The Shades of Spring

The Chest of Memories

He was so glad they were away from the crowd when they first held hands.

The ombre room was empty except for a cupboard, a table and two comfy chairs. But neither of them occupied the chairs as they were too busy reigning in the stampeding emotions.
As soon as they were given privacy, they had just stared at eachother and smiled.
Then gently, he reached for her hand and caressed her palms. That was when the crying started.

She covered her mouth and started to cry noiselessly. At first he was shocked that maybe he was too insensitive for not asking her permission. But she smiled. Then cried again. And the cycle went on. When he realised she was crying for happiness, he too started crying and drew her to himself and enveloped her in a tight hug.
How could he describe the feeling? He couldn't put into words the gooseflesh that pimpled his skin, nor the flood of warmth that filled him, or the heart that couldn't stop expanding in joy. He would never be able to put into words his relief that threatened to make his knees weak. Or how it felt to hug her. To hold her close to his heart where he had unknowingly written her name a long time ago.
Perhaps if Sidra tried, some day she may be able to pen those in words. But he couldn't.

"Sidra, here, Hayati. Let's go pray," he rubbed her back.
Smiling and sniffling, she broke away from the hug, held at an arm's length by him. He looked at her lovingly and dropped a soft kiss on her forehead. Then after another shorter hug, they went off to renew their wudhu and pray.
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Hamza spent the whole night talking to Thahani and Sarah. They sat on the terrace with their parents, passing around dishes of snacks while Mas'ud spoke to the men and Amanah about his past.
He was retelling his tragic love story and his fourteen year long wedded life to the most caring woman on earth and how his second marriage had left him afraid about the future of his children.

It was the first time Sarah had heard him talk so openly about a chapter that had much pain written in it. She knew most if not all of what he was telling them, but to hear it under the open sky with a family to listen to it, was vastly different from hearing it over a not-so-enjoyable TV program. She wondered if her father could have spoken about it less alienly if she'd lent him an attentive ear. Ayaan was too small to play his role of the strong son, but she was not. She now loathed herself for locking her herself up after the tragedy.
She cocooned herself in a thick coat of misery, shunning her eager eyed brother who couldn't understand why she no longer had time to sit with him and tell him that things will be okay. Mas'ud tried despite his grief to break his daughter out of the dark room, but she gave him the cold shoulder. She clammed up. And eventually he gave up. On both of them. He expected Ayaan to act just like his sister, not really understanding Ayaan's silence was a product of his little mind's incapability to absorb the situation. He was mute because he couldn't understand. Unlike Sarah who didn't want to understand.

She realised with a pang that none but she had been the reason of her suffering all these year. That she was the reason her brother didn't have a proper family. That her father wasn't happy even with a second marriage because that lady couldn't befriend his children because she didn't give them a chance. She had knotted it all up and lived in her own world too long.

"Sarah?" Thahani questioned.
"Just...I remembered Mama too."
"Oh. She must have been a wonderful person. What was she like?"
Sarah struggled to imagine a picture. "She was kind at heart. Full of laughter. She loved sewing stuff. And...she was as tall in love as in height."
"And I pray she's taller in a station of Jannah."
"Aameen."
"Who looks like her more? You or Ayaan?"
"I do. Physically, I resemble her a lot. We had the same long neck, round limbs, shaped eyebrows. But in virtue, I can never compete with Ayaan."
"He sounds like an amazing young man. Everyone I met has nothing but praise for him. Alhamdulillah."