The Cosmic Princess

Growing Pains

It was an anxiety attack that had sent me to the healer's wing. Ike had been worried once I had woken up, a somber expression on his face that he refused to elaborate on. When questioned about the attack, I simply brushed it away as stress, yet some of the head healers wanted to run a mental evaluation on me. I had refused. Not to be stubborn, but a small part of me was scared to know the truth. I knew the time with Zeddicus had left an impact, but something about knowing exactly what it was, made the time spent with him too real. I didn't think I was strong enough to go through with it.

After that incident, Ike went to speak with his parents. I wasn't for sure what he told them, but they agreed to give us time with being crowned, and stressed enough, I didn't question it any further.

I had other issues I needed to focus on like the many prisoners Zeddicus' death had left. Apparently, after the final battle, my mother had found a safe haven planet called Glasstula. It was a small, rocky planet with few fields that housed many galactic refugees. That was where she had shipped the many freed prisoners to.

I was extremely grateful to my mother over the next few months. Not only for her finding the planet after the battle, but also the fact that she had managed to find a task for me that I could keep busy with. The extra work helped to fight the constant dark thoughts and memories that plagued me.

When I was free and by myself, I found myself relieving memories. Memories of Niet would flash in my mind of her and I laughing as we threw jokes back and forth between each other, only for the laughter to come crumbling down to the sound of her gurgling as she choked on her own blood. Many pleasant memories would dance in my mind only to be vanquished by something darker. Some days I didn't know if I was coming or going.

"You look tired Miss. Avril." A small, orange skinned creature noted, smiling at me as its four eyes regarded me. I couldn't remember its name, but I could remember the small creature who only reached my thighs being very helpful around the many camps we had sat up for the aliens.

I forced a chuckle, not believing that it had saw through the concealer I had used to hide the dark circles under my eyes. Nightmares had begun to plague me maybe a week after the battle. They had started out with just horrific memories, but then Zeddicus became the main character. In each nightmare, he had terrorized me in some form or another. Sometimes I would just be running down an endless hallway in his castle. No matter how hard, I ran he would always catch me telling me I was his and no running away could change that. Other times, I was in that black wedding dress and there was no battle to stop it. Instead, I was shocked into submission and forever his. The dreams always grew more creative, but the underlying method was clear. I was his, and no matter how I tried to get away, I never would be truly free.

I had let Ike into my nightmares and for a while, just being with him had soothed them. Yet, the past few weeks I had been away from Ike.

He was back on Terra helping to bring order to the chaos, while I was here on Glasstula trying to do the same. Not only was I in charge of resources for hundreds of aliens, I was also in charge of finding their home planets and accessing if they wanted to even go back. If they did, that was the easy part. Yet, many had no home to go back to due to the Dynoats and that's when it became hard. I was either finding them a new sanctuary or trying to figure out something that would last here. This planet was alright, but it wasn't nearly as vivacious as it could be to sustain such a large population.

Though it was tough at times, it gave me an excuse to distance myself. I hated to admit it, but over the course of the few months I realized I had begun to detach myself from my friends and even Ike at times. It wasn't something I was proud of, but it was as if a force had taken over me and the things and people I use to adore, I suddenly didn't. It was like my body was out of my prison, but my mind was still trapped back at Deteria in that prison I called Zeddicus' castle. Days I found myself, treading alone in a gray abyss of an ocean trying to stay afloat. Most times I allowed it to carry me where it wanted because I grew tired of fighting the waves but other times I found myself struggling to stay afloat.