To Our Own Beat (Urban)

What to Do?

Ricky

                What the hell just happened? Within a matter of minutes my whole life blew up before my eyes. I lost the love of my life. I literally feel like my life is over.   

“Dang, what happened up in here?” Darren asked, walking into my apartment the next morning.

“Rae left me.” I told him.

“Jewel was telling me but, I didn’t know all this stuff went down. Look at yo face dawg. Rae must’ve hit you with a two piece.” Darren said, staring at my face in disbelief. My face was riddled with scars, scratches and bruises.

“Darren please. I’m not in the mood.” I said, staring off into space.

“Why didn’t you tell her?” he asked.

“I didn’t want to hurt her.” I answered simply.

“I see dawg. But you hit her with a double whammy. You didn’t just lie about not being a virgin, you cheated on Rae. Ya’ll was together while you were in college. Drunk or not, what you did was inexcusable.” He said.

                I wasn’t in the mood for Darren’s lecture but what he was spitting was real. I cheated on Reagan. It’s as simple as that.

“But I have a feeling I can fix this, I just gotta explain everything to her.” I said to Darren.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Emotions are running high, she hates you, and all the men in her family hate you…this list goes on.” Darren spoke.

“Whatever, dawg.” I said to him as I grabbed my keys and headed towards the door.

                When I pulled up to the Jackson residence, my nervousness really set in. Was I really ready to do this? There’s no time like the present though right? I removed the key from the ignition and exited the car. I took a deep breath before I rang the doorbell. I waited bout three minutes and then the door swung open and revealed Reagan. It was the worse that I’ve ever saw her. Her eyes were red and puffy and there was evidence of dried up tears on her cheek. She looked really sad. There was no happiness in her whatsoever and it hurt me to my heart to my heart that the sole reason why those tears were there was because of my actions.

                She stared at me for a few seconds.

“Rae I can explain…” I started. She immediately ran away from the door, leaving me standing there. I think that started a new round of tears. When Rae disappeared, Poppa appeared.

“Nigga what the hell you doing here? Wait naw I take that back, I’ve been waiting for yo ass. You think its okay to make my sister cry? Huh? To hurt her after being faithful to you for over ten years? Huh?” he spat with so much venom it was poisonous.

                Before I could even respond this little nigga socked me in my jaw. I was so taken by surprise that I stumbled backward and lost my footing. That just gave him more of an upper hand. He began to stomp me out. Blow after blow hurt more and more. These weren’t kiddie blows; mind you at sixteen, Poppa is nearly six feet tall and he plays football so he’s cut. Poppa loved his sister more than anybody in the whole world. He loved Rae more than he loved his momma. I knew he’d kill over Rae so I also knew that he wasn’t gon stop until all the energy he had within him was expelled on me. I yelped in pain.

“Skylar stop!” I heard a deep voice yell. But that didn’t stop him. He kept right on throwing blows and kicks. Suddenly it stopped. I managed to look up and I saw Mr. Jackson trying to get a hold of Poppa. Right before he got a firm hold on him Poppa landed a kick right on my ribs. I ‘m pretty sure I heard my rib cage crack.

“I’d suggest you get off my lawn. Once I go back in this house, I have no control over whether he comes back for more or not.” Mr. Jackson told me, looking down on me with pure disgust. I was more afraid that he was going to start wailing on me.

             I scrambled to get back to my car. I was in so much pain. I guess this was a bad idea.

Reagan

                I watched as Ricky struggled to get back to his car. Even though I was angry with him, that doesn’t mean that I wanted him to hurt. I couldn’t be mad at Poppa though. He doesn’t hold back when it comes to me. He’s very protective over me. I sighed as I watched him drive off. I sauntered back over to my bed and plopped down. My family was allowing me to stay to myself for a while. The only time they would come up to my room was to offer me a meal.

                I was in the dark as to how I wanted to proceed with me and Ricky’s relationship. Part of me wanted to move on but part of me wanted to stay by his side as well. I knew where I could go to find the answer to my question.

                I decided to log onto my favorite blog, Black Girls Are Easy. I know I’ve read a post about this in the past. I opened up my computer and went to work.

                After a few minutes of searching, I found the article that I had read. It was titled, “When is It Time to Leave Him?” I read over the article and found my answer when I got to the last paragraph. In the last paragraph the author that goes by the penname NC-17 said,

But You Love Him: Love is worth fighting for, but love is not worth the fighting. Bad relationships rarely do a 180, but people still desperately cling on to that sinking ship long after they’re underwater. Breaking up isn’t fun, it isn’t easy, and no matter how strong you think you are, it’s going to hurt like a mf for a long time. Deal with it. So you’re single again—who cares. The world doesn’t laugh behind your back every time you fail at love. Every one experiences it. Learning how to end a relationship properly helps prepare you for the next one. In the end everyone has problems, but it’s up to you to recognize who you’re in love with and if your problems are worth working through. If you’re questioning whether he’s a good man, then more than likely he’s a not. Use your better judgment, the answer is right in front of your face if you really want the truth. Are the bad times worth the good times? Does he make you a better person or bring out the worst in you? Don’t look at the examples of people who stuck it out and got married, statistics don’t matter; your situation is unique to you and should be treated that way. Remember that a ring on your finger doesn’t end the drama in your life. If you’re miserable now, you’ll be miserable six months from now. It may hurt, but it’s better to pull the plug on your relationship then love on life support.

                Tears streamed down my face as I read the paragraph. It spoke volumes to how I was feelings. Did I wanna love on life support? I was so confused. It was the same way I felt when I had to break things off with Sammie. I wouldn't allow Sammie to hurt me twice. Why should I give Ricky a second chance? Sammie didn't even cheat on me and I didn't give him a second chance.

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I fixed my laptop ya'll!!!!!
The decision is in the next chapter! It'll be up tonight. I promise!
Predictions!!!!
P.S. That blog is life!!!! You can find it at www.blackgirlsareeasy.com .