Then You Look At Me

Chapter 30

"Just take some deep breaths Alex and you'll be fine...", Alex muttered to himself as he tried to stop his pacing inside his room.

As he continued walking around the room, his best friend John was simpy following his every move with his eyes. When he couldn't take Alex's pacing anymore, he raised his hands out of frustration.

"Can you please just sit down?"

Alex took another deep breath and shook his head distractedly. He remained his pacing until John stood up and blocked his way.

"Alex, try to relax. And try to look happy for heaven's sake!"

"I am happy, John. Very. I just never thought a man can get this terrified.Not on this very special day."

John laughed a little and as much as Alex's continued pacing is driving him nuts, he clearly empathize with Alex. He placed a firm hand on his best friend's shoulder and tried to give some words of reassurance.

"Well, we still have to wait a while. So, why not just distract yourself with the things that happened last week. I mean, a little flashback might help ease your mind.", John suggested.

Alex looked at him and simply nodded. He does need a distraction or else he might start making a hole in the carpet with his continued pacing.

He took another deep breath and let his mind go back to the past two months. Back to that moment when Mia followed him to the stables and made everything right again with her...shoe.

The memory made Alex smile. That's my woman, he mused.

Alex remembered the way Mia held his face in her hands and looked deeply into his eyes. Tears flooded her vision as she smiled up at him.

"No matter what happens, Alex, I will always love you. Only you."

He couldn't speak at that moment and in response, Alex held Mia tightly against him and just held her for a long time.

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The next morning with a determined pace, Alex went  to the garden where his mother tended to some of her flowers. He didn't make a sound but still she felt his presence. The moment she turned around, Alex saw the tears.

"Mother...", he whispered.

"I'm so sorry Alex that you had to discover your parentage in that way. I've always wanted to tell you but I was always afraid that you'll end up hating me.", the Queen lamented.

In two long strides, Alex went to his Mother and enveloped her in his arms. He didn't say anything but waited silently as the Queen wept as if her heart has been broken.

When her tears have finally abated, Alex gently held her arm and helped her sit down. The Queen took several deep breaths and with red-rimmed eyes, turned her head and looked at her son.

"I was already pregnant with you when your father, the King, found out about Ethan's true intentions. But I still believe up to this day that Ethan loved me. Maybe in his own way, he did love me. He just couldn't deny the fact that he loved my wealth more."

The Queen continued with her story." The King made sure that Ethan won't get away with his plans. So, he made Ethan disappear. Everything that has happened became a blur to me. I was in shock when I discovered what your father, the King, did. And for so many years, I hated him for it."

"When did you stop hating him?", Alex asked quietly.

The Queen looked at her son and sighed."The night before Mia...disappeared. Your father and I had a huge argument and the "forbidden" topic just came out. Then, everything just followed.He told me that Ethan didn't truly love me."

"And you believed him?"

"I didn't want to at first but eventually...I did."

Alex took his mother's cold hands and covered them with his warm gentle hands."With his current state of health, I don't think he can handle this news."

The Queen shook her head sadly at her son."Why do you think he's always been hard on you, Alex?"

When Alex didn't say anything...his mother continued on speaking.

"He knew from the start that he's not your father."

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Alex's eyes remained expressionless but his jaws tightened when he finally learned the truth. "That explains it all then.", he simply said.

The Queen placed a loving hand on her son's cheek. "For all his faults Alex, he did try to love you as his own. I can see that now. For so long, I have been blinded by the hatred I have for him. And for that, I failed to see the goodness in him. He is a hard man to understand but your father can never be that evil."

"He hurt Mia in so many ways I have lost count. Because of him, I have lost her."

The Queen struggled to make Alex understand and hoped to the high heavens that it's still not too late.

"When you refuse to let go of the past and let it control you, my son, you can never be truly happy. Your father have wronged you Alex, but can you not find it in your heart to forgive him?"

"Do you love him now?" Alex questioned his mother.

The Queen remained silent for a while before answering. When she shook her head, she looked at Alex and gave him a sad smile.

"I have forgiven your father but I don't know if I can love him back the way he loves me. You just can't choose who you fall in love with."

Alex gave his mother a kiss on the forehead before standing up to leave.

"Even if you're not inlove with the King, it can't be denied that you care for him. He still is important to you. And that's all that matters."

His mother's soft voice stopped Alex on his tracks when he was about to leave.

"Alex...about Sam.."

Her son didn't turn around but remained there with his back facing hers."What about him?"

"Please Alex...he's your brother." His mother pleaded.

"In case you have forgotten, Mother, that man took the woman I love and hid her from me for a year! Because he's out for a sick revenge on our family, Mia became his collateral damage!

"Your brother is a changed man since that day, Alex. Maybe it was fate that those things happened so it will lead to this day. The day that he discovers that he doesn't need to be alone anymore. That he has us. His family."

Alex with his stormy eyes and cold voice turned to his mother." This is asking too much of me, Mother. I'm sorry."

The Queen didn't stop Alex from walking away this time.

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