Jealousy (z.s.)

|find a way|

Now that Zayn knew how Harry felt, he had to be extremely careful.

Whenever Harry was committed to someone, or liked someone to a certain extent, he was an extremely jealous person.

He trusted his partners, but he didn't trust other people and he knew he'd be jealous if it were to come to Zayn.

Harry sighed and got a drink from the fridge. Just thinking about having to explore a relationship with Louis made his heart sink. It felt so wrong, but he had no other choice at this point.

So tonight, he was gonna drink away all of those thoughts. He just wanted to get drunk and forget it all.

But one thing stood in the way...

Louis: "Hey haz, wanna come talk out back?"

Harry sighed

Harry: "yeah sure"

Zayn eyes them as they made their way outside, but didn't show too much concern...Harry wished he could be the same way.

Louis: "I was wondering if we could talk about tonight?"

Harry: "oh, sure"

They took a seat on the patio chairs and glanced at each other before Harry broke his gaze and stared at his feet instead.

Louis: "Liam and I were talking about this situation Simon put us in and he's decided to make the best of it."

Harry: "who Liam?"

Louis: "mhm, he said he's gonna try things out with Zayn because he had a tiny crush on him anyway"

Harry's blood started boiling. Of course he had a crush on Zayn, who didn't at this point?

Harry: "oh I see"

Louis: "I was wondering if you were okay with doing the same? We don't have to move fast or anything, we can just explore it and see what happens"

Harry hesitated...but what else could he do besides agree at this point?

Harry: "um, yeah I guess we can"

Louis: "cool"

Louis stood up and placed a kiss on Harry's cheek, making Harry wanna squirm.

Louis: "you coming back inside?"

Harry: "yeah, I'll be in soon, just give me a minute"

Louis nodded and waltzed back inside leaving Harry outside to breathe.

He sat there letting the tears well up in his eyes. All of this felt so wrong. Why did he say yes? Maybe because if Zayn was gonna be preoccupied with Liam, he wanted to be preoccupied as well.

Jealousy. That's why.

Harry: "fuck being jealous...ugh!"

Harry covered his face with his hands, holding the tears in as best as he could.

...

Back inside the other four sat around the table munching on different snacks Niall had set out for them.

Liam: "where's Harry?"

Louis: "he's coming, he just wanted a breather, might've drank a little too fast"

Liam: "happens to all of us"

Niall: "how'd the conversation go Lou?"

Niall winked at Louis, catching Zayn's attention.

Zayn: "what conversation?"

Louis: "I asked Harry if we could explore this as a real relationship and he said yes."

Zayn was confused. Harry had just told him that everything with Louis felt wrong?

A few minutes later, the sliding glass doors swung open and Harry walked in with a smile smeared across his face...everyone thought it was real, except for Zayn who knew exactly what he was hiding.

Harry: "I'm uh...I'm gonna head home."

Niall: "we haven't even played games yet haz!"

Harry: "I know uh...I'm sorry, I just don't feel well"

Louis: "want me to walk you out?"

Harry: "I mean, if you want"

Louis nodded and took Harry by the arm, causing Zayn to look away.

Once Louis made his way back inside they sat down for a round of cards, but Zayn decided to sit out this round.

Zayn: "I'll be right back, gotta use the loo"

They all nodded and Zayn raced off upstairs to the toilet, pulling out his phone from the back pocket of his skinny jeans.

Harry: "hello?"

Zayn: "why in the world would you say yes to him if it felt wrong Harry?"

Harry: "I dunno Zayn, sometimes I don't think before I speak and it all comes out wrong. Fuck it."

Zayn: "you didn't have to leave"

Harry: "I did though, the atmosphere was crushing my chest. I couldn't physically take it"

Zayn: "did he touch you?"

Harry: "kissed me on the cheek, but what does it matter? We can't be together anyway, you've got Liam"

Zayn: "that doesn't mean a damn thing Harry and you know it"

Harry: "you just told me it was too big of an obstacle Zayn, there's no way in hell we can pull it off. I just need to suck it up and get over it."

Zayn: "no you don't, I don't want you to"

Harry: "this is gonna be torture Z, watching him love up on you...no fucking way"

Zayn: "it's gonna be torture for both of us, I already wanna punch Louis for kissing you and we're not even together"

Harry sighed behind the speaker

Zayn: "but if we can find some time for us to spend together it'll be less torturous..."

Harry: "we start touring in a month, I guarantee you'll be rooming with Liam...fuck that."

Zayn: "so, when he's asleep we can meet up"

Harry: "that's cheating"

Zayn: "not technically... this is a publicity stunt, I actually want you."

Harry smiled to himself, fuck he wanted Zayn too.

Harry: "fuck I want you too"

Zayn: "then who cares, we can be with Liam and Louis during the day and we'll find special time for each other yeah?"

Harry: "this is punishment"

Zayn: "what do you mean?"

Harry: "I'm a really jealous person"

Zayn: "so you're not gonna be able to watch Liam and me...even if you know that I don't feel for him?"

Harry: "no zayn, especially because you're gonna have to have sex with him."

Zayn: "it's not gonna mean a thing to me"

Harry: "still the thought of it...and I know I'm gonna have to let Louis fuck me but, I dunno."

Zayn: "we can forget about them when it's just you and me yeah? please."

Harry: "you'd better get back to them before they come looking for you"

Zayn: "you're right...but listen, I like you Harry. A lot. I wanna figure out how to do this okay? I wanna be together."

Harry: "I know Z, I like you too. We'll figure it out."