Chapter 32

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CAROLINE'S POV

"Yeah I'd like to make an appointment." Were the words I woke up to in the morning. I opened my eyes a little and found myself in Taylor's bed, with her sitting up next to me in the phone. It didn't take long for me to remember what happened yesterday and suddenly there was a knot in my stomach. I prayed this appointment Taylor was making had nothing to do with me.

"Caroline Swift.... Uh yeah it used to be Connor." Taylor said into the phone and before I could react I saw her head turning around to look at me so I shut my eyes, acting like I was still asleep.

"Alright...yeah I can do that...we'll come by then...thank you." Taylor said and then, with my eyes still shut I heard her put the phone down. I felt her turn around to face me, bend down, and kiss my forehead.

"Babe, wake up, it's pretty late." She said while stroking my hair. I opened my eyes to see her face for the first time this morning and it was all red like she'd been crying. I knew it had to be because of me and all the stress of put her through. I quickly looked away and as soon as I did I knew it was a bad choice because now I could feel her studying my face. By now I was comfortable with her seeing me cry, but seeing her close to tears was different.

"It's alright Care, I'm alright." Taylor said, rubbing my back, but I couldn't make eye contact with her. For some reason having a day like yesterday and then waking up and seeing Taylor all emotional made me emotional. And I hated that it made me emotional, I didn't want to do it but my eyes started filling up with tears and I was still looking at the wall.

"Hey you, it's okay." She said when she saw me. A single tear slowly rolled down the side of my face and I felt so stupid. Taylor laid down beside and attempted to make me feel better about the situation. We were both lying on our sides but my gaze was nowhere near her.

"Caroline Paige, look at me, I'm fine, everything is alright." She told me with her hand on my cheek, forcing me to look her way. As soon as my eyes met her's I involuntarily flinched which I hated myself for because it made me feel even more stupid that I was crying because I saw Taylor upset. I didn't know what to do with myself and I hated the situation I was in, I kept my eyes away from her's and I fidgeted around under the covers while another tear fell down my face.

"I'm gonna go make us lunch, alright?" Taylor said and I nodded with my eyes fixed on the bedsheets. She stayed lying there for a while and I could feel her eyes on me.

"I love you." She said in almost a whisper before she kissed me and headed to the kitchen. I was kicking myself for crying and making myself look so weak. Anyone else my age would not have to make a whole deal out of seeing their mom a little teary eyed. I wished I could forget the whole thing and I wished I could make Taylor forget the whole thing. I had cried all too often lately.

I stayed in Taylor's room for a long time, just avoiding Taylor out of embarrassment. There was a point where she yelled my name and told me that my lunch was done, so I reluctantly got up and walked out to the kitchen. I tried to grab my plate without any interaction but Taylor stopped me, she didn't say anything which I was thankful for, but she hugged me tightly. I accepted it and hugged her back as soon as she pulled away she started talking about something completely off topic to what just happened.

I was relieved to hear about something that didn't relate to any of my anxiety issues/health problems. But I could sense that a conversation about those things was coming soon.

"I made you a doctors appointment for later today." Taylor said as she put away her dishes.

"Later today?" I asked, dreading it.

"Yeah, I figured you could just go by your self, all they're going to do is run a few test to see which medicine to prescribe you to." She told me. I went back into Taylor's room and laid back down in her bed, she had woken me up prematurely and I was still having jet lag from Asia. And I guess if I was tired I should probably take advantage of it.

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