AFTER THERE'S YOU // ZESSA

Chapter 31: Near Death

I blink, shocked at what I am witnessing. I see the back of Zed's head, his long dark hair intertwined in Rachel's perfectly manicured fingers, as Rachel presses herself to him. This is definitely real.

I stand from the booth while Hanya and Nik continue their heavy, drunken make-out session, unaware of what is going on around them. My heartbeat thumps in my ears as I feel a pool of warm saliva collect in my mouth. I am hit with a hard wave of nausea and run quickly towards the exit.

"Tess," I hear Zed yell from the bar, and look back to find his pleading eyes boring into mine. I know we need to discuss this, but I'm too mad and way too nauseated to turn around.

The room tilts as I stumble past a rowdy group of frat boys and sorority girls, their faces blurring together as I reach the door. I barely make it outside before I get sick, the red of the vodka cranberry drinks splattering the side of the brick wall. I feel my way around the side of the building, wanting to hide from any patrons of Kam's who may have just seen my drunken misfortune.

"Tessa!" I hear Zed's voice say around the corner. I do not want to talk to him right now. Or anyone for that matter. I try to keep quiet, wiping my mouth clean with the back of my hand, when another wave of severe nausea takes over. Bracing myself on the wall, I once again spew my guts out.

"Tess," I hear Zed say, his voice laced with concern as he rounds the corner, the sound of my retching surely giving away my location.

"Go away," I say, wiping my mouth again and standing up straight. I need to get out of here.

Before I can take a step, Zed grabs my arm gently. "Please, just take this at least."

Turning slowly, I see he has a plastic cup filled with ice water. I grab it quickly and take a large sip, swishing the cool water around my mouth before spitting the putrid liquid onto the ground.

I down the rest of the water quickly and shove the empty cup into Zed's hand. Wiping the tears from my face, I look away from his begging eyes, crossing my arms and moving back slightly.

"Please, listen to me Tessa. What you saw – that's, it's not what you think," he says in a rushed, worried tone, and placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shrug his hand off me, still avoiding his eye contact as I say, "Well then what was it?"

"Would you look at me," he says, raising his voice slightly.

"What!" I yell, snapping my head back to see him, as fresh, hot tears stream down my face.

He flinches for a second and his eyes widen, shocked by my anger and tears. "I, I would never do that Tessa. I wouldn't go out with you and your friends just to kiss someone else at the bar. You have to know that" he says, placing both hands on my shoulders, his eyes pulling me in.

"Well it looked an awful lot like you did just that Zed. She was all over you..." I cry, remembering the way her fingers wove into his wavy hair, and her slender body pressed into his.

Zed lets out a deep sigh, wiping a tear from my cheek. "She was drunk, Tessa. And sad. She basically threw herself at me before I could get away. She's upset I won't go out with her again. I feel bad honestly, for how things ended with her," Zed says apprehensively.

"What, so you just get to kiss her at the bar because she's sad!" I yell, turning to walk away.

"Will you listen to me before storming off," he says, grabbing my wrist and walking in front of me. The strength of his stare nearly takes my breath away, as his jaw trembles and skin reddens.

"I would never kiss her over you. Even if she was sad and throwing herself at me, like she was a few minutes ago," he says, stepping closer, his sweet breath flooding my senses. "I'm just trying to tell you how I feel, Tessa. Yes, I feel bad for Rachel. We had an okay thing going on, but it was nothing compared to what I have with you. I wouldn't trade you for the world, Tessa," he pleads, placing a hand on my cheek.

I take in everything he says, the world still spinning as I sort through my drunken thoughts. I know he cares for me and has made me a priority this past month or so, but I can't help feeling insecure in our relationship. If you can even all it that. Just because he does not like Rachel now, does not mean he won't eventually. Hardin always said how much he loved me but would go running back to Molly after every fight.

"So, you do have feelings for Rachel. I know you did – I saw how you guys were before. And what if we get in a fight, Zed. You'll just, you'll just go back to her," I say between tearful gasps, looking down at my feet.

Zed moves back, shaking his head and throwing his hands in the air, "When will you get that I'm not him, Tessa! I would never do that to you!"

I know I've upset him now, comparing him to Hardin in so few words. But I can't help it – the damage Hardin did to my heart left wounds that have yet to fully heal.

"But you said it yourself you feel bad for her. You still feel something for her. I mean, do you still... like her?" I say, moving towards Zed to stare up into his dark, stormy eyes.

"Not like that Tessa. Yes, I guess I somewhat care for her. Rachel is a nice girl with a lot to offer someone, and she did nothing wrong in our relationship," he says carefully.

Hearing his words for Rachel strikes a chord. All I hear is that he cares for her. She is great and has a lot to offer. What do I have to offer other than uncertainty and a crazy ex?

"Well fine," I yell, turning away, "if she is so great, she's waiting for you inside!"

I storm off quickly, the world turning once again as I half stumble, half jog, away from Zed. I'm not even sure where I'm going, I just know I need to get away from all of this.

"Tessa no!" I hear Zed scream, before I turn and see two bright headlights headed right towards me. 

A/N: So excited to finish the rest of this fic! From here on out it is going to get very intense and dramatic and everything I love in fanfics. You've been warned! Prepare for the next 20 chapters to get real!

Also, shoutout to @Nelliel3 and @ChevinaSmith for all the comments, votes, and support! Don't forget to read, vote, and comment if you like the story - even if you don't lol! I'll still read and love the comments =] 

I'll also be shouting out other amazing readers/supporters in the future. You guys seriously make my day <3