The Cosmic Princess

It's Just Not Fair

Melanie Martinez - Cry Baby

Dedication: HarrietStyles69

Thank you for recommending this song in my first book! It became useful for my second!

"Avril, baby. Wakeup!"

The walls were closing in on me. I groaned lowly trying to push myself up despite my shaking limbs, knowing he hated when I just laid on the ground trying to recollect myself, but everything hurt.

I knew it was my fault, but that didn't take away from the pulsating and chronic aches wrecking my body. Hot tears raced my now swollen cheeks. Silently, I sent up a prayer hoping he wouldn't be back soon and see me crying. Tears was another thing he loathed.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, I mentally hissed at myself.

I had egged him on. I had told him that I wouldn't flirt with his boss when he came over for dinner so that his chances at getting the promotion he wanted would increase. We all knew his boss liked.... younger girls. The very idea at even attempting to flirt with a man well into his fifties disgusted me. I couldn't even flirt with boys my age. What made Gene think that a fifteen-year-old could even sway the mind of a fifty something year old. The guy creeped me out, and I saw the way his sleazy eyes followed my every move whenever I was around. When Gene's boss was over, Gene made sure that I was always in view.

"Please Wake up!"

"Come on Avril." Carolyn told me as she pulled me into her arms tears rolling down her blushed cheeks. "I told you to just listen to anything he said before he got home didn't I?" She scolded sternly, however tears continued to roll down her face as I gazed at her through half opened lips. The swirling sadness in her eyes flashed to contempt before pain replaced it once more. "It's your own fault you know. You need to listen to what you are told. If you listened, you wouldn't be punished."

It hurt. Everything hurt. It pulsed. It throbbed. But she was right. It was my own fault. If I hadn't try to not bend to his will then he wouldn't have touched me. If I wouldn't have tried to stand my ground, then I would be perfectly fine instead of balled up in a corner waiting for the pain to become so intense and so overwhelming that I would just pass out.

On the few occasions that Gene's fits did leave me unconscious, Carolyn treated me like a princess. Even Gene treated me better.

"You'll listen next time won't you?" Carolyn whispered softly, hands grazing through the state of disarray that were my tangled locks. I hated her tone, patronizing yet so soothing that it came with the promises of one day no longer being Gene's punching bag. If I listened to her voice and her words, then one day this would all stop. A small part of me knew that her sickly sweet words were just false hopes, but a small part of me still dreamed they could be true especially times like this when I was too blinded by the agony to see the truth.

Somehow my pain always managed to blind me from seeing the full truth in front of me.

Weakly I tried to pull away because at that moment I truly disliked her. My lungs squeezed at the motion, and I groaned and clenched my eyes shut. The spot she was touching was particularly tender, so it was likely that Gene may have ripped a couple strands or even a patch out when he had grabbed my hair and threw me as hard as he could.

"Shit! Come on Angel, wake up for me! Wake up!"

The suppressed hatred of how she watched and did nothing surfaced. "Make him stop hitting me." I hissed lowly through clenched fingers, the frustration was clear in my tone but underneath it, I knew she could hear my plea.