Chosen

Chapter Seven: Julian

I had put up a do not disturb sign on the door. For some reason, every time I saw Athena and Scarlett together, I felt jealous. As if Scarlett was stealing Athena from me... Or Athena was stealing Scarlett. It was dumb, really: how could she steal something from me that I didn't have? But I felt it nonetheless.

Scarlett had screamed the night before. I heard her, it came from her room: a muffled screaming... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, she'd said. I wanted to break the doors down to comfort her... But I couldn't. I didn't. She stopped a few minutes later; no doubt Athena came to the rescue, I thought bitterly. Then I scolded myself for thinking that way. I mustn't. I resented myself for feeling these feelings, this newfound hatred toward Athena, the nasty hot jealousy. I couldn't help it, though. I knew she would never love me...

I stayed up well into the night contemplating these feelings and thoughts floating around my head. What had I expected to happen?

It was late, probably close to midnight, when I heard Scarlett's scream, except it abruptly stopped. Athena again. I didn't think twice about it.

Except that I heard two sets of footsteps walk by a moment later, then backtrack and stop at the door. Silence, then a click, and then the door swung open. I almost yelled, but then I heard Athena's voice:

"Don't scream, Jules. It's just us."

The door shut and Athena and Scarlett sat down beside it. I lit a torch for light.

It wasn't until then that I realized that we were all in the same clothes as we were when we went for the Choosing. Why hadn't they provided us with clothes? Surely they had plenty of money. 

We were silent for a moment. I was about to ask what they needed when Scarlett spoke.

"What's the matter, Julian?"

I almost groaned. They'd been asking this almost the whole time we've been here. I couldn't tell them, or I'd push them away. They wouldn't understand, either.

Instead of groaning, however, I grunted the usual 'nothing' and threw myself backwards on the bed.

"He's scared," Scarlett murmured to Athena. "Scared of something."

"I'm not," I protested. "We can survive the Championships-"

"He likes you," Athena said suddenly. It was as if she didn't care. I was angry that they were whispering behind my back like this. Even making up rumors!

Except that they're true, I had to remind myself. I had no right to be angry-did I?  

I tried to speak, deny it.

"That would explain his behavior," Scarlett interrupted.

"I'm not-" I tried again.

"Julian," Scarlett said softly. "I don't hate you, if that's what you're worried about. I don't feel any different. You're allowed to have feelings. Of course you are. You're allowed to like me. That just makes you human.

"That's not-" I began.

"I think his problem is," Athena interrupted, "that you won't like him back.

"Oh," Scarlett said. We all sat in silence for a moment more.

"Well, goodnight, Jules," Athena said, and then she and Scarlett left.

I felt worse than before.

<><><>

I didn't see the point in reading about former Champions' feats when everyone had undoubtedly heard about them several times, but it wasn't my place to argue. Scarlett, Athena, and I sat around a round table piled high with large books recounting each and every Championship. The silence was awkward and heavy between us.

Scarlett, obviously an avid reader, seemed oblivious to it, her nose stuck in a book. Athena had one open in front of her, but hadn't turned the page in half an hour. She was sneaking looks at Scarlett. I didn't even bother to pretend to read.

"Y'know, this looks a lot harder than it has been explained," Scarlett said, emerging from behind her book.

"It is a very elusive subject," Athena said.

"So it may be harder still than even the books explain?" Scarlett said in a small voice, looking scared.  

"It may be, it may not be," I said. Athena glared at me over her book.

My face heated up. I hated her glaring at me. She was always glaring at me: don't yell Scarlett this, not yet, it's going to scare her, she's fragile.

"It looks like you guys can handle this on your own," I said, standing up so quickly my chair fell over. "I'm going to my room."

Without waiting for a response, I left.

<><><>

That night as I lay in bed with my thoughts, I realized I may have been a bit harsh. What if I'd made Scarlett feel guilty?

I shook my head. Even is Scarlett felt bad, Athena would help her. Of course she would. I had a right to be angry. Right?

<><><>

The next day of reading was just as dull, though I did not walk out this time. Instead I simply stared at the walls as the other two read. I could feel Athena glaring at me.

At dinner, the mousey lady had an announcement.

"More letters from your parents will arrive tomorrow morning. After lunch tomorrow, you guys will be heading to different people to dress you in outfits to show you off just before the Championships begin."

For once, there was noise at the table.

"Show us off?" A small boy with curly hair said. "What are we, show animals?"

Many people grunted their agreement. Athena was watching Scarlett, who looked troubled about something.

"I didn't mean it that way," the lady said. "I just meant you need to make a good impression. You are excused," she added, then glanced at Scarlett. "Except you, dear."