Take It All Away

Chapter 19

I could barely sleep 2 hours that night, I woke up around 5-ish almost 6 am to pack my things. I felt a wrenching feeling in my chest with every cloth I folded then packed, sometimes I forgot how to breath and ended up crying silently to let Chris sleep a bit more. After 45 minutes I finished my mission and as if it was timed, Chris woke up. 

At first he couldn't even open his eyes, I bet he was having one of his worst hangovers. Then, he managed to realise everything, he looked at me, stood up to see what I was doing and finally, he punched the wall almost plunging it. I stood there without moving, my eyes watering as the seconds passed and Chris pacing the room with his hands on his face. 

"Why are you doing this?" Chris asked almost crying. 

I shook my head and came up with the less original line that exists in the human speech. "It's not you, It's me!"

"This is a joke, isn't it?" His tone raised. "I haven't spoken yet, you can't go without listen to me first!"

"That's not gonna change anything, you know?" 

After some minutes of him begging me to listen to him I agreed. He sat down on the bed and made me do the same. 

"Look, I know I did wrong leaving you alone last night and I'm so sorry Anna, I wasn't thinking straight!" He took my hands on his. "And yes, I left you because of Sophia." 

I got rid of his grip. "You haven't said anything I didn't know before."

"Let me finish," Chris tried to reach my hands again. "I wanted to talk to her, ask her how she'd been doing and that kind of things, I swear I didn't want to get back with her, I didn't even kiss her, I promise."

A laugh escaped my lips. "You don't have to explain yourself, we're nothing! Remember?"

"Anna, stop!" He was getting upset. "I was an ass when you came back... I must admit I was damn jealous. Seeing you with Henry made me sick!" 

"And you felt the need to mark your territory after that, right?" 

Chris was silent, he didn't know how to respond to that. 

"That was all I needed to leave this place, thank you," I stood up to take my suitcase. 

"Anna wait!" He stopped me. Chris didn't know what to do, he seemed uncomfortable and a bit nervous. 

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with you." 

Sorry, what? The words took their time to sink in my brain, my heart, my stomach, my lungs, everywhere at the same time. Was this happening for real? Was he being honest? Did I feel the same? I was speechless, now was me who didn't know how to respond. 

"I know I screwed everything last night, I know I made a mistake, I know I hurt you and I'm hating myself for that," he stood up. "I'm not myself when I'm under the meds' effects, neither with alcohol in my veins, and I know that's not an excuse, but Anna, if I made you feel like I was using you I'm truly, deeply sorry!" 

I blinked like a thousand times before I could speak. "I'm sorry, you lost me a minute ago." 

Chris chuckled. "Please, stay. Let me explain you." 

"Okay. What did Sophia tell you? Does she want to get back with you?" I asked reluctantly. 

"I don't know, I think she's playing with the feelings she thinks still exist," he sighed. "But when I told you last night that she didn't mean anything to me anymore I meant it." 

"So, you actually remember everything, don't you?" I looked down, embarrassed about the last night events. 

"I do, and I'm cursing myself for being an asshole, for have said what I said, for have let you go without trying to stop you," he cupped my cheeks. "Anna, I wanted to be with you, is the thing I want the most."