Ace's bullshit story in blood gulch

Shit music

Sarge, Ace and Grif were talking in red base but Donut came short after.

Grif: Great idea sir, I finally agree with you.

Donut: Hey guys, we might have a problem here. Somebody, and I'm not gonna say who, might have though that one of the cyborg parts we needed for Simmons' surgery, was a cup holder. And somebody, not naming any names here, might have left it, along with their favorite smooth jazz compilation CD, in the Warthog. I just don't know who would do such a thing.

Grif and Ace looked at each other.

Ace: Was it you?

Donut: Yeah- uh- no! (clears throat, then lowers voice) I mean, no! ...Dammit!

Sarge: Grif. You, Ace and easy listening stroll on down to retrieve that part from the Warthog, post-haste!

Grif: Sir, do you think it's safe to be outside the base right now? For all we know, the blues could have already fixed their tank. They could be advancing on us as we speak.

Sarge: Ah, corn dogs. Even with Lopez helpin' 'em, it'll take them months to get that tank online, much less to get it movin' again.

Sarge: Ah, corn dogs. Even with Lopez helpin' 'em, it'll take them months to get that tank online, much less to get it movin' again.

Grif, and Ace and Donut ran outside to the Warthog.

Grif: Well are you sure you left the part in there?

Donut: Hmm think so. Wait... Yes. No. Wait- wait wait- wait... mmmmmmmmngh... I think so.

Grif: (sighs) Alright, let's retrace your steps. You said it was the Tuesday before Simmons, Ace and Sarge got blown up that you were last in the Warthog, right?

Donut: Right. I know it was Tuesday because that's the day I wash my underwear. And since I don't like to let my armour touch my bare skin, on account of I chafe, really easily, I remember thinking: where can I hang out with no pants on?

Grif: Oh God!

Ace: Why me?

After a few minutes of Donut talking about his weird day.

Grif: I cannot take any more of this.

Ace: Kill me now.

Donut: So after I clipped my toenails, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended, but I don't know- it just smelled really funny. So, I decided to taste it, just to make sure it was safe.

Grif: That's it; I'm committing suicide. (runs off)

Ace: Please don't leave me.

Donut: Hey... I didn't finish retracing my steps yet. You don't even know what I did about the boil on my thigh.

Grif: (turns) Oh crap!

Ace then see's Grif run back.

Grif: (turns) Oh crap!

Donut: Hey, you're back! So where was I... Oh yeah. I lanced it. Disgusting. Woohohoha. Noohohaha.

Grif: Not now rookie! There's a giant tank out there that's about to steam roll right over us!

Donut/Ace: What!? 

Donut then jumps twice to see over the jeep, sees the tank. 

Donut: Oh God it's true! I'm totally freakin' out! I'm freaking out!  

Donut: Well guys, it looks like this is the end for us. Since we're gonna die anyway, there's only one thing left for us to do. Grif, Ace-

Grif: If you actually suggest what I think you're about to suggest, I'll just have to kill myself.