Chapter 34

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CAROLINE'S POV

Today was the day of my first counseling/therapy appointment and as we drove the streets of Nashville I could feel my heart pounding. I really didn't want to do this, which was why I made Taylor come with me, she wouldn't be in the room with me during the actual thing but she was still going to be there waiting for me when I was done.

When we pulled up to the building my stomach did that wierd nervous thing and I dreaded it even more. Taylor and I went up to the front desk upon walking in and they handed Taylor a form to fill out. There were only a few chairs out in the waiting area but we sat in them as Taylor started to write on the paper. We were only sitting there for a minute when a door opened into the room.

"Caroline Swift?" The woman at the door asked. I didn't think it would be this soon, but I stood up. I heard Taylor quietly whisper 'I love you' to me, which I knew she did because I didn't want to be here. I followed the woman through the door and into one of the back rooms.

She told me to have a seat so I sat at the chair on the other side of her desk, she sat at her desk. She introduced herself as Amy and immediately started a conversation with me.

The first half an hour was spent talking about where I went to school, how my grades were, my friends and if I had a boyfriend. I learned that she really liked to ask a lot of questions. Things got more interesting when she started talking about Taylor.

"So you live with just your mom right?" Amy asked and I said yes.

"Do you ever go to your dads on the weekends or does your mom have full custody over you?" She asked.

"Well Taylor adopted me and she was never married or anything, it's just always been me and her." I explained.

"I see, when did your mom adopt you?" She asked.

"Umm, right before school started this year, but I've been living with her since the summer of 2013." I told her.

"Do you mind if I call her your mom? I noticed that you refer to her as Taylor." She said.

"No, I don't care." I said.

"So what was the situation when you where living with her but she hadn't adopted you yet?" She asked,

"She was my foster mom." I said, tired of answering questions.

"Was this the first time you've been in foster care?" She asked.

"Well the only times I've ever been in foster care were the times that my dad was being sent to the Middle East by the army and there was nobody there to take care of me. So I was in foster care for a while when I was nine and then just this last time with Taylor." I explained, hoping this would be over soon.

"So your mom wasn't able to take care of you these times?" Amy questioned.

"My mom died of cancer when I was in kindergarten." I said.

"So you live with both your biological parents until you were in kindergarten and then just you dad except for the times he had to leave, correct?" She asked and I nodded.

"Why was it that your mom adopted you out of foster care just recently?" Amy asked.

"Umm, my dad was killed in Afghanistan about a year ago, so Taylor just adopted me because I was living with her already and I had nobody else." I said, glancing at the clock when she wasn't looking. The conversation went on for about five more minutes until time was up. Amy thanks me for coming and told me that she'd see me agin at my next appointment, I was already dreading it.

I saw Taylor sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine as I walked out. I wished I could run up to her, wrap my arms around her neck an beg her never to bring me back here. But there were other people in the room so I quietly walked up to her, she smiled and stood up when she saw me. We walked out into the parking lot together and that's when everything started.

"How was it?" She asked me, her hand on my back, guiding me to the car.

"Terrible, I never want to come back." Was all I said.

"Come on babe, you did so good." Taylor said when we were back in the car.

"You weren't even there, it was so bad, she just asked me a whole bunch of questions about my life and my parents and you and I hated it." I said as Taylor backed out.

"Well she's got to get to know you." Taylor reasoned.

"Well I don't want to talk about my dad to some stranger. I hate that." I told Taylor.

"Don't ever bring me back." I said when Taylor didn't respond to me.

"Caroline, it's gonna make you better." She said as she drove.

"I'm already fine." I said with my voice cracking a little and hot tears building in my eyes.

"I love you, but you know that's not true. Ever since your dad died you haven't been fine, and it's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry, but I just don't want you to be upset like this forever. I'm trying to help you by taking you here." Taylor said, taking one hand off the steering wheel and reaching for my hand.

She rubbed my hand with her thumb as I looked straight forward and tried as hard as I could to fight back tears. Taylor looked over at me right as the first tear slowly fell down my face. Her hand squeezed mine tighter as I felt another one escape my eye.

I wiped as much of it as I could off my face as Taylor pulled up to our apartment building. When I got out of the car she stood on the other side waiting for me to walk around. She walked in next to me and once we were in the privacy of the elevator she hugged me and pulled me close to her.

"I'm sorry you don't like it." She said as she rubbed me back. We pulled away once we got to the top and entered our apartment.

"What did you guys even talk about, like what were specific things?" Taylor asked.

"She wanted to know why you adopted me and why you were a single parent and why I didn't visit my dad on the weekends and where my biological parents were and just all this shit. It wasn't even like a talk it was just like she was asking me all these questions and it was fucking stupid." I said, getting mad.

"Hey now, just relax, I'm sure it will be better next time when she knows more about you." Taylor said. I didn't believe that, but I didn't argue. Taylor made it all up to me by going to get us ice cream. She even left me home alone for about ten minutes, God forbid. At the end of the day I was just glad that my next appointment wasn't for another week.

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