- notice: this chapter was edited regarding some typos and grammar, the plot is still the same. -
"Even when I tightly shut my eyes, I sleep dreamlessly" ♬⚘♬⚘♬
"Hey hyung did you find it-" Jisung came in, surprised to see Chan opening the bag filled with his medicine.
"Yeah,, I found that..." Chan said, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry i looked, I'll go now.." Chan said awkwardly and left.
Chan left the room in tears, he didn't know what to feel, who to tell, but most importantly he was disappointed at himself as a leader. As a leader he wanted to keep everyone happy and healthy, but to him, he failed, guilt hit him harder than it ever did as he began to let the hot fresh tears flow onto his face.
The four, Chan, Minho, Changbin, and Seungmin, made codes, secret codes like; Cheetos: Bad mood, Cheetos puffs: Happy, Jalapeño Cheetos: Sad, Flaming hot Cheetos: Depressed. [my love for Cheetos is showing]
"Jisu- What? No, no, no, it can't be." He said as he paced back and forth pulling his raven locks tightly.
"Why didn't I notice?"
Changbin thought the boy was sad, but he never had thought how serious it actually was, and now that he heard it, guilt basically is eating him alive. For the first time in years, he wanted to cry, not because of happiness anymore, but a mix of guilt and disappointment. He sat on the couch, his elbows on his laps, his head rested on his palms as tears of guilt flowed down his cheeks. The two then decided to head to the studio so they could talk with more privacy.
Jisung at this time was in the bathroom, feeling so stupid for letting his secret out. He punched the wall a few times, banged his head on the wall, and now he decided to grab the razor in the cupboard. The blonde grabbed the razor and pressed it on his skin harshly, creating long red streaks that bled uncontrollably. Once he was done, he cleaned up the bathroom floor and threw away the tissues in the trash bin, putting the bloody side downwards and the white side upwards. The blond then picked up his black hoodie and wore it.
>>the next day because I just reread the previous chapters for editing and noticed it was still in the same day<<
Jisung got out of his room, his blonde hair looking like a birds nest, his hoodie all scrunched up, and his face deflated, his cheeks were no longer there.
"Jisung, breakfast?" The leader asked with a smile.
"No thanks, I'm going to head to the company early today." The younger said as he quickened his steps towards the bathroom.
He opened the water and felt the like warm water stream down his skin, feeling a stinging sensation soon afterwards. The boy freshened up for today, feeling weirdly normally dizzy and weak, but he didn't mind. He quickly got his stuff for the day and headed to the studio, he then finished up some work and soon found a letter under the notebook he always kept at the studio. Confused, he grabbed the yellow sticky note and read it.
Hey Jisung~~ I quit JYP this morning for one reason and one reason only. I've already passed the time you'll read this. Hangang bridge, you remember right? I dipped my hand in paint and touched the rail on where I jumped. If you miss me, which I think you won't, because we only knew each other for like a day? Well, just look on the handprint and you'll be reminded of me. I almost forgot, I put my signature and date of birth and date of death on there like a little grave or memorial, y'a know? Anyways, I wish you best of luck in your idol activities! And thank you for being my first ever friend~~ -Shawn-
Jisung teared up at the letter, yes they've only talked for a day but Jisung liked him as a friend a lot, he thought that he could trust him, and hang with him when he's at his lowest. But sadly he left. He wiped the tears on his face, his mood dropped even further, if it was even possible.
By now, Jisung felt like his head was being pressed on, it hurt bad but of course he won't tell anyone.
| | Chan | We're at the dance | studio now | now |
Wc: 728 Date: October 26, 2020 >>please excuse any errors or typos<<
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