AFTER THERE'S YOU // ZESSA

Chapter 9: New Me

I don't hear from Hardin after that. I decide a low-key weekend is best after that ordeal and get ahead on a few assignments for my classes. I study and clean during the day, learn more about Johnson Publishing in the evenings over microwave noodles on my bed, and fall asleep to cheesy Netflix movies at night.

By Monday morning, I feel better about cutting off Hardin for good. I'm finally beginning my writing career (again) at a publishing house. I head to my usual coffee spot, with no Hardin look-a-likes in sight, and grab a coffee to go before for my drive to work.

Turns out, Johnson Publishing was everything I wanted and more. I'm not reviewing manuscripts like I was with Vance - which I still miss - but I'm working on the public relations side of things now. I get to go to a site called "Wattpad" and find fans who enjoy a similar genre to the books we are publishing. In exchange for a free manuscript of our unpublished book, they write a review. The more reviews a book gets, the more likely it is to sell more copies. I enjoy hearing from readers who get as much pleasure out of books as I do - plus, I'm getting paid for it.

My co-workers are great as well. Hanya Hartley, who told me her name is, "Like Tanya, but with an H", is hilarious. She reviews manuscripts. Her sense of humor combined with Todd's quirkiness has put a smile on my face all week. I haven't met any of the other interns, since we have alternating schedules, but I look forward to it.

Landon gets a kick out of my work stories, and says I sound much happier now that Hardin is out of my life. He's still enjoying New York and doesn't see himself returning to Washington anytime soon. It's selfish, but I hope he changes his mind. I haven't heard from Zed or Steph either, other than Steph's usual nightly text, informing me she's once again staying at Tristan's. That girl is head over heels for him...

By the time Friday rolls around, I feel on top of the world. Sure, every night before bed my mind drifts to Hardin and I feel the familiar pain of loss. I only let myself feel it for a few minutes before I push those feelings down and fall asleep. I might always love him, but I love myself more. New, independent Tessa is a Tessa I want to keep around - which means no more Hardin.

It's around 7pm when I decide to dive into a bowl of ramen and read a book on my bed.

I'm completely entranced by the final chapter of my novel, when suddenly Steph comes bursting through the door. Surprised, I scream, throwing my bowl of noodles into the air and jumping off the bed. The plastic bowl lands on the ground, sending my ramen in every direction.

"Steph!" I yell, "You scared the crap out of me!"

She stands in the doorway, mouth open and eyes wide. Then in an instant, she's laughing hysterically. She sounds like a cackling hyena, grabbing her stomach and doubling over in hysterics.

"Oh - my gosh. That is the funniest thing I've seen in forever," she says between gasps.

"It's not funny! Look at my bag!" I say, pointing at my backpack, now covered in ramen. I can't help but laugh with her at the sight of it. It looks like my backpack has a bad weave.

"What's going on in here?" a voice says from the hallway. Tristen then  walks in and shoots us both a confused look.

"Oh, nothing," Steph says, "just Tessa throwing food all over the place."
She shoots me a knowing smile.

"Steph scared me, and I dropped my bowl of ramen noodles." I reach under my bed and grab a roll of paper towels for the mess.

"Bummer," Tristan says, wrapping his arms around Steph's waist and kissing her temple.

"I'm just here to get some more clothes," Steph says, unwrapping Tristan from her waist and heading for her desk.

"I've been looking for this bra," she says, holding up the pink push-up bra that has adorned the clock on her desk for a week. My cheeks blush at her bluntness while I clean up the ramen broth on the floor, and Tristan gives Steph a wink.

"You comin' tonight, Tessa?" Tristan says, as if I should have any idea what he's talking about.

I see Steph pause. She looks back at us quickly, and then continues collecting her clothes on the ground.

"Oh yeah, there's a party tonight Tessa. I know those usually aren't your thing, though," I hear her say, now moving to her closet.

"You should come, though," Tristan says, "it will be fun. Plus, you know who was kicked out."

I hear Steph take a deep breath - she sounds frustrated.

"Damn," she says, "that dress isn't here."

"Well?" Tristan stares at me, waiting for an answer. Throwing noodles in my small trash can, I look up at him from the floor, uncertain what to say.

"Umm...okay." I say back. Did I really just agree to go to a party at Hardin's old frat? I mean, usually I'd fear what Hardin would say, but like Tristan said, he won't be there. Maybe I can even have some fun for once.

"Really?" Steph says, looking skeptical. "I mean, yeah, you should come," she says, now smiling and leaning into Tristan.

"We can get ready together!" she says, excitedly. She looks more happy about dressing me up than actually going to the party.

"Okay, sure. I mean, you know how to dress for these things, so, why not," I say in a huff, standing up, now satisfied with the state of my noodle-less floor and bag.

After showering, I blow-dry my hair and sit at Steph's desk/make up area. Steph applies my makeup while Tristan sits on the bed. By the time she's finished, I look like a different person. My eyes are lined with a thick black liner that wings out and my lips are a full pink thanks to Steph's go to lip gloss. She even put a few false lashes on my outer corners. I'm not going to lie - I like who I see looking back at me. Sure, it's different and a little sexier than anything I've done before, but I feel confident.

"What do you think Tristan?" Steph says, spinning me around in the chair.

"Damn, nice work baby," he says, pulling Steph into his lap.

"Thanks," she says back, leaning in to give him a kiss.

They are very much a PDA couple, which is uncomfortable for a third wheel like me.

"So..." I say, trying to interrupt their make out session, "what should I wear?"

Steph looks up and gives me a devilish smile. "I have the perfect thing."

I roll my eyes as she stands and pulls out a rather short black dress.

"Okay, I know it's the end of January and you might be cold but look -" she says pointing to the sleeves of the dress "- long sleeves! And if you pair them with these thigh high boots you'll be completely covered... practically." She looks like she's trying to convince herself of that explanation, as well as me.

Hmm, she does have a point. I try on her outfit recommendation, amazed by how much I like it. You can only see my mid-thigh, though my cleavage is slightly more out than I'd like it to be...

"Tessa, stop trying to find every little thing wrong with this - this outfit is," she brings her closed hand to her mouth, making a kissing sound, much like a chef would, "perfect."

"Alright, alright," I say, pulling the dress up slightly and looking at the clock. It's already 9:30. Beauty takes a lot more time than I thought.

We head over the frat party in Tristan's car, parking in the grass when we arrive. The house is already filled with people spilling in and out of the front door, red cups in hand. I feel the familiar creep of nervousness just by being here. I get out of the car, shake off my fears, and decide to walk in and have a good time.

That is, until I walk in behind Steph and Tristan and spot Zed - wrapped in another girl's arms. Who is that?