Hoover College (Destiel AU)

Chapter 10

    A/N: For those of you who haven't noticed, Cas' italics are his depressed thoughts.

     (Castiel's POV)

     Tuesday Morning

     I roll over in bed, I see a lump on Dean's bed. That asshole probably came home at midnight, he didn't wake me up. Which just proves that he was just messing with me. I roll on my back and let out a deep sigh. I don't feel anything, I'm just numb. He isn't the center of my world anymore.  Some part of me still wants there to be a reasonable explanation as to why he ditched.

     I groan as I roll out of bed and walk towards the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. When I exit Dean's bed is empty. Maybe he's already gone?  Of course he is! He doesn't want us. Whatever, I'm going to get some breakfast. That's when I notice the delicious smell wafting throughout the room. Intrigued I walk out to the living room. And there, standing in front of the stove, is Dean Winchester. Making breakfast. I feel myself falling again, and quickly bury those feelings. I clear my throat to make my presence known. His head snaps up and he gives me a small, sad smile. I just roll my eyes, I don't need his fake pity.

     "Cas, listen-"

     "Don't. I don't want to hear your excuses. You were probably laughing it up with Benny and Ash, good job Dean" I say with a sarcastic smile and applaud, "You managed to make the useless nerd rely on you, trust you, and make you the center of his universe. I bet that boosted you 'popular points', didn't it?" I snap.

     "Cas, Please listen. I was scared, I haven't been with a man before. I talked to Sam because I was scared. I want to give it a shot if you'd have me still. Please, give me another chance" He begs me. I sigh, I don't know what I should do. I want him, but he's done so many things to destroy my trust. How do I know I can trust him again?

     "Look, Dean" I start, "We've come so close to being happy. And I loved it," He perks up a little. "But," the hope slowly leaves his eyes, "I can't do this 'off and on' thing anymore. You told me on Sunday that you don't lean my way. How am I supposed to believe that after 1 day, you're into guys? How do I know I can trust you again? After everything you've done. How do I know that after our firs-second night together, you won't leave like you did the first time? How do I know that you won't ditch on me like you did yesterday? I'm ready for this relationship. I have been since I first laid my eyes on you. But you aren't"

     "But I am. Please Cas, I'm begging you, give me another shot. Just once, I won't screw it up. I promise you, I will never, ever, hurt you again. For the rest of my life I will only love you. Even if we break up, I will still love you. And I won't back down on that promise. Ever." During that whole confession, he was stepping closer to me. By now, he's right in front of me. Our lips inches apart, I can feel his breath ghost across my face. Is this what I want? He's not moving in. Which means he's waiting for me to make the move. If I make the move, it'll mean I want this. 

     I see the hope leaving his eyes, so I make the best mistake of my life, and kiss him. He's shocked, but kisses back almost instantly. His hands slowly wrap around my waist, as mine move around his neck. I tilt my head for better access as his tongue enters my mouth. There is nothing heated about this kiss. It's all gentle, passionate, and slow. We both break the kiss, but don't move away. he rests his forehead on mine. We just sit there in silence. Millions of things going through our minds. He's here, he wants me, it's not fake, he really wants me. The mantra plays over and over in my mind. I feel a peck on my lips, and open my eyes. When did I close them? 

     He brings his hands up and gently wipes something wet off my cheeks. Tears. When did I start crying?

     "What's wrong, Angel?"

     "I don't know, I'm just happy." He tips his head back and laughs. I can feel the vibrations in my chest.

     "I'm happy too" He says. We spend the next few minutes, just standing, wrapped up in eachother. Giving soft, chaste kisses from time to time. Dean occasionally whispering reassurances in my ear.

     "We'll be okay, Angel"

     "I'm here. I won't leave"

     "I will always be here for you"

     After every assurance he would kiss a part of my face. My eyelids, the tip of my nose, my forehead, my cheeks, and anywhere he could reach with being chest to chest with me.

     "Please don't leave me" I hear myself whisper. So quiet I could  barely hear myself. He hugs me tighter.

     "I won't"

   When we finally pull away, looking deeply into each other's eyes; reality hits like a brick wall. Class starts in 15 minutes. How are we going to act in front of his friends? Will we act different? Will he show our relationship with pride? What about Lisa? Aren't they still together? Or did they break up? The main question going through my head is. The one that is so simple, yet carries so much behind it. The question that I don't know the answer to, and that scares me. The question that can cause life worrying regret, the 2 words that will echo in my mind in the future, for the rest of my life. No matter what happens to us, those words will remain. The thing is, is it horrifying? Or exciting? Those 2 words are...

"What now?"