Take It All Away

Epilogue

I'm running all around my house, making sure everything is okay with everyone. I am ready, waiting for the rest of them to be ready too. My beautiful dress, my hair and my makeup, on point. It's my graduation day. I'm receiving my degree title and also de MBA I made in Columbia last year, with the meritorious stuff and everything. LSE takes super seriously its honoured students. 

It's been almost a year since the last time I saw Chris. We kept texting and video calling, we did it several times, but our schedules messed everything up. But it was not only that, the fact that we were not physically together, the time difference, it all made everything impossible to keep it afloat. Chris had to travel a lot this year, between filming and press conferences, we prayed that some of that could happen here, in London, but we could have died waiting. Very deep down, I still am. 

I still have the journal I told I would keep, it's just- I ran out of material to fill it, one day he stopped texting, and even if he actually texted, it was not the same. Something like, "I'm so sorry, I could not answer you a week ago, because I forgot."

I'm not gonna lie, there are times where my own mind likes to bully me, and I find myself remembering with nostalgia the tons of moments we lived together. We texted on special days like our birthdays, and that was all. I even tried to go back at the beginning of the year, when we used to send each other pics of what we were doing, what we were eating, how we dressed, how crowded my Underground was, how empty his airport gate was... it was fun, it made me happy. Then, he started to fade away, literally, he seemed very, very busy, so I decided to burn the last match. I sent him a pic of my boots submerged in water a day that was pouring heavily. "Classic London" said along the photo. And that's the last text in the conversation below his name on my phone. He never answered and I'm still kinda hoping he does.

So, I decided to move on. Sometimes, I type his name in the search engine and look for something new about his life. Some months ago, there were articles about Chris splitting up with the 'Florida girl', they even asked him directly about me. I knew since the very beginning it was a mistake to go public, but his stubborn ass didn't listen to me!!! He confirmed it by saying I went abroad, but we kept texting, so I didn't really mind it. Right now, I don't know anything about him, his out of tabloids, no new news, nothing! I knew from Scott (he still texts me sometimes) that Chris was renting his house in NY, because he didn't have a reason to stay there anymore. I smiled when I read it. Scott still hopes to meet me again... I doubt his brother does.  

I said I moved on, right? So, not everything is bad! I did super well in my internship, they hired me as a proper employee, I'm the new Brand Assistant Manager, it sounds so fancy and I love what I'm doing right now. This is what dreams are made of, I convince myself every day. It's funny how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.

My mum, his husband and Olly are already downstairs. We're ready to go. West is getting bigger every day, and with my salary I am able to pay him a daycare, so he doesn't spend the day alone in the house. Olly is in charge to pick him up when they both arrive in their respective buses (I know, the dog has a bus!), they usually arrive at the same time. But today, the furry friend can't come with us. We'll be back soon, anyway. 

"My little girl is so beautiful and so grownup!" My mum says, tears in his eyes.

"Oh mum, don't cry, your ruining your makeup!" I hugged her as we exited the house.

The ceremony was beautiful, they gave me a special recognition for my meritorious thesis in Columbia but also because I was the best of my class. Photos here and there, tears here and there as well. 

"Let's go next to Tower Bridge, I want you to have your grad pic over there," my mum says. 

My face turning into a question mark. "Why would you want that?" I laugh as I speak.

"Oh, c'mon Anna, give your mum the pleasure," she says, holding David's hand and me holding Olly's.

I smile. "Okay, let's go!"

We arrive and park the car. We look for a space between the multitudes of the City of London, and suddenly my heart stops. 

"Mum, what is this?" I manage to say.

She smiles widely and nods at me, Olly runs to her side as the reason my heart stopped working, approaches us. 

Yes. It's him!

"Oh my God!" My voice breaks. Chris is holding a bouquet of orchids and a smile plastered on his face.  

I run to him, he opens his arms and we become one in a hug I was craving so long ago. "You're more beautiful than I remembered."

I look at him. "What are you doing here? Where were you all this time?" I try to catch my breath again. "I have so many questions!"

He just smiles and kisses me. Oh God, his lips, I missed them so damn much. "How could I leave my best girl behind on her best day?" He tucks a lose hair behind my ear. "And besides, I missed you like hell, Anna!"

I hugged him again. "I can't believe you are here after so long. You left my heart into a thousand pieces, I knew we would end up that way, but a part of me still wanted to believe that I would see you again." 

A regretful look crosses his face, "I needed to fix myself before I could come for you, I wanted to give you my best self." He put his hands on my waist. "I took a time off, no phone, no cameras. I still had movies to film and appearances to make, but the truth is I went through a process by which my mind could be clear enough to plan all the stuff I want you to be part of from now on."

I feel worried. "Were you sick?"

Chris shakes his head. "It was just some personal issues I had to deal with, and I'm so glad I did because I missed this face of yours like I miss home when I'm away for a long, long time."

And that is how I finally end up with Christopher. Life did take its time to give us that chance, but it was totally worth it. In that time we spent apart, we both realised our life was a bit -just a bit- better with the other around. I definitely can see us now walking West through Hyde Park or Santa Monica Pier, taking Olly to some town fairs, having dinner with my mum at her house and travelling to Manchester for him to meet my dad. I can also see us spending thanksgiving in Boston with Scott and my beloved mother in law, and eating bagels at the so many airports we would have to spend our lives on.

"I just realised I loved her so, so much, to not give us a chance," Chris says smiling to my family once we finish the photoshoot by Tower Bridge and start to walk back home. 

Because just like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to be full again. And that's exactly how I feel when Chris is next to me.