His Obsession

26

Closure

Up until now, I am still wondering why Ezekiel had a sudden outburst. Years ago, he was never like that. He was not that possessive type, he was actually cool yet I guess things now has changed. It makes me wonder, why now? Does he still like me? Well if he does, tough luck on him!

Here I am still eating in front of him, trying to finish these three goddamn burger steaks. I can see him through my peripheral vision stealing glances at me. 

Yes, I am really bothered. I am so bothered to the point that words of curiosity escaped from my mouth. 

"What really do you want from me?" I asked him. I wanted to know why is he doing this. To earn my forgiveness for the foolishness that he did years ago? 

He looked at me seriously, "You", he answered. 

Me? Is he crazy? 

"Are you crazy? What do you mean by me?" I asked him

"I want you Soleil, I want you." I don't know what to think anymore. Is this another one of his games? If it is, sorry honey, I won't fall for your traps.

"Are you kidding me? Do you think I'd buy that?" I said in disbelief. 

He dropped his spoon and fork down and tried to reach for my hand. I immediately yanked it away from him. Excuse me, we are not that close to be holding each other's hands!

"Believe me this time, my intentions for you are as clear as day. I want you." I could see the sincerity in his eyes. 

But Soleil, you saw the 'sincerity' in his eyes back too. I fell for it and looked what happened. 

"Do you think I'll believe you after what happened?" Unfucking believable! Does he think I am that naive girl? "Don't you have any shame left within you Mr. Ford? Saying that you're intentions are pure as hell! And for what? You're gonna play me like how you played me ten years ago?!" I couldn't help but burst anymore. I suffered all these years and this is what I'll hear from him, that he wants me back?

Regret and dismay were all written on his face. "I'm sorry." He said, "I know this took ten whole fucking years but I'm sorry. I was such a fool back then. I didn't realised how precious you were in front of me not until I lost you." There was pain in his voice. It was clear how he too was hurt. But I'm going to be selfish this time and only think about me. I'm tired of taking other people's feelings into consideration. This time, I'll do it for me. 

I want to give myself some closure. I want to be finally free. "Why did you do that?" Tears escaped from my eyes. Everything is coming back to me. The pain that I thought I've already moved past it. Yet it's here. 

"I was confused Soleil. I was overwhelmed. Ellie was my first love. When I saw her, I was confident that I won't feel anything for her anymore yet I failed. I kissed her, as what you saw on the video. Yet this is the part you didn't know about. I kissed her as a way of saying goodbye, of closing that chapter between her and I." He explained to me. 

"You kissed her as a way of saying goodbye while you were already courting someone else? Do you think I'd fall for that shit?" I scoffed. I'm fuming mad. Who fucking kisses someone as a way of closure? 

"I know, I fucked up. I shouldn't have done that." He told me. while wiping the tears from my eyes. 

I laughed. I was laughing for my younger self. So naive and stupid. So clueless. 

"Did you know what I was going to tell you that day?" I asked him.

He looked at me in the eyes, "No, what was it?" He said almost in a whisper

I smiled sadly and said, "I was going to surprise you by agreeing to be your girlfriend." 

I can't take this anymore. I stood up and ran as fast as I can. I saw the pain his eyes. I saw how a tear fell from his eyes the moment I said it. I saw all of his regret from just that single fucking tear. 

I thought I got away but he followed me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards his chest. His hands were slowly caressing my back as he hears my sobs. 

"I'm sorry Soleil. I'm really sorry." Sorry was all he can say. 

I heard him letting out a deep breath, "I followed you in France." He said. I looked up to him. 

He did? Then why did he not approached me and cleared all of this mess? 

"I was going to approach you but I couldn't. I heard about the pain that I cost you. I couldn't approach you because you were happy. I did not want the smile that I saw from your face disappear. So I just left." He explained, "But when I heard about you being back. I'm not going to let go of this opportunity anymore. I don't want to have regrets. That's why I did everything in my power to have our paths crossed." 

I could not believe this. I'm speechless. I'm out of words. 

He hugged me tighter, "Please give me another chance. I love you." His voice was breaking. I could feel some tears dropping on my back. 

"I can't promise you anything but give me time." I said honestly. 

I want time to think, no I need it. I need to give my head some space. My emotions were all over the place. 

"I'll wait for you. I'll show you how much you mean to me every single day. I won't fuck up anymore." He assured me. 

The both of us were just there hugging each other as if we were frozen in time. 

I hope you mean well this time.