A box of Chocolates

The Christmas Tree

"Tomorrow we will build your Christmas tree, ok Mili?"

"Nobody builds a Christmas tree on Christmas day. You are supposed to do it at least a day before so that on Christmas eve night, Santa can sneak in and drop some gifts. Santa won't find his way to our house because we don't have a tree, and we didn't put up lights." Mili replied gingerly, before going back to fiddling with her phone, as she lay next to Akash, who was watching a movie on his laptop.

"We might get some discounts this year, because of the Pandemic, you know. I am sure Santa understands, and he will consider for a cute girl like you!"

Sometimes it annoyed Mili, how Akash could sweet talk his way out of anything. Why couldn't he just sit down and make one, instead of giving her sugar coated excuses, that too when she had already asked over 10 times, something she never did. Once refused, she never asked for the same thing again. Akash was probably the only exception.

"No you don't get it. Everyone is posting their Christmas pics with the tree. My Facebook wall is sparkling with Christmas lights. We are the most boring couple I know of."

"What happened to the book you started yesterday, why don't you read it instead of wasting your time on Facebook."

And that was just enough to push Mili over the edge. She abruptly put the phone down, turned off the reading lamp and turned over to her left, tearing herself away from Akash in one sweeping motion, leaving him feeling confused and guilty.

He kept his laptop aside and gently put an arm over Mili, "I am sorry, I shouldn't have lectured you, I just...Do what makes you happy Mili...and yes, we'll definitely get the tree tomorrow." When Mili didn't respond, he began running his hand through her hair affectionately.

These days Mili often failed to make sense of the thoughts running through her mind. Like being tugged and yanked in opposite directions, she felt torn and tormented by her conflicting emotions. She loved her kind and caring husband, but she also felt these unexplained surges of anger towards him. All of a sudden, in the middle of a normal day, she'd be overcome with acute despair, like all hope had drained from her life, like all air had been sucked out of her lungs, and she'd withdraw herself emotionally from her surroundings, including Akash. But then just a few hours later, the sadness would lift like a cloud, leaving her utterly perplexed. This roller coaster ride had come to become an everyday reality for her, yet owing to the absurdity that surrounded it, she couldn't share it with anyone.

Akash continued to stroke her hair. From the corner of her eyes Mili saw the lights going out. She had made Akash drop the movie, what would have been his only source of entertainment after a long tiring day. He only had a day off on Christmas, unlike her, who had the luxury of a 2 week long vacation thanks to her generous employer. For the major part of the day she had been resting and lazily reading a new book, while Akash had been juggling work with home search. After having lived in a rented apartment for 3 years, they had recently began shopping for a home, and it  ate a lot of their time looking for properties, submitting offers (none had been accepted so far given how competitive the market was) and repeat the same over and over again. Even today, in the midst of work, while it was cold and raining outside, Akash had squeezed in some time during his lunch break for them to tour another property.

When Mili thought about it calmly, Akash really didn't have the time to sit and build the Christmas tree as she had accused him of, nor was he creative or artsy like her to have come up with an innovative idea in minutes. She felt a pang of guilt. Mili turned over to Akash's side and hid her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. Tears started streaming down Mili's face, soaking Akash's shirt. He wiped them, but they kept coming and he wiped them again.