CAPIREZ - FanFiction

Chapter Thirty One

Sara

What is it with me and getting with hot people when I shouldn't?

I am still with Ramona, and don't get me wrong, she is a great woman and I think she is so wonderful, but she is so annoying. Everything she does, I mentally compare to Jess.

It's so unfair to Ramona, but I can't help it!

Ramona is beautiful and funny and passionate. She is flirty and she still buys me meals sometimes, even when I have a lot more money to spend. Ramona is smart and she articulates herself so well. 

With Ramona, things are easy. I haven't cried or been heart broken. I have only laughed, this entire two months. She is GREAT.

But I hate it. 

She laughs, but not like Jessica. 

She smiles, but her eyes don't sparkle like Jessica's.

She lays in bed next to me and it doesn't feel right.

The fact that Jess and I were only together for a few weeks and haven't spoken to each other in six months, yet I am still thinking about her says a lot. 

But Ramona is so simple and easy and good. 

But she isn't Jess.

Do you understand my internal conflict? 

"Hey babe," I hear as Ramona walks into my bedroom, wringing her hair with a towel. "I have a question."

I smile at her, sitting back into my pillows. "What's up?"

"Well, I have to go to the east coast. You know, for the center that I am building?"

"Mhmm," I say, pulling at the threads on the white blanket strung across my lap.

"I was wondering if you'd go with me."

BAD IDEA!

SAY NO SARA!

Going on a trip with this girl when she annoys you and you basically only use her for companionship is a bad idea. It's just leading her on more. It's saying that you're going to be ready for things like vacation and SHIT, moving in together.

This is not fair to her. She is an amazing woman. Stop leading her on.

Say no, break it off right here and now.

"I would love to go!"

SHIT.