The Letter

Chapter 7: The 2nd Date

"I wish I could have been open with you about my illness. And I'm sorry you had to find out this way..."

Marshall's POV

I couldn't lie; I was nervous when Abby acted like she hardly wanted to talk to me the other day. In fact, following that day she stayed kind of distant. But I did finally get through to her and convinced her to come see me. Since then I had finished the song I was working on. I had written a 3rd verse I really wanted her to hear and Dre helped me pick out a hook- we recycled it from an old song. I was excited to have it done but really fucking nervous to play it for her.

I invited Abby back over for another movie. I got pizza. I wanted to keep it simple, she seemed to like that. I asked her over at about 6, but planned for her to be 30 minutes late, which she was. She texted me when she pulled up, just like last time. Except she seemed to be missing her wit and sarcasm. I planned to get to the bottom of that. Surely she could tell me.

When she came in she was quiet and seemed reserved. If I didn't know better I would say she had an identical twin, and that's who was in my living room, not Abby.

"So, uh, sit." I said, motioning toward the couch. She was acting really weird, but maybe she was just nervous. She sat down next to me and smiled. Maybe I was just being a little bitch.

"Well, how are you?" I asked her.

"Good, I'm good." she answered. She looked down at the CD I had in my hand, so I just jumped into it.

"I'm glad." I said. I tried to come across warm. I wanted her to feel totally comfortable. "Well, I see you looking at this," I said, holding it up. "This is the song I was working on last week. I finished it." She grinned and that seemed like the old Abby. Or at least, the one I had begun to know. "If you don't mind, I wanted to play it for you." I looked down at the CD I was holding in my hands. I turned it over and over, like a nervous tick. I waited for her to answer.

"Sure, Marshall. I would love that. If you don't mind." she said.

"Actually," I said, as I put it in the stereo I had in my living room, "I wrote a whole verse with you in mind." I watched as her face turned a shade of red and reveled in the fact that I had just made her blush.

*Insert you- the reader- playing Beautiful by Eminem here*

When the song ended I carefully removed the CD from the stereo and slowly placed it in it's case. Then I joined Abby back on the couch. She was silent for a minute, then she spoke.

"Is all that true? The stuff you said in the last verse?" she asked. I nodded.

"I wanted you to know some more personal stuff about me. Things that I may have had a hard time verbalizing to you if I didn't have the song. I actually wrote most of it in rehab last year, but I knew it would be a good opportunity to tell you some of the things I've been through too.

"Wow, Marshall, I'm sorry you went through all that. But I feel so special that you thought of me and even more so you thought to play it for me." She begun twiddling her thumbs in her lap. I took the opportunity to grab her hand.

"You are special, Abby. At least, I think you are." She didn't pull away from my touch, which I considered to be a good sign. I thought now would be a good time to go in for that kiss again. I leaned in and she jumped up from me again. That hurt.

"What are you doing?!" she practically yelled at me. I kind of sat in my spot stunned. I didn't want to yell at her. But she was really starting to confuse me.

"Well, i was going to kiss you." I said, matter-of-factly

"We have discussed this, Marshall. I told you-"

"No. You said you couldn't and left it at that. That isn't an explanation. Look, if you're not interested in me because I'm fat or whatever just tell me and save us both some time."

I looked up from the spot on the floor I was studying and met her eyes for the first time. Her eyes were glassy and I knew maybe I had hit a nerve.

"You think you're fat?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Well, I am. You and I both know I didn't look like this before I vanished from the public in '05."

"I'm not that shallow." she said, not responding to the second part of my comment.

I was about to bring that up when she sighed and sat down in a chair next to the couch, away from me. "Marshall, I need to say something." she said. My heart sank. This was where she dumped me. And to think I just practically wrote the bitch a song.

"Look," she began, "We can't do this."

"Do what exactly?" I asked, I was confused.

"Date. I have a feeling you're looking for much more than I can give you."

She was looking at me very sympathetically. Her eyes didn't seem to match what her mouth was saying. 

"I don't understand." I said, "Did I do something wrong? I won't try to kiss you again if it bothers you that much." Abby took in a deep breath as I saw a tear fall from her eye.

"No, Marshall. I promise you if I could kiss you I would kiss you like you have never been kissed in your life. But I can't and I just need you to respect that without making me explain. Okay?"

I sat there in disbelief. I'm pretty sure I felt my heart break right inside my chest. "You can't just say that to me and then expect it to be okay. I, I need answers. I deserve them, actually."

She got up from her seat and walked towards me. She ran her hand through my hair slowly. She closed her eyes like she was trying to study what it felt like. As if she were going somewhere and wouldn't get to do this ever again. I laid my head against her until she was finished, then I grabbed her hand and held it in both of mine.

"Please, Abby. Help me understand what's going on with you." I felt a lump form in my throat and I tried my hardest to swallow it.

"I'm sorry, Marshall. I can't see you anymore. Thank you for the song and for everything you have done for me. These 2 weeks have been so special."

She turned and walked towards the door. "Wait!" I called. She ignored me and kept walking. I practically ran after her. We got all the way to the front porch before she stopped.

She had full on tears running down her face. I went to wipe them but she again avoided my touch. Like I had some kind of disease.

"What happened that you don't want to see me anymore?" I asked her. I was desperate for any kind of answer. If my ugly outer apperace didnt mess this up then I had to know what did.

"Forces beyond either of our control, Marshall. I really need to get home."

She left me standing there on the porch. She got in her car and left without even so much as a goodbye. I thought she liked me. I liked her. I didn't understand what I did. But I do know I'm heartbroken.