BOOK 1
About five years ago, a one night stand tore Bucky's life apart. It was also the night before his wedding. Now he's married to her sister and she needs a place to stay.
Rated M/R.
Lots of sensitive content in here including cheating, abuse...
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Upstate, New York
Steve texts you that afternoon asking if you were okay because you weren't at the engagement. You don't reply.
You never understood love. As a child, you always imagined it'd be something that brought happiness to you. You envisioned yourself twenty years into the future as five years old you would rip toilet paper from your parent's bathroom and stick it into the sides of your red headband. Then, you'd dig into your mother's closet and look for the fanciest pair of heels that she owned. They were about four times the size of your little feet, but you didn't care as you spun around in front of your mirror, caressing the toilet paper that fell over your shoulder as if it were a veil.
You were five and you couldn't wait until you met your prince charming, you couldn't wait to fall in love for the first time like the princesses in the movies. It seemed real to you - true love. It wasn't a myth or a fairytale, even staring at your own parents you could tell it was a real thing.
Of course, your life never turned out that way. Boy after boy, then men after men, your heart was continuously broken. That image of you walking down the aisle in a big white dress eventually diminished and with each time it seemed easier to let it go. You had no longer thought about five years old you in the toilet paper veil. Instead, you grew more with the expectation that if something was good, maybe you could date the guy forever, not even get married.
Who cares if all your old high school and college friends were married except for you.
This true reality was what you lived with now. You no longer believed in true love, just infatuation, and lust.
Or so you thought you no longer did. Your gut and your heart told you otherwise while Pebbles laid next to you as you watched Dirty Dancing for the third time that week, the second time that day.
You caressed Pebbles as she purred intently. She loved you and you loved her - this kind of love didn't hurt.
You found yourself believing in love once more as you stared at Swayze dragging the back of his hand down Baby's inner arm.
There had reached a point after your experience with Eddie where you couldn't listen to love songs anymore and movies like these made you cringe. You had become a hater, more out of lack of faith of love than hating love.
Love scared you, it's why you let it go. It always left you hurt, it was always one-sided.
You feel a tightness in your throat as you wonder how Bucky's hands would feel on you if you both danced that same way.
Pebble lets out another purr.
You allowed yourself to sulk now in pain, learning from past experience that keeping it in doesn't help anything. But you refused to think of him ever since he showed you the ring.
It wasn't doing well for your health. You couldn't eat, you couldn't sleep, you couldn't concentrate at work, and you couldn't control your tears.
You were an awful girlfriend for not even texting Loki, admitting to yourself that he wasn't the one you wanted and you refused to lead him on like it's been done to you. You hoped that he would understand without you having to have said anything.
