The Letter

Chapter 17: No Tomatoes

Today was mom's first day back to work. She had taken some time off since my surgery and even more after that when I didn't wake up right away. I was thrilled to get her out of the house, and off my back.

"Okay, Abby, there are leftovers in the fridge and you know my work number if you need anything or if anything goes wrong-" She was running around the kitchen like a chicken with it's head cut off. I had to chuckle, but I didn't let her know it.

"Mom relax," I said, cutting her off. "I am 30 years old, I've been alone before. I can handle myself don't worry." She exhaled sharply. 

"Okay, I know you're right. I'm just worried that's all. You haven't been alone since you've been home. I've been with you the whole entire time." She turned her head. Was she about to cry?

"Mom," I said again, trying to reassure her. "I promise everything is going to be fine. Don't worry. If it makes you feel better you can call on your break."

Mom worked at nursing home. Yes, ironically enough she was in the medical field. She stayed pretty busy on her shifts and I knew that. But anything to get her out of my hair was good to me.

"You already know I will," she replied. She kissed me on the forehead and left. Finally, I was relieved to be home alone. Mom loved me and she took the best care of me, but sometimes she was a bit overbearing. 

The day was relatively boring. I watched a lot of TV and spent a lot of time playing Candy Crush. Marshall texted me a few times during the day and I responded in a timely manner as not to worry him. 

The truth is, I am a little worried. Last night when I went quiet on Marshall, it was because I was feeling really dizzy. It was the kind of dizzy I felt like when I was first diagnosed with the cancer. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I am a little worried. For now I am keeping it to myself, but I think I may  need to go to the doctor. First I want to get through this weekend with Marshall and his kids since it's giving him enough to worry about. I'm trying not to think too much about it. I go back to drowning myself in TV when my phone rings.

"Hello?" 

"Hey you," Marshall answers.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Its going. How about you? You still by yourself?" he asked. I wonder why he wanted to know that.

"I might be. Why?"

"Because I might be in your driveway." I got up and looked out the window and there sat his black SUV. I got up to open the door just as he was walking up to it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. 

"I just thought you could use some company, that's all." He smiled one of those crooked smiles he does sometimes and I couldn't help but feel all warm inside. He had some food, but I wasn't in much of an eating mood. I had to deflect eating it without making anything seem too obvious. He followed me inside and put the brown bag of food on the table. I realized he had brought tacos. I needed to think of a reason to turn these down.

"I wasn't sure what you might want, so I thought tacos would be good because everyone likes tacos right?" I nodded, not sure of what else to do, but my mind was racing on what excuse I could come up with.

"Marshall, I don't know if you knew this or not, but I'm allergic," I lied. It was stupid I know, but it would buy me a few more minutes to think since he was already in the kitchen looking for plates.

"Allergic? To tacos?" he asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"Um, well no, not tacos, but tomatoes, I'm allergic to tomatoes." He was quiet for a minute. He put the plates back in the cabinet and went into the living room. I followed behind him worried I had upset him.

"I'm sorry. I probably should have told you," I said. I sat next to him and looked down because I didn't know if I could continue the lie while looking into his eyes.

"Nah, you can't help it. Don't worry." he said. "Truthfully, I just wanted to see you. The food was an excuse. I have been feeling pretty nervous about this weekend." I looked up from the floor to notice he was playing with his thumbs.

"Oh?" I asked. I placed my hand lightly over his so he would stop fidgeting and look up at me. I smiled the best smile I could manage feeling only half as well as I had been since he got here.

"Yeah, you seem to have a way of making me feel better, so I thought I would stop by for some words of encouragement. The girls are all coming over after work tomorrow."

"Well, I know this is a big weekend for you," I began. I decided I was just going to make things up as I go. "But I'm sure everything is going to go fine. Isn't being a parent kind of like riding a bike?" Marshall looked at me, taken completely off guard by my last statement.

"Um, I don't know, Abby. Is it?" He was cocking that eyebrow again.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you couldn't have forgotten how to be a great dad in just a few years. Everything is going to fall right back into place, you'll see." I smiled at him, but I was beginning to feel sick. I couldn't get sick now, if I did he would make a big deal out of it or worse: call mom.

"I'm going to take your word for it, Abby," he said. "Do you want me to take those?" He pointed in the direction of the tacos that I told him I was allergic to. 

"If you want. I'm sorry again."

"Why do you keep saying sorry?" he asked. "You cant help it if your allergic. Next time I'll remember that." He smiled and got up from the couch. I guess he was ready to go home. I suddenly got an image of him taking care of me and it was something I had never wanted so much.

"I should probably go. You look tired and I have a lot to set up for tomorrow. You still coming on Sunday?" he asked. I nodded in response since it was all I could manage.

"Okay," he said. Turning for the door. He was getting ready to walk out when he came back over to me like he had forgotten something. He kissed me like that day in his office and at the hospital. "I cant wait for my girls to meet you," he said softly. Then he left.

I waited for him to pull completely out of sight then I went over and investigated the food that he forgot to get off my kitchen counter. One smell of it made me run to the bathroom. As I was vomiting, I realized I needed to get a grip on this and fast. There was no way I was going to be able to spend an entire afternoon with Marshall and his family without him suspecting something was off.