Avatar the Last Airbender - Book 4: Air (The Master of the Lion Turtles)

Chapter Eleven: Understanding Pain

AANG POV

Katara slammed the bedroom door in Aang's face.

Great.

"Katara, sweetie, I'm sorry. You're right. I should have told the King about Nalo's bending abilities but I panicked! I don't know what to do!" He pressed his forehead against the door, as if trying to convey his emotions and feelings telepathically. Katara had always been able to help what he was thinking, surely she could now too? There was silence from the other side of the door. "Katara? Please say something." Aang waited. One. Two. Three. Nothing. 

He turned and slammed his back against the door, sinking downwards to the floor, his knees bent in front of him. His huddled position reminded him of all the nights he had spent crouched in front of a fire, in a forest or by a lake. The fire had always taunted him back then. A reminder not only of the element he couldn't control and the nation that hunted him down, but also of the way his people perished. His people. He left this duty, so they had been taken from him. The spirits punishment he guessed. 

Until this morning, he had been alone. Alone in his bending. Alone in his trauma. Alone in the true understanding of his culture. Sure, the air acolytes existed, but no amount of studying could truly bring back his people's beliefs, ideologies and dreams. He recalled the days leading up to his final battle with Ozai. Everyone around him had told him the only answer was murder. The only answer was to go against everything he was taught. Everything he believed in. Everything he knew. If he had had someone else there, someone like Nalo, would they have told him differently? Yangchen hadn't. Did he make the right decision? Had he endangered everyone with his choices? 

Aang rested his head in his hands. He though his could feel something pushing against the other side of the door. He tried to picture Katara, in a similar position to him, and pushed his emotions through the bamboo door to her. 

Toph and Nalo never came into the house, he guessed they were trying to give them some privacy. He was grateful. He wondered were Zuko and Sokka were right now. They'd need a boys night out when they got back to catch up. The sound children running around outside trickled in through an open window. Aang sighed. One day, he told himself. One day you'll get to have a family and you can be just like everyone else. That hope often brightened his spirits. The hope that he and Katara could have the family that neither of them ever fully experienced. 

Aang began to sing the song that Nalo had sung earlier that day under his breath. What were the lyrics?

"The great protector
Is that what I'm supposed to be?
What if all this counts for nothing
Everything I though I'd be?
What if by the time I realise 
It's too far away to see?"

Katara sniffed behind the door. Aang flipped himself over onto his knees and pressed his left hand to the door. He whispered her name, begging her to answer. She sighed. 

"Why did you really lie to him Aang?" He pressed his eyes shut. He wanted to tell her he didn't know. He wanted to say he was confused. But he couldn't lie to Katara. 

"What if they took her? Katara I can't loose it all again." He felt something fall against the door on her side. 

"Are we not enough Aang?" He jerked his head back from the door. "Sokka, Toph, Zuko, the air acolytes, Republic City, me. Are we not enough for you?" Was she joking?

"Katara, what does that even mean?" He could feel the anger rising in his his chest. He pushed it back down again. Focus on the rise and fall of your breathing. 

"You know what I mean. You have a family. You have friends. You have your culture. You seem to have forgotten all that. Why have you dropped all your responsibilities as the Avatar for her?" Rise and fall. Rise and f- "You don't know her Aang. You met her this morning. People change. Yet, you lie to the Earth King. You propose to lie to my father. You'll probably lie to Zuko next. Then what? Who's next? Arnook? Sokka? Toph? Me?" 

Aang could feel every foot, hoof, paw and wheel that touched the ground within the nearest 20 miles. He could feel the air rushing over his face, arms and back. His jaw was shaking. His eyes wouldn't shut. He pushed himself off the door and flew backwards. His back smashed into a green chest on the other end of the room. 

Ozai's face towering above him, surrounded by fire, flashed before his eyes. Heat searing his skin as rocks fell around him.

His eyes focused. There was a throbbing pain in his right shoulder. His robe had torn on a splinter of wood. The children outside stopped squealing. He gasped. He put his hand down to push himself up and impaled it on shard of glass that had been part of the vase that rested on the chest. He yelled out in pain. The children picked up their game again.

There was too much noise. Too much noise. Too much noise. Too much.

He pulled the glass from his hand. He threw it on the floor beside him, blood tickled down his palm, slow and sticky. Katara opened her door. He closed his eyes, directing his senses to the ground. She stepped over a clump of wood. Her arm brushed her dress, reaching her hand out to him. He jerked his head to to side, holding up his bloody hand. 

"Don't you get it Katara? This isn't about the Avatar. This is about me. About Aang. About the last air bender. I finally have someone like me." She stepped back from him. 

"Aang, I was the last water bender in the Southern Tribe for almost my entire life. Until we found Siku and Sura I thought my culture would die with me or my family. I know exactly how you feel!"

"You don't! You clearly don't. You had your bother, your father, your grandma and your tribe! Sure, they weren't benders but they were your family! I didn't even have that. Now I finally have that chance. That chance to reestablish my culture with someone else. How is Nalo any different to Siku and Sura? Why are you so angry about her? Do you hate the idea of me finding my culture and my people like you did that badly? If I told the King the truth, do you think he would have let Nalo walk out of there? No! I can't loose her, not when I'm closer to my past than I have ever been!" 

Aang opened his eyes and looked at her. Everything happened so fast. She was breathing heavily. Her shoulders were shaking. 

"Well then why don't you just go and marry her! Then you'll be guaranteed to rebuild your precious culture!" she screamed in his face.

Aang stared at her in silence. The children outside had moved on and now the only sound in the room was Katara's breathing and the wind outside. Aang could feel his lower lip wobbling, tears brimming in his eyes but he didn't care. He pressed his hands against the wall behind him and hauled himself to his feet. He could feel the blood on his hand trailing behind on the wall, turning the green and gold paper shades of brown and red.  He started to back away from her, his legs weak like the unfried dough from that Avatar festival. He stumbled over his own feet, reaching for anything to steady himself. 

Katara's hands were in fists by her side, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly. Surely she didn't mean that? Surely she was going to take it back?

Another pot fell to the floor and smashed around Aang, ripping through his robe and trousers. He could feel the tears on his face, hot and salty, running down his cheeks and into his mouth or off his chin. Everything seemed to be falling down around him. The world looked wobbly. He moved his hand to his face to wipe his tears, remembering the blood too late. Why was his head so heavy? He could feel a sob building in his throat.

The cool sensation of metal shocked him awake. The door handle was grasped in his hand. He twisted it and fell out into the street. Cold air blasted his face, the smell of expensive perfume and whatever plant the neighbor was growing invaded his nostrils. He didn't wait to see if Katara would come after him, he already knew she wouldn't. Instead, he wiped his face with his robe and ran down the street.

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A little bit of angst :( I wonder what's gonna happen when the others find the house in such a state...;) Poor Katara and Aang, both feeling so confused and hurt. 
Thank goodness this is a shorter chapter! Sorry the last one was so long, the traveling between places meant I needed to add more content. I'm going to try and keep chapters to a max of 2000 words from now on...I just tend to get a bit carried away oops! Do let me know if you enjoy the story <3