Limerence |James Potter|

Sixteen

"All we are is skin and bone, trained to get along."

ϟϟϟ

Selene spent the next few days trying to convince the Marauders that she was good and trying to do what she promised James that she would do - let them go back to being friends. Yet, staying friends with James was more difficult than she could have ever anticipated. Everything he said during a day engraved itself in her brain and would replay at night. Every smile he gave was memorized and paired with fantasies that Selene craved to be real. She wanted to be the reason for his every smile and knowing that she could be, but only in a platonic way, stabbed her heart.

Hence why it was no surprise to her that she found herself in the hands of many boys. Whenever she would get frustrated with her relationship status with James, she would be able to go off on her own and find a boy with raging hormones that wanted some form of release. Most of the time, it included minimal effort on her part. She would make out with someone in a closet and then she would leave to go about the rest of her day. Other times were a lot more... physical.

She had tried to be subtle about her hookups, always ensuring that her and her temporary lover were presentable before leaving the scene. Unfortunately, word was slowly getting out.

Selene could tell by the glares that would arise on people's faces when they looked at her. She could tell by the blood purists looking down at her more than they already did. She could tell by the way whispering groups stopped when she walked by.

They had begun to call her a "slut".

Selene supposed she had it coming. It wasn't like she was exactly slow when it came to moving between lovers. It was hardly her fault that she had begun to be on many boys' radars, was it? And it most definitely wasn't her fault that a certain Potter left her in such a state of unrest that she had to release some of her extra energy supplied by hormones before she did something reckless that might damage their bleeding friendship anymore.

But that did not change how she felt herself tense up against her will whenever she heard it while passing by. It did not change that whenever it was heard, Marlene or Sirius would appear at her side and glare at everyone who even glanced her way until she relaxed. It did not change the fact that James could not bother to look at her after it occurred.

She had imagined that James would snap at everyone who dared to even mutter an insult her way but that never happened. If Selene was being entirely fair, she had also imagined that James would wake up and realize that he cared for her as much as she did for him. It would seem that Selene's imagination was nothing more than a glimmer of hope to get her through the days.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Lily asked her one day after witnessing a few Hufflepuff's uncharacteristically in disdain spit as Selene passed.

Selene shrugged her off, "It's just a phase, Lily. I have no idea what they are talking about. Soon they'll find someone else to slutshame."

Marlene huffed at this. "Selene, you're the latest attraction. I doubt they're moving on from you anytime soon."

Lily was lucky, Selene realized all at once. In all her time at Hogwarts, she had never given into a boy before she had dated one. She had kissed a Hufflepuff boy back in second year, but besides that had not gotten attached romantically to anyone until she got a boyfriend. That made her have a sense of purity, an angel to compare to Selene's growing pile of sins.

No wonder why James likes her more.

Selene shoved that unhappy thought to the corner of her mind. She would not be jealous of one of her friend's innocent status. Selene never wanted to be that person who envied another.

ϟϟϟ

One would think that after James learned that Lily was seeing someone and who that someone was, he would learn. Unfortunately, it seems that James is not as smart as he would like to believe.

Selene watched stiffly as James walked over to Lily, right past her boyfriend, and transformed a rock into a flower bouquet. He bowed and offered it to Lily, probably with a stupidly wide grin on his face. As much as Selene wanted to see how this turned out, to see that James' attempts at serenading Lily would turn horribly wrong, she had to leave.

It was better to make assumptions about what happened then to witness the heartbreak for one's self. Selene did not need to see James fall apart. She simply needed to be there when he needed to be put back together.

Besides, she had to get ready for her prefect patrol. It was the time of the month when Remus' disappeared from the lives of everyone around him and hid out in his dorms. The Marauders would take turns delivering him food and homework. Meanwhile, Selene would cover for him and double her roundabouts. She also ensured that if she ever made it out to Hogsmeade, that she would buy him a bucket full of chocolate. But between prefect duties, her mental state, and homework; she rarely had time to even sleep much less visit the nearby town.

With that in mind, she left. Selene scarcely heard the distinct sound of a slap impacting skin.

Some thing's never change.