A box of Chocolates

A Circle and a Square - Part 1

"Kriti...Kriti.."

"KRITI..", Dishan yelled, drawing the attention of those standing around.

Dishan's shrill voice cut through the thick white fog that had come to settle in her head and refused to leave like an overstayed guest, to shake Kriti up. Caught off guard, she blinked and shook her head reflexively, partly in surprise, partly in a nervous acknowledgement.

"Why did you drag me out this early in the morning, if had no intentions of opening your mouth at all ?"

Kriti tried to recall, had she actually dragged Dishan out? She couldn't tell for sure. It felt like a blur, the incidents from the morning, as recent as 40 minutes ago. Again the damn white fog began to obscure her vision.

"When you are with YOUR OFFICE FRIENDS, you can't stop giggling, but the moment you are with me, you clam up like you've seen a snake.. What's going on with you? " That eerie feeling from being stared at by strangers was making Kriti uncomfortable. Now that Dishan had her attention, he didn't have to continue screaming at her, not this early in the morning when most of the world was still peacefully asleep and not at least at this roadside tea stall amidst a dozen of scary looking truck drivers.

"Can we please go home and talk?" Kriti urged under her breath in a meek whisper.

"Talk at home ?" Dishan smirked bitterly. "Fuck it man! What time is a good time to talk to you? At least I haven't seen any in the last three months." Dishan was still loud enough for the bystanders at the tea stall to hear him clearly, making a spectacle of what should have been a private moment between them. "I am not walking another 45 mins, I am taking a cab" he continued as he unlocked his phone and opened the Uber app to book a ride back home.

Kriti felt an intense urge to slap him across the face, but couldn't as much as move her fingers. She stood there still like a wooden doll, too embarrassed to look up at the prying eyes and too weak to disregard Dishan and start walking towards home. A home that had begun to feel like a cage.

**

What had gotten into her? Or him?

There was complete silence during the 10 minutes ride to home. But neither tried to initiate a conversation even after reaching home. Work was the easiest excuse to avoid a confrontation. Kriti quickly retreated to her work desk in one of the spare bedrooms in their spacious 3 bedroom apartment and Dishan brought his laptop over to the dining table.

The evening was relatively calm too, thanks to the ongoing IPL series. Dishan was glued to the TV, leaving Kriti with more than a few hours of uninterrupted solitude. Kriti sat in the hanging chair in the balcony. From there she could see a faint silhouette of Dishan on the couch. This was a comfortable setting for Kriti, to not have Dishan beathing down her neck, but still within her range of vision to keep an eye on his moves. It was like they were playing a game of hide and seek. Not they though, just her... she was the one hiding.

And this is the part that puzzled her the most. Who or what was she hiding from? Where was the excitement of being a newly wedded bride or the comfort that one usually feels with a partner they have dated since high school. Instead what was this nervous energy she felt around Dishan all the time.

Most of her colleagues were enjoying this once in a lifetime 'Lockdown' with their spouses, especially those like her that didn't have children. Working from home without the daily commute plus the social isolation that this unfortunate situation had brought upon the world, many were calling this a honeymoon in disguise.

But her relationship with Dishan had progressively disintegrated over the last couple of months. Before March, they hardly spent any time together owing to their busy schedules. Weekdays went by fast, and weekends too were tolerable as every other weekend they would have an invitation to a party or picnic or a wedding.

But now that stepping out wasn't allowed and they were stuck with each other 24*7, she felt claustrophobic in that house. She realized she didn't enjoy living with Dishan even as a flatmate, let alone as a spouse.

Was it indeed her fault? What was wrong with her? Why didn't she feel affectionate towards him anymore? Had she fallen out of love with him, and indeed made it hard for him by blocking all modes of communication?

The closer Dishan came to her, the farther she wanted to run. He had been right this morning, there was never a good time to talk, because she dreaded talking to him.

Yes, there were things she didn't like about him, but were they enough to wipe out 10 years' worth of love?