Back to the Start (Book 3 of the "Fearless" series) [Completed]

Chapter 13 - Windy City

August 11, 2013
Chicago, Ill.

[Karsyn]

The past few days have been pretty miserable. Apparently as soon as a tour starts, a tour that I want to see badly because it's a little different than the NKOTBSB tour, this spawn of Carter satan inside of me decides to make me feel pregnant.

I've gotten to see one show, in Charlotte, and that's only because Emmileigh and my aunt Jackie dragged me out of the bus to go see it, but the majority of the time, I was in the bathroom.

It's a good thing that Emmileigh hired Lucie and she's tutoring Haley along with Elijah because I really don't think I could do it right now. With what little energy I have, I try to help Emmileigh with the twins try to go places with Nick. The fans keep asking him why I haven't been going to the shows or being seen out like I had on their solo tour and everybody seems to think something is wrong with the baby.

It's not the baby, it's me.

"There are some fucked up baby names in the ones that's been submitted," Nick said, going through his emails. "Violet Rose? WTF, she wasn't conceived on a flower bed."

"Yeah, we don't know where she was conceived, could have been that plane on the way back from Hawaii and I'm not naming her Delta," I muttered.

"And do you know how many Nicole's there are? I bet you half of them have Nicole in it," he muttered. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

"Any Princesses?"

"One... Princess Nicole Carter. I like it. It has a nice ring to it."

"Over my dead body."

"With the way you're acting, that might not be far off," Nick said as I glared at him. "Bad joke. We still have three more days until the contest is over and we've only picked out three names that we want on the final list."

"Well the day the contest ends, we have the day off, so we can just spend the day on the bus or in a hotel doing that and then let Haley pick," I said, laying back on the sofa. "I think I just want to name her Satan." Then she kicked. "I think she likes it."

"You keep referring to her as the spawn of Satan and watch, that baby is gonna come out with wings and a halo and you're gonna be looking like a fool."

"She better attach the wings and halo after she comes out of my vagina, because wings and halos are not coming through there," I said, causing Nick to crack up laughing. We heard the door to the bus open and looked over, seeing Donnie walk on. "What's up? Kids doing their work over there?"

"Oh she's back in the arena with them because the twins are being fussy, especially Savannah," Donnie said. "Baby names?"

"We have one for Princess Nicole Carter," Nick said, handing Donnie the piece of paper.

"I think you should pass," Donnie said as I snorted. "You feeling okay?" he asked, looking at me.

"Been worse, why?"

"I think Emmileigh is on the verge of freaking out over there," Donnie said as I sighed, sitting up on the sofa. He grabbed my hand, helping me up and I straightened my sundress.

"I think I'm going to start charging you for therapy visits," I said, causing Donnie to crack up laughing as I made my way out of the bus.

[/Karsyn]

[Emmileigh]

Savannah was teething. ALOT. And the past few nights had been nothing but her whining, shitting her nappy over and over and screaming.

And of course I'd been the perfect wife, letting Donnie sleep as he's been working his ass off.

I had now got to the point of over-tired. I was fed up with a screaming baby, fed up with being on a bus, and fed up with Lucie's sickly sweet voice, and smile and her just being around.

Donnie had left the bus around fifteen minutes ago to take Elijah and Haley into the arena to study with Lucie. Usually I would sit and stew over the fact Donnie was going to Lucie, but Savannah was having one of her moments.

And I felt like having one of my own.

I was walking up and down the bunk area of the bus, Savannah leant against my chest as she cried, and I rubbed her back, shushing her. I knew it wasn't working. Hell, even Savannah knew. I just didn't know what else to do.

"Emmi?"

I turned around and looked towards the front of the bus, seeing Karsyn. I walked through and right up to her. "Please... take her." Karsyn took her and I immediately stepped back.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Teething. She hates me. I can't do anything right and I'm tired and... UGH!" I sat myself down on the couch and put my head in my hands.

"She doesn't hate you.. it's not her fault her teeth are coming through. When did you last sleep? Or eat? Or rest?"

I looked up and sighed. "I think I slept for like an hour last night. And ate? I don't even know.... yesterday?"

"You need a nanny."

I shook my head. "No I don't. I just need a fucking break."

"Exactly. You need a nanny. Donnie's working, you're looking after the kids 24/7. Hire someone."

I frowned, shaking my head. "No.. I can't just trust some stranger with my kids. Not on the road."

"What about Alma?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Karsyn."

"You're stubborn. Your Mama is stubborn!"

I rested my head in my hands and groaned when Savannah actually cooed at Karsyn.

I was a bad mum. My daughter spends the majority of the night and the whole morning screaming, and within a few minutes of Karsyn holding her she was happy.

I suck.


[/Emmileigh]