Our hill of stars

Chapter Twelve- The fluorescent abyss.

                                                                         My heart is racing.

               I feel angst as the doctor takes a sample of my blood. I assumed they took the sample to mix it with Emery's blood to see how they react together. With limited knowledge of doctor things, I knew this. I hope we have the same blood type, that's the only way this will work. Things happen remarkably fast in the hospital, I wonder if doctors ever sit down. They are in constant motion going place to place. After a 20 minute wait, the nurse is in my room. Her face reads like she's about to deliver bad news. This makes me terrified of what's about to come next; the future. But my future I was scared about was this very minute, not minute, second, not even a second. But a moment. I was scared of this moment, had I lost her? Is this it? Or will she lose me?

                "Christopher, your blood mixed well together. But, we called your legal guardian. She said you could get the surgery. But, she wanted to mind you that you would owe her one."

                  Suddenly, I didn't care that I wrote Adrian's mom's number down. At that point, I barely listened to a word the nurse was saying. "Our blood mixed well together," I repeat not realizing I had said it out loud. "Don't we have to hurry?" I suddenly forget I'm about to go into a fluorescent abyss.

                 "Let's go," she motions for me to follow her. That's when it hit me, I'm about to conquer my fear. I follow her until we get to the door frame then I stop. I try to move my body but I can't. Frigid in place. Everything rushes through my head in a slight minute. 

                "I-I- I can't do this." I blurt out. The nurse turns around confused seeing me stuck in the doorway. My green eyes grew big, I was afraid. Muy curly hair was likely standing up straight by now, I'm broken. Shattered, why now? Why when someone needs you do I fall apart, I'm just like my dad. Wow, I'm pathetic worthless, a coward. "I'm sorry," my arms on the door frame soften and I feel my body relax. "Let's go," I bite my lip and continue following the nurse. While we are walking questions for her run through my brain. How long will this take? Will this work? Is there a likely chance that either of us will make it out of the abyss? Before I can get a word out of my mouth and start asking all these questions, I'm there. Hello and goodbye world.

                  After I was led in the room the surgeons did what they needed to. Then off asleep, I went. I bet Emery would soon be in this process. I don't remember the surgery but I do remember the pain in my leg after it. Once I had awoken from sleep, they took my kidney and sent it to a new room. It was weird seeing an organ of yours there and then suddenly not. My leg felt numb but my mind was blank. Suddenly I had a little worry. I'm alive. They pulled me out of the abyss and made me wait in the disease infected waiting room for Emery's surgery to be done.

                  My legs are shaking. I felt anxious now. I sat down in the corner, it looked like I feared people but it was the closet chair to the coffee machine. I had too many cups of coffee people started staring. I kept getting out of my seat to pour more, by that time I'd already had about 3 cu[s. I don't even like coffee. I could hardly taste it, I was trying to drown out thoughts. After my 5th cup of coffee, I got even shakier then I had been. I decided that it was my last cup. After finishing it a secretary calls my name and tells me I can visit Emery. She leaves her room number and waves her hand like she's in a rush.

                 When I got into her room she was sitting up in her bed. Her parents were in the room checking on her and making sure she felt alright. I mean why wouldn't they, That surgery did leave you with some pain after. I didn't feel it anymore, could be the five cups of coffee talking. I walk into her room and her parent's persistent question if she was doing alright stoped. Silent. I felt all eyes go to me. I felt awkward. Why? I walked over to Emery in her hospital bed that was extremely uncomfortable. Then she starts crying. I wonder why are these happy tears?

                "Thank you, Christopher." She smiling at me with tears in her eyes. I hold her hands in mine, I have no words. Speechless. Empty, something I normally hadn't felt. I didn't lose her, she's here, I'm here. Although death pursued me I'm alive, Why? Was this a mistake, should I not be here? My thoughts must have read clearly to her, but I realized it was probably because of my deadly grip on her hands.

               "Sorry," I backed my hands away from hers stepping back in the process. Maybe it'd be my fault if I lost her. At that moment I felt magnetic forces pulling me to the door. I couldn't resist, it pains me. I left. Vanished. Why did I leave? Did it pain me too much to see her in pain? Before I knew it I was at our treehouse. It was my only escape if I went home and started crying my mother would laugh. If I went to Emery's house she and her family would be home soon. I probably disappointed her. Before I went to our treehouse there was one other escape, or I guess option. Adrian's house. I was already in debt with that family by now, I'm shocked his mother agreed. She paid the whole thing, who convinced her? I know Adrian didn't or did he? Seems it was the only logical explanation at this point. I ran off. Coward.

                  A soulmate is someone you can endlessly admire, or feel so comfortable around that you can tell them anything. I told her everything I could. It's mutual, me and Emery both lied. Fair game. People said to fall in love with your best friend. They're the most loyal, trustworthy and caring people you know. I did. No more stubbornness, because I always have been. I have loved her ever since we met way back in middle school. She was sitting all alone at lunch. I went to sit by her. Every day that I would sit by her she would tell me to go away. I never went away, this went on for 3 months before she accepted the fact we were going to be friends. Now, look where we are, senior year of High School. Best of friends but this whole time I've been in love I was blind not to see my love for my Emery Rose Baker. I told Emery everything about me, that I could. I knew I could trust her until she lied to me about the biggest thing that's ever happened to her. The hospital could've ruined everything. Did it? No, wait, where am I going?

                  My body slammed on the brake. I was in no control, suddenly my mind overruled my body. I was at Adrian's house but my body felt the same allurement that drove me here. I was being pulled in a new direction. I need to go back. I turn the car seeing Adrian peering through the window. The speed limit was not of use. Emery knows I love her, this was all a matter if she loved me back. A stupid flower would tell me. She loves me or she loves me not. That's how it goes. I kept telling myself not to freak out if she doesn't love me. She's just a girl, not any girl though. She was different. 

                  I made it, in time hopefully. It had been a good hour by now. She could already be released from the hospital. I ran into the hospital hopeful. Now, of course, I could taste the bitterness of the coffee. I ran to the same room she had been in. Empty. Clear. That's how I felt, my heart was pounding in my chest, they released her, I'm late. I almost collapsed as if I didn't get a response now, the whole world would end. But it wouldn't, that's how it felt. Empty. I collapsed onto the floor not letting the tears fall. Why? I need to tell her now, I'm weak. In pain. She is by now as well. Wow, surgery hurts. I felt I truly lost her. Come back. I need you, Emery. I couldn't move. Someone must have poured molasses on those stupidly white floors. I'm still stuck in the abyss. I can't get out. I'm a stupid man in love, why do I need to tell her now? Is it such a fear of losing her that I can't move. Love is painful. Maybe a heartache.