Band aids ~TsukiHina~

~10~

~Hinata~

It's been a couple of days since I apologised to Tsukishima and I haven't heard from him since. It really shouldn't be bothering me as much as it is, considering he rarely ever talks to me anymore (which I totally deserve, in case you needed reminding) and it's only been two days but still, it's worrying me. When I apologised, he asked me why I was bothering and told me that it's ok, that all he ever wanted was me to be honest with him, but what if that's not true? What if he's still mad at me? I mean duh, of course he's still mad at me. I emotionally manipulated him and he clearly still remembers that. That's not the point though. The point is that he could've lied to me, wouldn't that be ironic, to get me to go away. Maybe he doesn't actually forgive me for spilling everything out that one time; maybe he just wanted me to leave.

I'm never drinking alcohol again. You think I'm kidding? I've never been more serious in my damn life. It wasn't the first time I've drank, by a long shot. I'm not a high schooler anymore. Hell, even when I was in high school, I can't tell you the number of times Kageyama and I got absolutely hammered after practice. We used to invite Yachi and Yamaguchi but, with them being a couple, I think you can imagine how that panned out. Mind you, me and Kageyama weren't exactly the best drunk duo ever. He's a very angry drunk and, as you already know, I'm a very sad drunk so it was just a lot of me crying about random things that had hapened and him screaming at me for being sad and then I'd cry even harder because drunk me can't handle someone doing as much as raising their voice and, to be honest, it was all just one big mess. It passed the time though and, honestly, without alcohol I never would've got through my final year.

But all of that's gone now, I've decided. No drinking in college and potentially no drinking for the rest of my life. Alcohol does no good; it only makes pre-existing problems worse. It doesn't matter what Tsukishima said because I'm going to keep worrying that he lied and you can't stop me doing that. Sorry not sorry.

I'm lying on my bed and looking up at the ceiling right now, the same thing I've been doing all day. I can't stop thinking over this. I can't just let it rest in my mind and it's really starting to annoy me. I think it's starting to annoy Kindaichi to; he's been staring at me for at least twenty minutes. Does he not have anything better to do then judge me? I can see him out of the corner of my eye. Why isn't he looking away. "...why are you looking at me?"

His eyebrows raise and he rolls his eyes. "Why do you think? You've been in that same position all day; it's creepy." He sighs. Don't you sigh at me! It's not your life, it's mine and who are you to question how I'm choosing to live it? "I don't understand why you're so bothered about this. Even if he is lying about forgiving you, with what you did to him in high school you're lucky he's even talking to you."

Well, I can't say he's wrong but it's still none of his business and I'm hardly in the mood to be called out right now so I'm going to stay mad at him. "Oh shut up, you don't get to dictate my mood."

"Whatever, I'm going out." He rolls his eyes again, like he doesn't know any other reaction, and walks out of the dorm. Well to be honest I'm glad he's gone. I can be sad by myself now and I see that as a positive. I only get to enjoy the silence for a second before my phone starts buzzing. I recognise that tone, someone's trying to face time me. I answer without even really looking at who's calling me. "What do you want?"

"Ouch Sho, that's cold." Whoops, it's Yachi. I didn't mean to be rude to her! I'm just in a bad mood. "I was just calling to check on how you were but if it's a bad time-"

"No no it's ok!" I feel really bad now. Yachi's my best friend, I really don't want to make her upset! "I'm just... not in the greatest of moods right now." She tilts her head, asking me why, so I sigh and explain. "Basically, I apologised to Tsukishima the other day and he accepted it and at the time that was fine, I didn't really think about it, but now it's really stressing me out because he might've been lying about forgiving me to get me to go away and honestly I wouldn't blame him for that and it would be kind of ironic for him to lie right back to me after what I did but it's confusing and it's making me really stressed."

She laughs to herself, seeming to have cheered up again. "You really do love to overthink things, huh? It's probably not as deep as you're making it out to be. I doubt he'd lie about forgiving you if he actually didn't. If he was still annoyed at you, knowing Tsukishima he'd tell you exactly how he felt and then tell you to fuck off."

I smile a little, a small laugh escaping my lips. "I guess so... why do you always know what to say?"

"Because I'm both your best friend and your voluntary therapist." She giggles.

I snort. "That's a good point... It's been a hot second since we last met up, you should come and visit soon. Break's in a week for us, you could come up for a day or two then if you want. Maybe invite Yamaguchi and Kageyama to?" I don't get to see my old high school friends face to face very often anymore, having moved four hours away from Miyagi for college. It sucks but we call each other to stay in touch.

She smiled. "Alright, I'm down. I'll ask the others right now, be right back." She hung up. Ooh fun, a day with Yachi and maybe the other two! This is going to be such fun!

~Hello hello! I have returned from my three week hiatus with only one exam left to go (which by the time this goes up I have already done). Thank you so much for sticking around! It means so much to me to have you guys here. I genuinely cried at like half past midnight when I read the comments on the chapter announcing the break. Thanks for supporting Countdown and Band aids! Hopefully I won't be going on a break again for a while.~