The Shades of Spring

A Collision of Worlds

Musa was hugely worried about how unhinged Sidra appeared after completely dropping off the radar for two days. She was too happy. She was too light on her feet and absolutely too candid it made him wonder if he was having a mental disorder. Nonetheless, Sidra bustled about with her usual energy and readiness to help anyone and everyone she met.

This new shift of phase left them with many many questions which were accidentally answered by a little boy who came in search of her to the third floor one afternoon. Hammad was looking for Sidra because he refused to believe in all the rumours circulating the school building about his mentor and he wanted to hear with his own ears that her absence was permanent and that she had in fact left without telling him. But destiny had it such that, he found Kevin instead and after confirming he was a close friend of his teacher, innocently blurted his story and was swiftly taken to the woman whose playful eyes dimmed when it met his. Leaving the teacher-student pair to sort things out between themselves, Kevin broke the news to Hafsa first and then Musa who both appeared shocked by the reveal. Here they were sharing their good news with her and she too being fully supportive and happy while behind that bright smile, an empire had fallen into ruins.
But none of them had the courage to speak to her about it; she had kept her secret by choice.
______________

Hammad descended the stairs with higher spirits than he was in when he climbed up. His teacher promised to attend his awards ceremony even though she was no longer in school. He was a trifle happier to hear the rumours were all false and his beloved teacher had not been sacked for any fault, but she left Wisdom because she had bigger commitments at home. He had no idea what commitments meant, but by the sounds of it, it felt important.

Skipping the last few steps like a slinky, he looked up and waved at Sidra with a smile that could have lit up the whole entire world. Not once did he imagine she wouldn't turn up and that she was already imploring Allah to give her a reason she couldn't avoid. Anything, please Allah...

Her eyes followed his back till he disappeared through the kiddies door with another wave, then it wandered aimlessly till it came to rest on an ardent reader whose eyes were downcast in full attention to the novel he read. His eyebrows were knit in concentration, his lips pulled into a tight frown disapproving of the story line and his red nose was constantly dabbed with a tissue. It sort of made her squint the way the chandelier lights played on his features; accentuating the sharp edges of half his face and sinking the other half in gloom while he remained unaware of the ethereal image he was searing in the memory of anyone else watching from her angle. But her focus wasn't on any of it, it rested on his gaze that flitted to another man just walking by, his bald head held down.
With the curiousity of a bird watcher observing a rare species of bird, she noted the slight alteration in his posture and the minute shift of interest in John's direction. Again, she wondered what made him dislike John so much, it made his features sour on sight.

After watching John pass by without a single word, he returned to his book with a nonchalant shrug and a brief quirk of his eyebrow. Again, he seemed to detect something, making him look right up at her. They nodded acknowledgement at each other and she easily pried her gaze from him, transferring it to Hafsa who bustled by with a nervous glance in her direction.
Too many eyes speaking today, she said to herself.
_______________

Days rolled by without her knowledge as she sank herself deeper and deeper into her own enclosure of thoughts which was guarded by the infamous indestructible diamond bolts. She looked for jobs till she tired herself out and often fell asleep with the laptop still on her lap. It was nearly always Hamza who quietly tiptoed into her room and removed it from her lap, tucking her sheets around her as best he could and sitting there for a minute in silence before leaving her to her privacy. During the dark days of half unemployment, she refused any gesture of help from either of her parents or her sister and brother in law. She persisted she paid for her own tution.
The money I have saved already will pull me through the the next four months, by then, In Sha Allah, I'll have another job too, she used to tell them.

Her mood was begining to settle into routine swings depending on the place and people.

The library couple were soon sidetracked by wedding planning and things involved with it. Sidra's mood improved every time she saw the smile on either of their faces and she helped them pick out a few decos because they insisted on her input. With every day that lapsed, Musa was beginning -for lack of better word- to glow with happiness and a wonderful wonderful shine permanently etch into his irises. Hafsa was even more delightful to watch, with her relentless excitement when the girls were alone and a pretentious calmness when Musa was around. Sidra used it to her advantage, turning everybody's attention to the soon to be husband and wife, and away from the few questions Kevin waylaid her to ask.

Before she knew, Hammad was reminding her of his proud day tomorrow and she turned to Allah more urgently for a good reason to prevent her from stepping back into the building yet.
After his umpteenth reminder to be on time, she waved him farewell and turned to her screen to work, before she was sent for by Peter. She looked for Hafsa, not finding the girl, she resorted to calling in Kevin to cover for her. With an annoyed glance at her empty chair, she left after Kevin informed her Hafsa sneaked into the ladies room to attend a call.

Peter had no regard for her mental health as it so happened. He handed her a long list of to dos and dismissed her to execute the tasks before the day ended; which was only two hours away. On her way up, she ran into Musa who told her to cover for Hafsa because they were both going shopping with their families.
"And she left without telling me?"
"Priorities change, my child. Now be nice to Kevin. He's all you got."
"I am the nicest there is, Son. So nice it's not easy to wrap your head around."
"Yeah. Nicest with a penchant for sarcastic remarks, but whatever."
"I'm never sarcastic. Also, hey, buy me a gift to wrap and give you on the big day."
"Me?" he snorted, "buy a gift for myself just so you can return it to me in public? Have you no sense?"
"I run around with my eyes closed, sense is a foreign concept to me."
_______________

John stormed out of Myrethorne with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Ayaan got up soon after and instinctively followed him, cutting through the crowd pouring out. He stopped a short way behind a side wall and waited till John's Nissan disappeared around the back of the library, cutting past the big, empty, old car park and vanishing into a back road.
_______________

When she reappeared inside the main building, all the lights were on and the glass dome had become a doorway to a sky filled with stars. Mesmerised by the sight she never got enough of, she stopped and watched it, forgetting all her troubles. How beautiful His creation and yet He called humans His best! Lost in a star map, she was nearly knocked over by Ayaan who too was walking with his eyes glued to the circular dome.
She ducked under his arm and he spun on his heel, both of them avoiding collision by centimetres, and then they both proceeded to apologize profusely to each other.

She laughed it off good naturedly and accepted his offer of assisting her to carry the books she had dropped in the near-collision. Soon after, she packed up and walked to the nearest bus stop as she did on nights Hafsa wasn't around, because Hafsa always dropped her home.

The night was cool and silent, with an early twilight twinkling above the passers-by. She phoned her father to ask him where he was, then turned around, pleasantly surprised to see Ayaan standing a little ways off. In almost two years, never had she seen him in the bus stop. But there he was, standing a few metres from her, apparently without a worry in the world.

She turned her attention back to the road of neon street lamps and lit up billboards that advertised every equipment she could think of. She nodded at a lady who boarded a bus that rumbled to a stop before them. Sidra smiled at another girl who commented on the beauty of the sky; in the distance a phone rang. Footsteps quickly followed the ringtone, depositing Ayaan to her right, asking her to speak to Kevin on his phone. Tentatively, she put the call on loudspeaker
"Hello?"
"Sid, hey. Your phone's busy. Where's Hafsa?"
"My God! I forgot to tell you, she went home early."
There was silence on the other end before Kevin's voice returned confusedly at the same time her phone rang with Musa's name. "But her bag is still here..?"
Her wide, terrified eyes clashed with Ayaan's equally wide ones, and he quickly slid the answer button on her phone, putting that too on speaker.
"Assalamu alaikum. Sidra, is Hafsa still with you?"

Panic hit her like a freight train, her knees almost buckled with the force. In matching strides Ayaan and she raced back to the library building with their heartbeats loud as thunderclaps in their ears.