Mulligans

36. Sliding Doors

The carefree laughter of kids flying kites on the beach carried on the wind to where Tyler and Bre sat on a playground swing set. Neither made much use of the roped seats, just swaying gently and giving an occasional little push on the sand with a bare foot. The evening was wearing on, and the sky was beginning to lose the orange luster of sunset.

"Something on your mind?" Bre asked.

Tyler looked at her ruefully with a raised eyebrow. "You can tell?"

"Well, you haven't even tried to make out with me yet, and we've been here a solid ten minutes," Bre observed.

"I can't stop thinking about it. Why would Chase do that to me? What the hell was he thinking? What was my Dad thinking?"

"They obviously weren't thinking."

Tyler dug his foot into the sand to stop swaying and turned to Bre. "So what? Does that make it all right?"

"Tyler, this isn't about you. Try to imagine how hard it must have been for your dad. Maybe Chase was supposed to be here this summer."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm just saying, if your dad is gay, he still deserves to be happy."

Tyler shook his head in disbelief. "How can my dad be gay?"

"Chase and your dad are still the same people."

"But why? Why would Chase do that to me?"

Bre sighed and looked pointedly at him. "I can't answer that for you, Tyler. Maybe you need to ask him."

They sat in silence for a while as the sky gathered more lavender into its lilac bouquet. Tyler couldn't imagine speaking to Chase, let alone forgiving him. It was hard enough pushing his mind to begin to accept his father. And here was Bre, who he had expected would be on his side, trying to suggest Chase was supposed to be here this summer. Here to what? Ruin his life, pull apart his family, and make his father gay? Yeah, that definitely seemed like something ripped from the pages of destiny. Tyler searched his heart for a shred of empathy but came up dry. There was no excuse for what they had done.

Across the lake, Stacey and Nathan were taking a walk, much as they had always done on summer evenings, although tonight felt acutely different to Stacey, as if each step were an accounting of summers past and only added more uncertainty to the future.

"Remember our first summer?" Nathan asked.

Stacey nodded. "We spoke of retiring out here one day. We were so excited."

"How's Birdy doing?"

Stacey sighed. "I think she knows. I don't think she understands it, but she doesn't have to, not yet. You haven't changed in her eyes."

"I love you, Stacey. You know that, right?"

Stacey walked along quietly for a moment. "I know. I just can't imagine what our life is going to look like. Will we still live together? If we did, will we get separate rooms? Maybe you should go home at the end of the summer and I can stay here...."

"I don't think we have the answers to those questions yet. We need to be there for Birdy. The rest—I think we take it a day at a time."

Stacey attempted a brave smile, but not having the answers scared her tremendously. If she didn't have the answers, how could she face their neighbors here or back in the city? There would be questions, without a doubt, and she'd prefer to be prepared for them. This was no longer a make-believe life, shrouded in politeness. This was the real thing, and she wasn't sure how to navigate its waters. The tears flooded her eyes without consent, and she fervently tried to wipe them away.

"Stacey, what is it?"

"I'm just... scared, Nathan. I'm thirty-six, with two kids and... well, what is my life supposed to be after this? I'll be alone, forever, really, because once Birdy leaves, then what will I have? It's not like I'm going to find someone else to be with now, at my age... and so I can just see my life stretching out in front of me—alone. It wasn't supposed to be this way." Stacey choked out the words, embarrassed at showing weakness. "I know we can't make any promises, not really, but if you could just make one... I'd just like to hope that you'll be my friend, no matter what happens."

Nathan took her hand in his, and they walked along the lake, knowing the journey ahead would not be an easy one, but whatever way the road wound, it would be easier to travel it together, at least as friends.