23; Car rides, emotions, and trouble

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Violet

"Still no reply?" Josh glances at me from behind the wheel.

I sigh, putting my phone back in my bag. "Nope." I had been constantly trying to get a reach of Zayn all morning but he hadn't once replied, and I was starting to give up. I know we didn't leave things on the best note but it still hurt me a little knowing that Zayn was just purposely avoiding me.

"He'll call," Josh assures me, turning a sharp corner. "Don't worry about it."

I offer a small smile and lean my head against the back of the passenger seat. "Yeah, I guess."

It wasn't that I doubted Josh's words but rather Zayn's actions. I wasn't really sure what he was capable of anymore, or where I stood. It made me upset just thinking about it so I tried to push the whole thing completely out of my mind.

"So, where to from here?" I asked as Josh drove us out of the city.

"Uh, well, that's your job," he replies.

I raise my eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I need you to read the map to give me directions."

I laugh at him. "You're that clueless on where to go?"

He blushes a little. "Insanely clueless."

I push open his glovebox and search around for his map, pulling it open and struggling to make sense of everything displayed. "Uh, right. Okay. I think you need to head east."

"East?" Josh repeats. "As in, this turn right here?"

I study the map harder. Map reading has never been a quality skill of mine. "Is that Church Rd? Yes, go down there."

"Alright, I'm trusting you." Josh chuckles as he makes the left turn.

It's silent for a few seconds before he speaks again, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.

"So, you ever been to Oxfordshire before?"

"Once," I reply. "When I was younger. I don't remember the trip much. You?"

Josh shakes his head. "I've always wanted to go though, so this should be exciting." He looks at me briefly. "I'm glad you're with me also."

I smile warmly as I look out the window at all the passing trees. "Me too."

-------

"Did you know that Zayn is with Emma?" I ask Josh about twenty minutes into our trip.

He stiffens slightly but keeps his gaze focused ahead. "I wasn't aware they were friends."

I roll my eyes. "They're best friends," I counter.

"Are you sure? I guess that would make sense, they seem similar."

I fiddle around with the buttons on my skirt as I speak, trying to distract myself from all the things I'm thinking. "That's what the fight was about," I tell Josh. "Last night."

"What happened?"

I sigh, not really knowing myself. "He got upset that I was going out with you, and he didn't seem phased at all that he was doing the same with Emma."

Josh hesitates for a second, focusing on driving. "I'm sorry," he finally says. "I didn't mean to drive a wedge between you two."

Suddenly I'm mad, because this is no one's fault but Zayn's. And I suddenly have a lot of things on my mind that I want to say aloud.

"You know what I'm sick of?" I cry, not waiting for Josh's answer. "I'm sick of Zayn treating me like I have no control over myself. I am so sick of him thinking that he owns me, thinking he can tell me what to do. And I am just so damn sick of him always being in the right when lately he's been in nothing but the wrong. He doesn't get to do this to me. We have been through far too much for him to just throw it all away now."

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