Chapter 23

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I woke up 4 hours after I fell asleep because Taylor was leaving to film a music video. It was 8am and I opened my eyes to see the living room, I confusedly looked around and remembered going to sleep on the couch a few hours ago. I looked over and saw Taylor loudly making herself breakfast in the kitchen.

I laid back down, wishing I'd gone to bed earlier last night. I was getting really sick of being tired all the time, but it seemed impossible to sleep sometimes. My mind just didn't let itself rest so most of the time I couldn't relax enough to fall asleep, which was annoying and frustrating.

Taylor still was not fully aware of this issue, sometimes she would be with me when I woke up a couple hours early with a nightmare, but she didn't know the extent of this problem. That was okay with me, I didn't want her to worry.

Eventually she saw me lying awake on the couch, stretched out on my side.

"Morning, babe." She said as she started walking over to me. I yawned as she sat down in front of me on the very edge of the couch.

"Why don't you go lay down in my room? It's darker in there and the bed is more comfortable than the couch, you should go back to sleep." She said, resting her hand on my leg. I didn't say anything, I just rubbed my eyes.

"Oooooohhhhhh." Taylor laughed, looking at my face.

"You didn't wash off your makeup last night, now it's all smeared." She told me, wiping at my cheeks. I rubbed my eyes again and looked at my fingers, which had turned black with mascara.

"Come on, I'll get you laid down in there before I go, because you need to sleep." She said getting up and carrying my blanket into her room for me while I followed her. I laid in Taylor's usual spot since she wouldn't be here and she covered me with the blankets. Once I got all comfortable she leaned down to kiss me, I must've looked really tired because she was being very motherly this morning.

"It'll be like 2 or 3 when I get back." She said looking down at me, studying my face.

"You gonna be alright?" She asked, looking a little concerned.

"Yeah." I told her. I must've been looking real rough.

"Mmkay, well go back to sleep. I love you, goodbye." She said.

"Bye, love you." I said in a horse voice as she left the room and quietly shut the door.

Now that I was already awake getting back to sleep would be the struggle. But it did help that the room was dark and the bed was comfortable, so I did end up going to sleep.

Taylor woke me up when she got home, it was 3:30 and is been sleeping since 8:30, which was really impressive for me.

"Care, wake up." Taylor said putting her hand on my face. I was startled at first to see her there, but then I realized what time it was and that she was back.

"Have you eaten lunch?" She asked.

"No." I said, sitting up in bed.

"You've been asleep this entire time?" She asked feeling my head with the back of her hand.

"Yeah." I yawned. Then the held my face between her hands and studied my eyes.

"Were you drinking last night?" She asked me, still holding my face.

"No!" I scoffed, pushing her arms away. I don't know why she would think I was drinking, even just seeing her drink made me uncomfortable.

"Caroline." She said and looked at me.

"Taylor why the hell would you think I was drinking last night?" I yelled. I was getting mad because even after I said no she still thought I drank.

"Hey, calm down. I was just wondering because there were older kids there last night and you've been sleeping all day." She said calmly. I grumbled and made a scene out of laying back down in her bed.

"Don't get upset about it, I'm sorry. I know you weren't, it's okay." She said sitting down next to me on her bed and stroking my hair.

"Come on, I'll make you lunch." She said, getting ready to get up. I reluctantly got up with her and as soon as I did she turned around and gave me a long tight hug.

"I love you." She said to me with her hand on the back of my head, trying to make up for accusing me of being hungover.

So I ate lunch at 4 in the afternoon while Taylor told me all about the music video they were filming. When Taylor's starts talking about her job and stuff I always remember that she's one of the most famous people in the world and here I am, a teenage girl who is nothing next to her. Yet somehow her of all people adopted me as her daughter.

"So who's this Asher boy?" Taylor asked me after I got done eating and was doing my dishes. I thought of my night last night and I thought of Asher.

"He's so cute." I said, thinking of his messy brown hair.

"So is that like a thing?" Taylor asked.

"Me and him?" I questioned and Taylor nodded.

"No, I just met him last night and I had like a 2 minute conversation with him when he was driving me home because I'm too young to drive. So even if I thought that could be a thing, I'm sure he didn't." I told Taylor.

"Was he drinking last night?" Taylor asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Taylor!" I yelled.

"I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding." Taylor laughed.

"What's Asher's last name?" Taylor asked, pulling out her phone.

"Johnson." I said and Taylor pulled him up on Twitter.

"Taylor, I swear if you accidentally favorite anything or follow him-" I started.

"I won't." Taylor said, tapping on his picture.

"Oh he is cute, he's giving me cowboy vibes." Taylor said.

"And cowboys are so hot so that's just a +10 for him." I said, looking over her shoulder.

"You get that girl." Taylor joked, locking her phone. I laughed and knew that they could never happen because I don't have any classes with him and have never seen him around school before. And I was only a sophomore, so it's not like he'd be interested.

As creepy as this sounds, my night consisted of looking through his Twitter and Instagram pages. And suddenly, before I was about to shower, I realized that I'd gone this whole day without really thinking about my parents. And even though it's pretty pathetic, Asher's social media pages had kept my mind on better things. And definitely hotter things.

It was hard to get to sleep that night after I'd napped for half the day, and Taylor had anticipated that, so we had a movie night. All in all, January 1st, 2015 was a good day. wasn't sad, I slept for most of it, and since it was a new year it was a chance to make this one better than 2014 and move on from my dad's death and everything that came with that.

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