Anti-Dimension: A Phineas and Ferb fanfic

Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion

Doofenshmirtz turned to face the alarm clock and waited. Just a few more seconds... he thought eagerly. The alarm was only halfway through its first beep when Dr. D.'s hand shot out from under his blankets and turned it off. "Ha!" he shouted with triumph as he sprang out of bed. "Today I got the jump on you!"

    "Morning, dad!" Norm said suddenly, causing Doofenshmirtz to spin around in fright.

    "But no matter how hard I try you always seem to get the jump on me! And how many times have I told you not to call me 'dad?'"

    "Approximately twelve-hundred seventy-six times."

    "Wow I didn't know you kept track-"

    "This week."

    "What?"

    "You told me not to call you dad twelve-hundred seventy-six times this week."

    "I know that! When I said 'what' you weren't supposed to answer!"

    "But 'what' is a form of a question."

    "I know! I know! But I meant-you know what? Never min-"

    "No, please explain the 'what' you are refferring to!"

    "Why is it so hard for you to understand human behavior?"

    "I don't know, dad, you're the one who programmed me."

    "Okay now you're just being mean. Well since you have obviously anticipated the time I'll be waking up I'm assuming you already made scrambled eggs with the eggshells left inside?"

    "I did make scrambled eggs but today I made them the way you like them."

    "Hey! You are learning! Maybe I was too hard on you-"

    "With extra crunch!"

    "Never mind! For a highly advanced machine that runs on squirrel power you are pretty much brainless."

    "Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you yesterday! My squirrel needs to be replaced!" Norm opened his stomach to show a very tired squirrel just walking instead of running like it was supposed to be.

    "Well that explains why you seem more incompetent than usual. You need to be recharged. Tell you what-"

    "Again with the word 'what.'"

    "Are you done?"

    "Yes."

    "Well after breakfast we'll head down to the park and search the trees for a fresh squirrel."

    "Hooray! Thanks da-I mean Dr. Doofenshmirtz."

    "Yeah, yeah. I'm a swell guy." Doofenshmirtz began to change out of his night shirt but stopped when he saw that Norm was still staring at him. "Um...Norm? Can you turn around? You're kind of creeping me out." Norm spun in the other direction without saying a word. "So is everything ready for the family reunion today?"

    "The Goozim was delivered earlier this morning."

    "Great! Now we just have to get everything set before the relatives get here. We haven't had a Doofenshmirtz Family Reunion in years. Oh I can't wait to see what Marie and Thomas will think of their first time meeting all of their cousins from Drusselstein!"

    "I thought they already attended one of your family reunions!"

    "Yes but they were babies then. They won't remember. That's why we're gonna give them and the rest of our cousins, aunts, uncles, and nieces and nephews the best reunion ever!"