Vanished- Alice and EXO {Book 2}

{32} Save Us From Our Misery

7/12/14
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'You're back-' I smiled.

Xiumin was looking at me with guilt in his wide, deep saddened eyes, he started to cry and then put his arms around me tightly as he spoke with such sadness.

'Alice I'm sorry, I love you, I can't believe I made you feel like this, it's not your fault, it's mine. I never wanted you ever to feel like this again. I'm sorry, I'm so so so so sorry Alice, I love you, I love you-'

He went on and on and on until the whole room was silent, all I could hear was his soft sobs and the wind outside the window.

'Xiumin-'

He sat up and faced me as I laid on the bed, the sheets up to my collar bones keeping my warm. I still felt horrible, like I could cry forever, my head was still full of darkness like it had been in the day time when he didn't answer my calls.

'This is all my fault-' he said as he clawed as his sweaty hair.

'Xiumin? Xiumin no- what did I do?'

'No! It was never you Alice, never, you did nothing.'

I felt a tear roll down my face, I didn't bother to wipe it off. At this moment I had snapped out of my slight depressed feeling and analysed him. He was a mess, he has lost weight like me and he was so angry-sad.

I sat up and pulled him towards me and cradled him as he cried, like he always would do to me.

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As I woke I saw Xiumin sitting again the wall still on the bed, but holding my hand limply. It was the first real sleep I had had in two weeks because I had been with him, because I knew he wouldn't get up and leave early morning.

'Alice-'

I put a finger up to silence him. Again, I sat up and put my arms around his strong chest and listened to the sound of his huge heart beating under his soft skin.

'I was stupid, Alice. I know you don't want marriage, but I was such a fool. I told Chanyeol my dreams of marrying you but it was only dreams, I wouldn't do it because I couldn't do that to you. Then he told all the boys that I was going to propose and it made me feel weak and- and then I got sad. I love you Alice, a man can dream, but I couldn't hurt you like that, I'd never want to. As I was sad I saw us becoming distant, then you got depressed, you needed me by your side but I couldn't look at you either because felt like a failure because of the dreams I has been dreaming, I regret it so terribly.'

I didn't speak, for a good minute or two, I just looked at him, his pale face, red eyes and messy hair. This was the boy- now man I had fallen in love with, the one I loved so deeply. What he had just said, it me made me feel stupid, we had been stupid getting each other in such bad circumstances because of not doing what we should of been doing: being there for each other, always.

'Dreaming of something is not a sin, neither is being curious to those things, Xiumin. It's selfish of me being against marriage and children, but if marriage did happen, it wouldn't last long. We were silly to abandon each others company and let each other fall into depression, I know what it is like to be alone and so do you, now. I wanted to help you, I wanted to make you all better but I didn't think you wanted me to.'

He just looked at me, his eyes full of tears and his lip quivering.

'I will always want you Alice- without your help I would be nothing. But- but when I saw you- heard you so delicate yesterday, at your worst, I realised I was the selfish one, I was dwelling on dreams, deep down I know I am alright with not marrying a beautiful girl like you, the girl I love. I just needed to stop and realise, I needed to realise that words from friends and ones in my head didn't matter, I needed to make sure we were both okay and we wouldn't fall apart because I couldn't live with myself if we did.'

I nodded and he knew I agreed, we knew what had happened would now be over, all we had to do was talk to each other.

'I love you so much, Alice.' He said as he kissed me while wrapping his arms around my body.

When you have depression, sometimes the simplest acts from people can bring you back into the light and happiness of your life.

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1 week later

We were having out normal 'slumber night', except we didn't dance around, laugh loudly then fall asleep next to one another. We were having an old fashioned family dinner, we were at Kai and Min's house tonight.

Xiumin and I had got our lives back together and we were basically glued at our hips. Realising what had happened and talking to each other had made us even closer.

Sehun has made the hot pot (surprisingly), Kai, Min and Baekhyun supplied the small foods and Yixing and I had made dessert. We ate fast and talked loudly and a lot. Then Kyungsoo, Yixing and myself decided to prepare dessert in the kitchen.

As soon as we were well away from everyone and all we heard from them was loud conversation Yixing half skipped around as well as jumped up and down, smiling crazily.

''I'm so so excited!' He squealed.

'Yah! Shut up!' Kyungsoo whispered.

He stopped at once and I just laughed quietly.

'So he is doing it after everyone has dessert in front of them?' I asked.

Kyungsoo nodded. 'Right-' he said.

'I can't wait to see her reaction.' Yixing smiled.

'Hey! She could you know say-'

We both looked at Kyungsoo, our eyebrows probably touching our hairlines as we gave him a 'seriously dude' look.

'Okay, okay.' He put his hands up in front of him in protest as he mumbled the words.

'We ready?' I asked.

They nodded.

I carried the tray of cake to the table, while Kyungsoo had the ice cream and Yixing the cutlery and bowls. We placed cutlery and bowls in front of everyone as I placed the cake in the middle. With my left hand, I picked up the knife and sliced it into twelve. Kyungsoo was shovelling ice cream onto the plates while Yixing passed it around.

Then when we all sat down, nervous as hell, we waited for Kai to speak up.

When he did we all went silent except for Min who had lifter her spoon from the table.

Kai coughed, looked at all of us then straight back to Min.

'So-' he put his glass in the air, we followed. 'I would like to make a toast to us, to our friendship, all of you who I love and-'

As he paused he put his glass down, still looking at Min he slid his hand into his pocket but didn't show Min or us what it was, even though we knew.

'And Min, I would like to make a special toast to you.' He smiled now, he had shook the nervousness from his body and she was smiling back. As he stood up I saw her get a puzzled look across her face.

'Min, I love you and I wanted to make sure you knew that. You make me so happy and this toast is especially for you-'

He inched further towards and slowly bent down and got down on his knew. Min knew what was happening and she put a hand to her mouth.

'I'm making this toast because I want to know- to know if you will marry me?'

She didn't hesitate, she didn't even look like she took a breath all she did was jump into his arms and scream yes so loudly, that Kai knew he wouldn't have to ask her ever again.

As we all watched them having their cute moment, he putting the ring on her hand and us smiling at them, I squeezed Xiumin's hand I was clutching under the table to let him know that I loved him as much as they did eachother.

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Happy chapter for the characters and I'm glad :)

-Isabelle