The Mistress

XLVII

         *Felix*

I didn't mean for things to end this way
It was never my intention to hurt Matilda....
And I sure as hell wasn't ready to say goodbye

We shared really great time together and I don't regret it for a second
I'd still be the same miserable sulking husband...

If I decide to go under the radar with Matilda just so the heat can pass am sure she would agree but I can't do that to her.. She deserves better

And up until now I have stayed faithful to my wife. Lemme try and get that back in track

When I saw Matilda walk down the runway... There was no words to describe how beautiful she looked.. So gracefully gorgeous... I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked pretty tensed at first but with time she loosen up and rocked the runway like she own the show

And then after her bow and recognition, she winked at me.. The tiniest and carefree reaction from her makes me even more drawn to her

At that time I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to end things with Matilda... She makes me feel so alive... Like the whole world is behind us and we are the only two people left in the universe

I wanted to get out of there first... While I waited for my car...
I notice the media rounding up on someone  . when I heard her voice. I knew right away that it was her

They were crowding her and asking questions....
And then she had to just say something about.. The Mistress
And it felt like all the blood in my vein were drying up

the truth was unveiling right in front of me and I felt like a complete moron

I started having issues in my marriage because my wife spends more time with the media than with me.. I hated that she couldn't get her priorities right and we were  growing apart

But here is Matilda another star in the making..... With the way she swayed her designs just now.. She nailed being a model and a very talented designer
And Even if it her first night of being a media star.... She's going to grow out of proportion and I won't be able to help it..... There would be just another episode of media fantasy in my life looks it an unending phase in my life

Jessica started just like this.... With her rally and champaign for student union in college until she became a news anchor and now runs her own show

Matilda maybe different and be after her own progress and she's going to be successful.. I don't need a soothsayer To know she is going to be the next big thing

I just wanted to disappear so fast but the moment I got into my car, I don't even know where she came from and how she saw me she just hopped into the car and said.. 'Let's go'

I guess I have to get this done tonight
Once and for all.   
She was chattering endlessly and my mind was experiencing heart quake..
I wish she would just shut up and read the lines

I can't take her back to the apartment
I know that would just be a terrible idea.... I'll try to start but I'll end up getting her naked because I can't help it... And yet we won't achieve anything.. By doing that, I'll just get even more confused
The last thing I want to do is take advantage of her for another night

After driving myself crazy with my thoughts.. I finally pulled over in a place that seem fit for the kinda conversation we were about to have... And with no one lurking around

I've said no to thousands of applicant, close down a business deal without even going through the files, have declined several business offers and stripped out of many deals..... Not once have I felt so unsure of doing the right thing