a shaky voice, A'Gahtay got it out. "I want you so much," and then he was overwhelmed with crying again.

"Ahhh," Gamman said, holding him close and kissing the top of his head. "Shhh. Your punishment isn't over yet, you naughty ken." A'Gahtay pressed against him and noticed the longer he was held, the less he felt like crying, and when he looked up, Gamman's eyes lit up and he suddenly seemed amused.

"I'm not letting you off easily. You might not like how I do it, but I value you. No playing with Shamma without permission." A'Gahtay felt him smoothing his hair and he shut his eyes.

"Your face is a slobbery mess. Let's get you cleaned up, then we'll play some more."