You Sunshine, You Temptress (l.s)

My Sleepy Princess

Louis

I've been listening to the bird's conversations out of my window for 2 hours now. I haven't been able to sleep, unable to come down from my high. The events that occurred a mere 3 hours ago replay in my head on a loop and I have to refrain from getting up and going to find that man. Harry was mortified. I've never seen someone look so afraid and within seconds, break down until there was nothing left except a shell, shaking like a lead. His trembling body, his dirt-covered face, his small shaking hands, and the fear that was embedded into his eyes as he looked up at me, desperate for help, is burned into my memory. If I think about it for longer than a few seconds, I can still hear his screams. The quiet chirps of the birds are the only thing distracting me from falling apart underneath this beautiful boy. 

His head hasn't left my chest and his arms tighten around my torso every now and again after I shift a little, as if he's afraid that I'm leaving. His deep brown curls are laid out across my bare stomach, tickling my skin each time his head lifts ever so slightly when I inhale. Every few seconds he exhales and his warm breath fans out across my skin, chills raising in response. 

I can't help but feel like I took advantage of him. He's too delicate right now, and it terrifies me that I have the power to break that. What happens when he wakes up? Where do we go from here? I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy our moment but it felt so tainted and I know it's because his innocence, his purity, and his fragility are damaged. He's damaged. 

That same fear that he felt, and that desperation for someone to help him, have all been felt by me. I've been where he is, and that's why I'm terrified for him. I've been pushed against the wall, crying and begging for someone, anyone to help me. Our situations are very different, but I've still been in that position and I feel a hole in my chest deepening when I think of him going through that same trauma.

I never know which Harry I'm going to get. He could wake from his sleep and be a timid trembling mess, flinching every time my fingers graze his pale skin. He could be angry with me for what we did last night, cursing at me and telling me to never speak to him again. Maybe he'll wake up and be completely shut down, unwilling to talk about any of the events that took place and bottling everything up inside. Or maybe he'll cling to me as he did a few hours ago, his eyes begging mine to never let him go. I don't know which response I'll receive, but I desperately want it to be the last one. 

A knock on the door tears me from my thoughts, my mum's face appearing in the doorway after I mutter a "Come in", careful not to wake Harry. 

"Louis? Could you come downstairs?" She whispers when I hold a finger to my lips as a reminder for her to not speak too loud. 

"Mum he's only been asleep for 2 hours, I don't want him to wake up" I whisper, my mum nodding in understanding. 

"Just slide a pillow underneath him, it'll only take a few minutes"I sigh before reluctantly agreeing and slowly unwrapping his arms from around my torso, lifting him slightly and sliding out before quickly replacing my body with a pillow. He stirs in his sleep for a moment before settling down and cuddling into the pillow, humming softly in his sleep. I can't help the smile that grazes my face at how peaceful he looks. 

"Come on" My mum nudges me out the door and I follow her downstairs and into the kitchen. I settle down onto one of the stools in front of the island, watching my mum as she makes herself a cuppa. The entire house is silent, and I know there's something brewing beneath my mum's surface.

She stays quiet for a long while, looking as if she has something to say, but doesn't know how to form the words. After a good minute of silence, she finally speaks.