Ace's bullshit story in blood gulch

We must rebuild

We open with the gang in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. Sarge, Dount and Caboose are looking around for anything useful while Griff, Simmons, Ace and Tucker where standing around. Doing what they always do talking. 

Grif: They destroyed it all, guys, those damn stupid bastards. They blew it all up! Damn them! Damn them to Hell! Those damn dirty apes!   

Ace rolled his eyes as he stud next to Simmons who was on his left while Tucker was on his right.

Simmons: Calm down Grif, we don't know that the whole world is like this.

Grif: Yes it is, they destroyed it all. I guess the society of men just wasn't meant to survive.

Simmons: Hey how 'bout this: how 'bout we explore, more than two square miles, before we jump to any conclusions.

Grif: It was definitely nuclear weapons, that's what did it. And the explosions caused massive power outages which caused the failsafe to fail, which released a super bacteria from a secret lab.

Simmons: Oh come on.

Ace: How does a bacteria become super bacteria, was it bit by a radioactive bacteria or some shit?

Grif: I dont have time to get into the science of it Ace!

Ace: We have all the time in the world dumbass. According to you the world ended which means there nothing to do.

Grif had no comeback so he continued.

Grif: Anyway that caused a huge plague, and as the victims died, they rose from the dead twelve hours later to roam the Earth and feast on human flesh.

Simmons: What?

Ace: Jesus christ.

Grif: A handful of gritty survivors from all walks of life were able to keep the legions of the infected radioactive undead at bay, using only their wits, and an inexplicable comprehension of agricultural science and engineering. Everything was looking good... and that's when the meteor hit.

Simmons: I think you just quoted every crappy Hollywood apocalypse movie ever.

Tucker: Naw. Hollywood doesn't understand apocalypse. They think that just one thing from everyday life goes away and that changes everything. Like in Road Warrior it was gas, and in Waterworld it was land.

Simmons: What went away in The Matrix?

Tucker: Sunlight.

Grif: I thought the missing element was plot.

Ace: He's talkin about Matrix One.

Simmons: Oh right.

Grif: Face it Simmons, the age of man is done.

Simmons: If all that happened, then were are the zombies? Why aren't they still around?

Grif: The meteor killed them!

Simmons: And what about the super bacteria?

Grif: It was infected by alien bacteria brought by the meteor, and was wiped out in a massive bacteria on bacteria plague. Very ironic.

Simmons: Okay, then why haven't we been infected by the new alien bacteria?

Grif: It only infects other bacteria. Are you even listening to me?

Ace: Yeah god Simmons have you not been paying attention god.

Grif: What now your my side.

Ace: I never said i wasn't i was just calling you a dumbass.