Back to the Start (Book 3 of the "Fearless" series) [Completed]

Chapter 4 - Step By Step

June 10, 2013

[Emmileigh]

I carried Savannah on my hip as I walked through the house, looking for her blankie. "Hmm where did you and daddy take it this morning?" I walked down the hall to where Donnie's little office was, but stopped when I heard him talking.

"So it's set then? Last season then I'm out the contract?"

I stepped a little closer, not wanting him to know I was there, but feeling nosy as to what he was talking about.

"Yes, I'm sure I want out. I know it's an inconvenience..."

I bit my lip. What was he getting out of? I leant a little closer, but Savannah let out a little gurgle, making me stand up straight and walk back down the hall and into the laundry room. I found her blankie straight away, but it was covered in milk.

No wonder I couldn't find it.

"Guess we'll get you a new one baby." I turned around to walk out the room and jumped when I saw Donnie in the doorway. "Jesus!"

"Nope, just Donnie." He reached for Savannah. "Have fun listening in?"

I felt my cheeks go red. "I was looking for her blankie."

Donnie smiled. "Oh, I know.. but I didn't miss you standing in the doorway. Go on, ask me.."

"Ask you what?" I leant against the washer, looking at Donnie.

"What the call was about? I know you wanna know."

I sighed softly. "Fine. What was the call about?"

Donnie chuckled. "Well, I've been talking with the bosses at Blue Bloods. After I filmed my last scenes I put in to be written out."

"What?"

"Yea, but turns out I have a contract to fill. Usually its for 6 seasons, but I can be written out only if I die on screen. So.. the decisions been set. I 'die' before the mid season finale. Filming starts in the fall."

I blinked at Donnie. "Are you serious? You're leaving Blue Bloods?"

Donnie nodded. "I can't keep going back and forth when my family is here."

"But we can go with you! Donnie you love Blue Bloods."

"I do.." He nodded, stepping closer. "..But I love my family more."

I looked at Donnie and smiled softly before moving closer, hugging myself to his side. "I don't want people to think I made you do this.."

"Why would they? You didn't even know."

I looked up at him and smiled softly. "They will think its me though."

"So? Ignore what other people think. Baby, it's our lives. I love you, and I love our children and I want to spend forever with you all, seeing the twins grow, helping Elijah with his homework, and making love to my wife every night instead of being stuck at a studio 12 hours a day."

"Hmm, but even if you stay home, you won't be making love to your wife unless there's something you're not telling me?" I winked at him as he chuckled.

"We will be getting married this year. I'm not leaving 2013 without you being my wife."

"Guess we need to get planning then?"

Donnie grinned at me. "I know you've made ideas.."

"Yea, but I haven't actually planned anything."

Donnie leant down and kissed me softly. "Then start. Let me know what's happening and we can sort it out. I wanna marry you.."

I sighed and smiled against his lips. "Then let's get married.."


[/Emmileigh]

[Karsyn]

Charlotte.

The tour is in Charlotte, my hometown, and has a show tonight and my phone has not stopped ringing. It's funny when you work your ass off and you're broke, nobody comes around. But win the lottery and marry a Backstreet Boy and suddenly everybody is your best friend and can't wait to hang out and see you.

Eh, fuck them.

Haley and I are having lunch with my Aunt who is coming to the show tonight and that's about it. Oh, and Tony. Tony is coming to the concert. Can you believe that shit? Eh, I can't bitch too much about it. Since he and I had it out on the phone that day, he has been good about the Haley thing.

The shows have been really good... they are either sold out or nearly sold out. The dates for the new NKOTBSB shows have been released and we're going to be on the road until Halloween - The U.S., Canada, Europe.

At least Emmileigh and I will be together and it won't be as lonely as it is right now. I mean, it's gotten better than that first show in Chicago. Haley is sleeping on the bus better when we have to travel overnight. I'm sleeping better on the bus.

It's just so weird seeing the guys perform by themselves and not have New Kids come out for a song or two between. Don't get me wrong, they are still awesome by themselves and now that Kevin is back, it's amazing. It's weird as hell too to see them sing a song that Nick and I wrote together in a hotel room in Europe somewhere. I don't even remember what city we were in when he dragged me out of the bed.

But now I'm back in my hometown and I wish my Mom and Alan were here to come to the show. She never got to see the guys perform and I had told her the next time they did, she would go.

"Aunt Jackie!" Haley yelled as she and I walked into the restaurant downtown near the amphitheatre. Haley ran up to hug her and Jackie laughed.

"I've never seen you so excited to se me," Aunt Jackie said as she hugged me. "You've lost some weight."

"Yeah, all the stress the past few months," I said as we sat down.

"Aunt Jackie, are you coming to the concert tonight?" Haley asked as Jackie nodded. The waiter brought Haley some crayons and a coloring book. "Daddy is good on stage."

"Daddy?" Aunt Jackie asked as I smiled. "I know you two got married but..."

"The adoption went through, too, both of us," I said as Jackie took a sip of her drink. "I think that's what my Mom and Alan would have wanted, or at least that's what I got out of the letter she left me."

"Well, I do have something to give you," she said, handing me an envelope. "It's the money from the house being sold and from the furniture that was sold. "I didn't want to mail it and since I was out of town when you guys stopped through here a few weeks ago..."

"Why don't you keep it?" I asked, handing her the envelope back. "I don't need it and you helped so much. Just keep it and go on a long vacation or something. Get a new car."

"That's a lot of money..."

"Yeah, but I don't need it and Haley doesn't need it," I said as the waiter came back to take our order. We ordered our meals and watched as he walked away. "Seriously, it's yours. I didn't get the chance to do anything big for my Mom and Alan after I won the money and so I know they would want you to have it."

"I think seeing you get out of here was enough of a gift," she said. "They knew you were miserable here. I'm just glad to see everything is going so good for you two," she said, nodding towards Haley. "Do you like living with Karsyn and Nick, Haley?"

"I love it," Haley smiled. "I get to see concerts and they took me to meet Justin Bieber on my birthday. We went to Japan and I got to see Japanese people and Mama and Daddy are gonna have a baby."

"Haley," I whined as my aunt looked at me. "Not yet, I'm not pregnant."

"God, you've become domesticated," Aunt Jackie laughed. "Julia would be laughing her ass off right about now."

"Think she would have liked it?" I asked.

"She was ecstatic when that one was born, but with how everything was, she couldn't go busting out the Grandma balloons," she said as I looked down. "But don't feel bad. It was a weird situation, Karsyn. Her and Alan would have been happy with the way things are turning out."

[/Karsyn]