30 Reasons To Die [#1]

Reason 10 || Derek ||

Dedicated to GirlyGem for being so supportive and really funny!

The song for the reason is... The Hanging Tree. (Lillian, I'm sure you'll enjoy it xD)

Also, thanks for 1.7k! We have about 100+ reads per chapter and that is amazing! We have also achieved a new highest ranking and it's #39 in Short Stories! YAY!

Anyway, I'm sorry for not updating for 5 days and I hope you guys had a Happy Holidays and a great New Years!

What are you guys doing for New Years?

What's your favorite songs?

Reason 10 || Derek ||

Oh, this is a sad story.  It's not even a romantic one. Just a sad, sad story. How sad.

Derek, we were besties all through middle school and a little bit of freshman year. I remember some of the good times but do you know what I remember most?

The bad times. 

Derek, it's funny, how all of you think your actions don't affect someone else.

If you guys just took a minute to look at what you have done, all you have destroyed. I'm sure you'll know exactly why I killed myself.

But, that's beside the point, this reason is for Derek.

We were in ninth grade, the prime time to be popular. We were still friends and you even protected me from the fat slut comments. 

Before Brittany saw me in the bathroom, I think you saw me but never said a thing.

We were at your house and your mom bought pizza for us. I was already becoming noticeably skinny but not enough to see. I munched on a slice of pizza, savoring the taste, then I excused myself to the bathroom.

You said that was fine and continued to eat your fourth slice.

I walked quickly to the bathroom because I knew that if I wasn't quick enough then it would be digested making it harder to throw up. 

But while I was throwing up, I felt someone watching me and I turned around. The door was ajar and that was when I knew someone saw me.

My first guess was you, Derek. But as soon as I came out of the bathroom, you were sitting in the same spot eating your fifth slice, or so I thought. 

Turns out that was your fourth slice and you had been watching me and yet you never said a damn fucking thing.

Days went on, like usual. I would go to the bathroom at lunch and pretend to be fine the rest of the day. I was getting skinnier becoming only skin and bones. 

On that day, that Brittany sent out that text, I remember feeling like life was over. I had no reason to live. Probably the whole school knew, maybe the teachers and if they did, my parents would know soon too.

They would make me eat and I just didn't want that. 

I was so close to digging the knife even deeper into my skin when you opened my bedroom door.

Derek, you rushed in and threw the knife across the room and yelled at me for being so stupid.

I just cried... the entire time.

I finally opened up before you left by saying these simple words, "I think I'm suicidal."

You turned around before you left and nodded. 

I was left in my room, cheeks stained and arms bleeding. 

Once again, the days went on and this time, you weren't there to protect me.

I was sitting alone in the bathroom. I mean some people went there just to take pictures of me throwing up. I got used to the idea that I was an act in a big attraction.

But on those days when I felt the lonliest, I got these post-its notes on my locker. 

They said...

Slut

Whore

Bitch

Anorexic Idiot

Bulimic 

Ugly

Gross

and so on.

They were all in the same writing. Derek's writing. I always thought that in your lonliest days, those notes were supposed to be words of encouragement. I guess fairytales never come true.

Derek, I have no idea why you did that, nor will I ever. 

I tried asking you once but you told me to go die.

Well Derek, your wish is fulfilled. I hope that you live a painful life.

                     Love,

                           your dead bestie, Cath.