Blessed Are the Messy

day twenty-one

Trust in the Lord and do good.
    Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
(4) Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart's desires.
(5) Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.
Psalm 37:4-5

Doubt. I hear this word and I get scared. It's like: Gasp! I am ABSOLUTELY not doubting God's power and willingness to provide. He reigns supreme and He's got it and that's all there is. *cut to inside my brain* Okay, but actually, He's not just going to give me peace just because I asked for it. If I ask for a sign He's not just going to give it to me just because asked. And then some time passes... and just like He promised, my prayers are answered. Maybe not in the way I had hoped, but the way it was supposed to happen.

Sometimes when things work out the exact opposite of how we want them to, we doubt God the next time. We know He is always good, and we appreciate His plan for the time being- but when the next time comes, we remember that He "didn't work it out for us" the last time. Sometimes I actually think to myself: "this is what I want, so it must be the opposite of what God wants." And sometimes, a lot of times, that's true. But God isn't in the business of foiling all of our plans: He's in the business of carrying out His own plan.

Back in the summer of 2019, God took something away and I can definitely see now that it was all part of His perfect plan. But how I cried. I was never angry at God. I understood. But the next time I wanted something to work out, there was maybe a little resentment there, like, "oh, I want this to work out. But that's not how it works." Sometimes we misinterpret "it's not part of God's plan" as "God doesn't care about our desires," and that leads to doubt. Not that He can do something, but that He will.

A lot of the time, our earthly desires don't go along with God's bigger and better plan, but that doesn't mean He WANTS us to fail. When He works things out, it isn't an accident. Sometimes opportunities are chances for us to trust that God's plan is the best plan. And some are just plain opportunities. God brings us everything we encounter; He plants those opportunities and desires in our lives and helps them grow. God's ways are not our ways- but that doesn't mean He wants to wreck every way we find.