Limerence |James Potter|

Twenty-Five

"Why'd I have to break what I love so much?"

ϟϟϟ

Selene's eyes followed James Potter as he went about his day. Sometimes, their eyes would meet and Selene would need to dart hers away. During these brief seconds of gazing at each other, Selene could feel her heart stop in her chest. She wanted to run to him, let him know that she felt the way that he did and she was so fucking happy that he finally feels the same for her.

But, he hurt her. Without blinking an eye, he crushed her and made her feel so less about herself that she let herself turn from a hopeless romantic into someone who had sex with others just so she could feel a tinge of what she wanted from him. She wanted to be loved. And as far as she could tell, James Potter could never love her the way she needed to be loved by him.

No, he had not earned her love.

Selene had her chin lifted as she roamed the halls during her prefect duty, the first one in months that she had not moped through. She would roam these walls with pride. She was the Gryffindor prefect and she was Selene Nightwell. She was worth more than how she has been treated.

She turned a corner and came to a pause. Somehow, she had found her way to what was the Marauders' temporary hideout. She guessed that temporary means that they had moved it from the last time she walked in here. She glanced left and right around the empty corridor. The hall was quiet, she could probably justify sneaking away for a second or two.

Her hands reached out for the handle and turned it to find resistance. Sighing, she pulled out her wand.

"Alohomora," She casted quietly. She heard a clicking from the other side of the door. With a push, the door pushed open without struggle.

A layer of dust fell off of the top of the door as she opened it. She coughed as the dust reached her lungs. It was pitch dark inside, further sign that the Marauders have since moved on.

With her wand still out, she casted, "Lumos."

With new light, she was able to see the room for what it was. The squares on the floor where the couch legs were the only spots on the floor not completely covered in specks of dust. With careful footsteps, Selene navigated to where she sat just a few short months ago. It felt like so much has happened since she first admitted her feelings for James.

She remembered Sirius' breaking the silence with a simple, "It's about bloody time you realized it." She remembered Remus and Peter handing Sirius coins as they had a bet about whether or not Selene or James had feelings for each other. Sirius juggled the coins with glee.

She paused. If Remus and Peter lost... Did that mean that they didn't believe that there was any chance of feelings? Or did it mean that they thought that James would admit it before Selene?

Selene stared at the couch marks, going back to that day. She could hear the clinking of the coins landing in Sirius' hand. See the card game that stretched over the table. Hear Peter, Sirius, and Remus' banter as they decided how to best handle it. And, she could feel her own hurt. Her lips had trembled, her eyes had watered, and she thought she could not make it past her feelings for James.

Months later, she still hadn't.

A cold breeze came in from the open door and a paper in the room fluttered against the wall. Curiously, Selene walked over to it and picked it up. It was mostly crumbled, but she could still see it.

On the page was a sketch of the drawing that James had traced onto her hands all those months ago. But, there was something different. The moon was no longer clouded over and the stag was looking up at it, as if admiring its beauty. She was fully there.

Selene felt her eyes begin to water and she quickly tucked the page into her pocket. She took one more look around the room. It did not remain her of the hurt that had been caused by her feelings for James dawning on her. No, instead the page in her pocket felt heavy as she looked around, reminding her that she was there and she was here.

Her mind wandered to what her mom had said to her years ago. Selene was thirteen and frustrated that a couple in the book she was reading had not fallen in love yet. Her mom, always wise, had shook her head and smiled at her before saying: "Some people take longer to fall in love."

Selene closed her eyes and took in a deep breath in attempt to reacquaint herself with reality.

If there was a breeze that cold and hard that it rattled a paper across the room, there must be a ghost causing mischief that had passed. As prefect, it was part of her duty to make sure that no students are tormented by resident ghosts.

She walked out of the room with a purpose, her wand still lit in her hand and her chest feeling lighter as if a burden was taken off. On instinct, her free hand reached for the paper in her pocket and she let herself smile.

ϟϟϟ

The next morning, Selene was walking between classes. She had invited Sirius to walk alongside her this time around and he accepted it with glee.

Sirius was wrapping up catching her up on his proudest pranks the Marauders had pulled over the past few weeks. He spoke with such pride and certainty and quite honestly, Selene had missed hearing Sirius' rambles.

"Hey, Selene?" Sirius stopped walking to look over at his friend.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for inviting me to walk with you. I know it seems simple but... I know I haven't been the best to talk to recently. I dislike keeping secrets from you and now that James and you are being honest with each other... or on the way to... I can talk with you freely again. Thank you," Sirius spoke with sincerity.

Selene smiled at him and opened her arms for a hug. Not even a second later, Selene was engulfed in Sirius' arms. He squeezed tight and Selene's hearing was slightly muffled by the mixture of chest and arms.

"Also... while I'm being serious..." Sirius took a deep breath so he could say the next part with speed, "Lily, Remus, and I were all in on the detention that you had. Polyjuice potion, setup, the whole thing. We just wanted to force you and James together alone so you could talk."

Selene pulled her head away and gasped, "You did what?"

Sirius pushed her head light back into the hug and whispered, "Shh... You didn't hear anything." He hummed a tune as he rubbed her back, happy that he had all the secrets he was keeping out in the air.

Selene did hear it and she did appreciate it in a weird way. Her friends had her and James' best interests at heart. They must have seen and heard so much pain brewing in their relationship and had enough of their lack of communication.

Maybe, more communication was warranted. Maybe she would talk to James and clear the air. But right now, she was getting a hug from a friend she had been underappreciating as of late. Selene hugged Sirius back tighter.