CAPIREZ - FanFiction

Chapter Twenty Nine

Jessica

I got myself together.

Sara was so intoxicating and being around her was addicting. We had so much pent up sexual and emotional tension that we never acted on, so when we were together, everything was hot, new, and passionate. I was ready to be serious with her, but she wasn't.

In the grand scheme of things, what I did was not that bad. I was protecting her from Andrew by telling her that we weren't together and I apologized. I stood up to Andrew. My mistake was not that serious, but it was the last straw.

In the last year, Sara and I have both gone through hell and back. Divorces, deaths, kids, etc. We weren't ready or emotionally stable enough to be in a real relationship, but when we went for it, it felt right.

Sometimes what feels right in the moment isn't what is right in the long run, and that is what I've learned.

Kissing her and cuddling her felt so perfect in the moment.

Being with her amidst everything she and I had gone through during a time where we weren't ready for a relationship was not right for us in the long run, and it is probably okay that everything burned. We wouldn't have been right for each other at the time. We weren't.

I am still at Grey's and I am happy. I've gotten more custody of my kids; Andrew and I switch every other week. 

I try not to be alone very much due to the fact that I miss Sara with every fiber of my being.

I am healing and I am happy but I miss her. I would rather go back in time to being miserable with Andrew when I saw her every day and she was my best friend instead of now, with no Andrew, no Sara, and no best friend.

I want to touch her. I want to touch her hair. I want her to hold my face in her hands. I want her, but I haven't acted on it.

She seems happy.

If she's happy, I'm happy.