Karma
September 13
12:15 pm
Unknown number
Karma?
-who is this?
[Read]
For the past couple of days I've been locked up in my room, slowly distancing myself from everybody and it wasn't on purpose, I just didn't feel like talking to anybody. Dealing with a new baby was really wearing me out and it's something I don't think I could've ever really mentally prepared myself for
As Hendrix cried I rubbed my face, getting frustrated. Benji left early and said he'd be back later so right now I was home alone because Lani was at school and ma went to work
"..Hendrix come onnn" I groaned while I picked him up and got off of the bed, going downstairs to fix him a bottle.
I struggled to hold him with one hand and get his bottle ready with the other one while he screamed in my ear.
"I can't do this... I can't" I muttered to myself, trying to tune out the crying until his bottle got warm. Once I pulled it out of the warmer to check on it I guess I didn't put the lid on tight enough because it slipped straight out of my hand and crashed onto the ground spilling all on the floor
"SHIT!"
"The hell happened?" I could hear Benji ask as he rushed into the kitchen, must be just getting back
"Get him, PLEASE!"
Benji grabbed Hendrix "What wrong witchu?"
"Nothing" I sighed while I grabbed another bottle from the fridge and put it in the bottle warmer, cleaning up my mess while that one warmed up
"Kay"
"What?"
"Chill the hell out, get up and talk to me"
I got up and threw the paper towel in the trash while he grabbed the new bottle out of the bottle warmer and fed it to Hendrix so he could stop crying
"What yo problem is?"
"Nothing. I'm just tired"
"Go take a nap then"
"Not that kind of tired Benji. I sit in this house ALL day long in the dark. My hair looks a mess, everything on me is swollen, my body hurts and i still look like I'm 5 months pregnant"
"Kay you just had a baby. It gone take time to heal"
"I know that but it's more than just my body that's fucked up right now. I'm getting in this dark place that I don't like and it's getting worse everyday"
"Why you ain tell nobody?"
"Cause I'm obviously annoying y'all enough"
Benji sucked his teeth
"I'm serious Dimitri. Everybody's always leaving me here by myself and nobody really comes to talk to me unless they want hendrix or when they talk they only wanna talk about him. And when they ask how I'm feeling, they don't really wanna know cause then they'll tell me I'll be fine or it's because of the baby, I just gotta adjust but it's more than that" I vented to Benji while I felt myself about to cry but I just blinked the tears away "then not to mention I'm sitting here worried about you everytime you leave me because people really want you dead out here. And telling me to stop worrying don't help. Seeing you laid out on the ground bleeding out keeps replaying in my mind over and over again. And now this unknown number keep texting me"
